Hi all. I'm fairly new on mumsnet but just after some advice. I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant with dc 2 and coming up to my 20 week scan. With my dd I found out the gender as I really wanted to prepare and make sure I had everything. I'm more relaxed this time around and have said to everyone that I want to have a surprise and this is true. However I am now starting to cave slightly as scan date draws nearer and start thinking that I do want to know as apart from anything it will make trying to decide on a name much easier for me and dh. Dh is no help and just says it's up to me and he doesn't mind if we find out or not. So for anyone who has had a surprise - did you go through moments of wanting to cave?
We had a surprise for our first. Couldn't decided whether to have another surprise or not. Decided to go for it and find out this time.... Had 20 week scan recently and the baby kept their legs firmly closed at all times. Apart from when it was holding the cord between their legs.. So we are having another surprise!
I’m almost 30 weeks with our surprise. I have had loads of moments of wanting to know. Mainly it’s when I’m browsing eBay and see cute clothes that are very definitely girls But at our 20 weeks scan I knew I didn’t want to know. We had a growth scan at 28 weeks and in the run up I kept thinking it would be nice to find out but then at the scan I was sure I didn’t want to know. Two more scans to go but I think I’ve got this far without finding out so I might as well wait
We found out with our second for a couple of reasons. Firstly so that we could sort out which clothes could be handed down and which could be passed on, we have quite limited space. Secondly my husband had quite a strong boy preference. He wanted to know so that if we were having another girl he could deal with it, move on and just be happy at the birth. He didn't want any chance that he might feel disappointed when our baby turns up. If it hadn't been for these 2 factors we would have waited until the birth as that was fun the first time.
I'm 28 weeks with my first baby and having a surprise.
A couple of times I've kind of wished I'd found out or almost found out but on the whole I'm glad I'm having a surprise.
How old is your dd? I found it made it much easier for the older dc to accept the new baby when they knew who to expect!! A named sibling feels already part of the family before it arrives ime!
Thanks for the replies. I've told dh it may well be down to the wire when I'm actually having the scan. Also it may well decide to keep its legs crossed like yours @GlitterRollerSkate!
My DD is three @Tinselistacky. So yes it would make it easier on her as she has already expressed a preference for a baby girl and has pronounced "yuck" when I said it might be a baby boy! So that's a point to consider
We had a surprise for both our dd and ds. We never even came close to wanting to find out with either. We had lots of extra scans with our dd and it never even entered my head we could find out. As we had a surprise the first time we had loads of white/gender neutral newborn clothes to reuse. I just washed all those to prepare for the second. I don't really understand why you'd need to know to prepare? We had a gender neutral pram first time around too but we knew we wanted more children either way (ended up with a brand new double one after a close age gap anyway!)
We enjoyed guessing the gender during the pregnancy and finding out what we'd had at the birth was a lovely moment for both of us. We had no gender preference either time though so there would never have been any quiet disappointment.
I had my surprise 5 months ago and honestly was the best decision I made not finding out, the excitement is amazing! I nearly caved when I was in there but DP kept me in line and I'm so glad he did!
Had mine 3 mos ago and was the best as well. We were hoping for a dd and it finally came true.
So happy for you @Erica! @Halfdrankbrew - the preparing with the first is that I'm quite an OCD person and when I was looking for my dd's stuff a lot of it was sadly either blue or pink. Add to that the extreme nerves I had being pregnant for the first time I wanted to find out all I could! We have a gender neutral pram and everything else and actually I've seen lots more gender neutral choice this time round which is great. I don't have a gender preference this time at all so I know I'll be thrilled either way. And I do love the idea of finding out in the delivery room - such an amazing moment I imagine and the main reason I want a surprise.
Have a surprise go on!! Only thing that's hard is picking boys and girls names in advance. We'd only picked a girls name for our dd, luckily she was a girl. Our little boy who we had 5 months ago was "no name" for about 4 days, we hadn't actually picked boys or girls names though, we just couldn't agree on any!
We had a surprise with DS1 and I am currently 23 weeks with our 2nd surprise! Dp would of liked to have found out this time but I really didn't want too!
So many people find out these days and have usually named the baby and everything before it arrives the surprise element just isn't there! I get why people do, practicalities/gender preference/excitement/preparing younger siblings but for me I enjoy not knowing along with everyone else.
Good luck whatever you decide x
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