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Partner issues...

(6 Posts)
Okayestmum Tue 05-Dec-17 02:49:06

Has anyone ever slapped their DH? We got into a huge argument where he was verbally attacking me and being really cruel. I asked him to stop and leave the room and he didn’t so when he got in my face I smacked him. Not super hard or anything, but still. Of course I feel terrible but I’ve told him I have a hard time controlling my temper when I’m being provoked and antagonized, not to mention I’m 8 months pregnant and my patience is less than normal. Has anyone else done something similar and gotten through it? Oh, and he didn’t retaliate or anything. I feel like we’re headed for divorce now.

BigBaboonBum Tue 05-Dec-17 02:59:36

Physical violence is never okay, regardless who does it... but yes I have quite a lot of friends who have gone through similar and gotten through it. It’s a massive breach of trust so he will understandably sulk for awhile, but he should take into consideration the fact you’re pregnant and it is VERY difficult to control anger or any emotion right now. I suggest simply walking away next time and yelling at a distance if you really have to get some yelling in there.
He needs to be more understanding towards you and never raise his voice, especially now. Although I’m not making excuses for what you did, but for a lot of couples pregnancy is the most difficult time in a relationship they will EVER go through purely because of how out of control of her emotions she is. I know that sometimes the smallest most random thing will trigger me and I’ll be SO ANGRY for no reason, luckily my OH is completely placid and I basically just mood and spray hormones everywhere for awhile until I wind down lol, it’s absolutely stupid when I look back after the fact but at the time it feels like legit feelings. I’m glad he says nothing back because it’s hard enough to calm down when he’s quiet never mind if he was giving me shit back!

It will soon be over and back to normal, you both just have to grin and bear it. You need to make up for what you did but also forgive yourself as you wouldn’t do it otherwise so it’s not a show of your true character

Okayestmum Tue 05-Dec-17 03:33:40

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response. It means a lot. I was prepared to get chewed out for being “abusive”. I would never think to hit him any other time than when he is in my face and won’t stop. I have no history of violence. I really do think it’s just the pregnancy. I do the same stuff. I get mad about little things and usually he just ignores me and let’s me bitch about it to myself. It’s when he gives me crap back that we have problems. Hoping we can pull it together until I give birth. I’m just glad our toddler was asleep in bed. Thanks for understanding

MorningstarMoon Tue 05-Dec-17 04:29:13

8 months pregnant is 100% no excuse for being 'less patient'. If this thread was you saying he had slapped you MN would be in uproar that you should LTB etc.

Next time you be the one who leaves the room or leave the house and take a walk to calm down. It shouldn't just have to be him that leaves the room.

However yes people do get through these kinds of things. Maybe you should sit down and both work through what the problem is.

DixieFlatline Tue 05-Dec-17 04:34:28

Getting right in your face is not ok either.

Halfdrankbrew Tue 05-Dec-17 04:58:00

No advise as such but I did a similar thing about 8 months pregnant, I slapped my husband too during a row. The last month of pregnancy seems to send me a little psycho, I'd never normally do anything like that, but it's no excuse.

We are fine though, all was forgiven and forgotten, but it was a stupid thing to do and not something I'd be proud to tell people about!

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