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C Section not real labour

(59 Posts)
guest477337 Tue 05-Dec-17 01:10:30

I keep reading articles and stories of people having C sections and other mums/people saying it's not like actually giving birth or it's not as good as a vaginal birth or even that it's not normal.

I cannot understand this! Do some people really have this view? Or are they silly stories to drum up hate and arguments?

Child birth is child birth and no matter how you have your child it doesn't make it any less special or a person less of a mother. I think every women who had given birth is amazing no matter how it's happened!!

I'm a FTM and have so much admiration for all mothers, I don't think anyone realises how hard although it's amazing and rewarding being a parent is!!

LittleKiwi Tue 05-Dec-17 01:24:01

I don’t get it either BUT I know a couple of people who’ve had sections and felt this way. Intelligent, rational women. And I haven’t had a section so not sure my not getting it is that surprising?

LittleKiwi Tue 05-Dec-17 01:25:35

In the same way that I don’t get why a c-section is less than any other type of delivery, I also don’t think all mothers are amazing. Guess I don’t really get the hoo ha about birth full stop.

Bisquick Tue 05-Dec-17 02:14:32

I recently told someone who doesn’t know me very well that I’m having a “planned section for obstetric reasons” (ie none of your business why). They responded with “Oh did you not fancy trying for a natural birth”.

People judge. Typically FTMs who haven’t laboured before and have no idea how rare a completely “natural” birth is. Then they see their antenatal groups buzzing with so many women being induced and having interventions of various sorts and all manner of things and eventually realise all that matters is a healthy baby and healthy mum at the end of it.

I also found judgement from hippy NCT instructor type who’ve spent their careers railing against the medicalisation of labour etc. I understand where they are coming from but they make women who are having sections feel needlessly guilty IMO.

Fwiw I have v good reasons for choosing a planned section based on sound medical advice, but I still keep questioning myself based on everything I keep hearing/reading.

TheEdge266 Tue 05-Dec-17 02:38:49

Haha my friend had her baby about 6 months after to me and told me how "lucky" I was that I "got to" have a c section. I. Not sure mine and my son's lives being at risk during my labour really qualified as luck.
I'm having a planned section this time round due to the horrific experience of last time and another friend asked me "don't you want to experience what it's like to give birth to a child?" And "but you will bond better"... I'm pretty sure regardless of how your baby comes out, you feel the exact same elation at that moment you meet your child and how they come into the world is irrelevant. Also, I never had a problem bonding with my son, so I'm unsure how that came into it.

Some people are made to feel so shit about the way they deliver and then go on to make parenting choices in general and it's really sad. Equally, some see it as a competition on how they managed to labour better than you or how their childbirth experience was a lot more horrific than yours. I find it all a bit baffling to he honest.

Apologies for the long post!

Lollipop30 Tue 05-Dec-17 02:45:43

To be honest either ways crap, we really should have evolved by now for it to be painless!
Vaginal you get all the shit before baby and section you get all the shit after it arrives and if you have an emergency c section then well you're doubley screwed over.
If you’ve delivered a baby out of your body...then you have delivered a baby out if you’re body.

Topseyt Tue 05-Dec-17 02:47:15

It is all utter bollocks.

It matters not a hot how you deliver the baby so long as you and the baby are healthy.

I have had vaginal deliveries and a c-section. I preferred the c-section.

Topseyt Tue 05-Dec-17 02:48:28

Not a jot. Silly auto-correct.

Sashkin Tue 05-Dec-17 02:54:45

My Pilates teacher came out with this. I swapped classes.

I’d be vaguely interested to know what labour feels like so would have a VBAC in the future if my obstetric team were on board, but for this pregnancy if I’d gone into labour with DS he’d have died so it was a pretty straightforward decision really hmm

wasMissD Tue 05-Dec-17 02:57:37

This really riles me! A birth is a birth, no matter how they come out!
Though my sister had a c-section and said she didn't feel like she'd given birth. She's recovered lovely (her baby is 6mo) and my Pelvic floor after vaginal birth (my lo is 4MO) is ruined ha ha!

GreyMorning Tue 05-Dec-17 02:59:27

How ever you do it, it blinking hurts.

wasMissD Tue 05-Dec-17 03:06:09

GreyMorning brilliant, and true!!

pallisers Tue 05-Dec-17 03:14:52

no one gives a shit how anyone was born in the end of the day. how often are you at a party and someone says "oh this is Mary, she is very interested in macrame just like you, Julie, and also is a c-section baby like yourself"

I've had both - vaginal and c-section. I laboured to deliver them in every case.

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 05-Dec-17 03:22:34

Having delivered dd vaginally, I think the benefits to having a c section are that you don’t have a stretched fanny and are less likely to have pelvic floor issues. It’s just as much of a birth though and I don’t judge women for not doing the same as me. I understand the natural way is better as the baby is coated in immune fluids as it passes down the birth canal. Luuuvly. I was told by the hospital they wanted to c section me and I had to push not to have one (pardon the pun). I refused because of the recovery after. That completely put me off tbh.

Sashkin Tue 05-Dec-17 03:27:37

I didn’t find the recovery particularly difficult. I was out of bed once the spinal sore off, and just on paracetamol and ibuprofen after that.

Elective section though, which I’ve heard is much easier.

Halfdrankbrew Tue 05-Dec-17 03:43:18

I agree a birth is a birth no matter how your baby arrives, I certainly don't see it as "not giving birth". I actually have slightly more respect for women who have a c-section whether it's planned or an emergency, for me it was my greatest fear when I was pregnant both times. To go through major surgery and the recovery afterwards, I'd be pretty pissed off too if someone thought I'd not given birth or taken the easy option.

TheEdge266 Tue 05-Dec-17 03:55:36

When people ask about it my sister and myself just tell people "we're too posh to push"... in my experience no one wants to hear your birth stories, they just nod along until they can tell you theirs. I've been through labour, it hurts regardless of the outcome. I have no doubt that pushing a baby through your bits is very painful and the thought of tearing really freaks me out. It's not an amazing experience for anyone but the outcome is.

Rayraybt2006 Tue 05-Dec-17 05:27:09

Given all the responses so far I feel like anyone with the 'c section isn't real delivery' opinion are steering well clear of this thread 😂😂
I had an emergency section with DD1 after labouring for over 4 days and her nearly dying. This time round ( tomorrow in fact 🙈) I'm having an elective section for DC2. There is no way I would be mentally able or prepared to chance what happened the last time happening again.
Women's bodies are bloody brilliant, strong and resilient things and nurture and grow children for 9 months. However you end up with your LO in your arms - WELL DONE 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 congrats and be proud of yourself. Each delivery has pros and cons as most choices in life do. Enjoy your new darling and screw ANYONE who lessens or undermines your experience! 😋😋😋

hazeyjane Tue 05-Dec-17 05:33:29

Tbh I've never seen any articles or stories stating C-sections aren't real birth, etc. I don't think all mothers are amazing and if I'm being pedantic I don't think an elective C-section is labour (which is birth from uterine contractions to delivery)

That being said, my C-section was as much a birth as my vaginal births. The recovery has certainly been longer, and the event was certainly more traumatic!

NotAgainYoda Tue 05-Dec-17 05:36:07

I have never seen a C Section described in this way

Are you a journalist? GF?

Spam88 Tue 05-Dec-17 08:07:04

Your title is misleading, because labour describes a particular process which a Caesarean is not, but all the statements in your OP are of course ridiculous. I have a friend actually who had her baby about 6 months before me, failed induction so ended up with a section, and she made a passing comment a few months back about how she hadn't given birth. I thought that was odd 🤔 as far as I'm concerned, if you bring a new life in to the world then you've given birth, which ever exit the baby uses.

BigBaboonBum Tue 05-Dec-17 09:16:37

I’ve never heard that before. C section is massive surgery and I don’t think many people in the world would prefer that over natural birth at all, it’s surely a much more difficult process of birthing a child than vaginal birth. Vaginal birth hurts, but it’s not like we’re fitting babies out of our normal bodies... during birth our bodies accommodate the process. You get no such luxury during a c section and then there is the recovery time! A c section is my worst nightmare based on the fact it would be a far more difficult way to birth a child, but I absolutely admire those who do (my mum was one of them!).

So no, that’s not a thing

guest477337 Tue 05-Dec-17 09:22:24

Google c section not giving birth and you'll see loads of things.

Not actual factual articles but a lot of opinions is that it's not real labour which I agree is ridiculous!!

As I've said labour is labour and as long as the mother and baby are safe and healthy that's all that matters.

guest477337 Tue 05-Dec-17 09:24:20

This is a poster created by a religious group

guest477337 Tue 05-Dec-17 09:25:07

This is what I meant! Idiotic twats doing stuff like this and I've read a lot of blogs on women who had sections who don't feel like they gave birth properly.

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