I'm 8 weeks pregnant, we lost our first baby in August at 2 1/2 months old. We had great support from my family and all our friends but my dh s family have been awful, said hurtful things and treated our baby in a dangerous way in the hospital before he died.
We decided not to tell his family, the relationship is strained anyway and I haven't seen them for a few months and don't plan to.
We've decided their input will be minimal. Which is going to go down badly. They are very over bearing, demanding people who very rarely think about other people's feelings.
Do we tell them from the off that they won't be having our baby in the way they will be thinking (ie holidays, days out, etc) Or do we just let them carry on with their plans and not say anything.
Ps before anyone jumps on me.... this is the granny that walked into icu, ignored a nurse and took baby out of his incubator when he was on minimal handling.... legitimately bat shit!
I remember your thread at the time. They're not nice people. A gentle congratulations on this pregnancy. So if it were down to you obviously it would be NC all the way and tell them nothing but what would DH do when they do the sad act? Maybe it would be better to get all the shouting and sad act from them done now before you have this baby. And perhaps DH will see clearly.
I’m so sorry you lost your DS. I haven’t seen your previous threads but pregnancy can be a very worrying time and you don’t need anyone stressing you out. I understand a little of what you might be going through- we have quite a strained relationship at times with my DP. We had 2 losses before our DS and my mum has accused me of “excluding” her from my pregnancy- which I did to some extent just to maintain good mental health. Since then, we have had a few periods of NC when we have been though stressful experiences. NC didn’t have to be forever but it’s a part of establishing boundaries and sometimes the only option when you already have enough on your plate!
My mil was an awful dm to my dh. She met ds once or twice then we went nc. She slagged us off to anyone who would listen /read her lengthy emails but we ignored ignored ignored. Been 3 years in Jan and life is truly bliss!! Being a dgm is a privilege not a right.