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What I've learned from Mumsnet

(17 Posts)
Calahmoo Sat 02-Dec-17 12:09:40

1. Lots of women offering each other practical advice and support.
2. Women talking down to each other about things they don't know like they are stupid
3. Lots and lots of slagging off Drs/Midwifes.
4. Women offering medical advice to others which presumably isn't backed by any medical training.
5. 'I'm not trying to scare you hun' followed by the worst story in the world followed by 'but I'm sure that won't happen to you'

I have only downloaded this for a week and I can see why hospital staff and midwives advise people against these kind of sites!

Rebeccaslicker Sat 02-Dec-17 12:26:41

Confirmation bias much?!

The site is worth what you take away from it.

Scrowy Sat 02-Dec-17 12:31:30

5. 'I'm not trying to scare you hun' followed by the worst story in the world followed by 'but I'm sure that won't happen to you'

Think you have got mixed up with netmums, hun.

SnoozeTime Sat 02-Dec-17 12:47:18

You forgot...the advice about ignoring DR/MW medical advice and how to use the NICE guidelines to manipulate and get what you want. If that fails, demand they write your demands in your medical notes if they won't give in to your threats 😂

Calahmoo Sat 02-Dec-17 12:53:48

Well I'd loved to have taken away some positives! From my one question, I was told I don't have it too bad, with only having 'early' losses. I know there is always someone worse off but I thought it was about supporting each other? Not belittling each other's losses. If it had been only one person then maybe, but there were quite a few.

Such a shame, I really wanted some support but feel stupid now. What good does it do to tell someone they shouldn't feel bad about something which is clearly upsetting them?

Carane Sat 02-Dec-17 13:03:35

Can you link to the thread you are referring to because I find it hard to believe that people were so insensitive to your losses. I am sorry for your losses.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 02-Dec-17 13:12:30

I'm really sorry that was the reaction you got - did you post in AIBU? I have found, sadly, that there are threads there where women essentially say that if you lose before 6 weeks it's your own fault for testing early, but I have never encountered that on the pregnancy, conception or miscarriage boards, and I'm sorry that you did.

SquarePegInARoundHole Sat 02-Dec-17 13:14:38

Haven't been on your threads but that doesn't sound like the MN I know. As for doctors, midwives, horror stories and advocacy - I think it's bloody important if asked and only if asked, that women are not sugar coated with "oh, it's just a bit of pressure, dear" "you'll look forward to the tea and toast later" minimising that occurs in planning for parenthood classes. I hope you have the birth you want and wish you the best for the rest of your pregnancy shamrock

YouCantArgueWithStupid Sat 02-Dec-17 13:21:31

It's not slagging off Dr's and midwives. It's peoples experiences. You can't argue with how someone feels.

Oysterbabe Sat 02-Dec-17 13:25:26

You see that cross in the top right corner? Why not use it? No one's forcing you to be here.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Sat 02-Dec-17 13:26:05

Well I'd loved to have taken away some positives!

I thought it was about supporting each other?

See point 1) on your list.

Calahmoo Sat 02-Dec-17 13:38:25

I may have been hasty, as I see from this post people can actually be really nice.

But as someone said above nobody is forcing me to be here, I guess this was the sort of attitude I was referring to.

Thanks everyone for restoring my faith! But sadly I'm battling with a lot of anxiety and I don't think I have the energy for people being funny with me. I know you can't wrap yourself in cotton wool, but I'm gonna try!

Sorry, I admit I was wrong and there are nice people supporting each other, I just don't have any energy for one-upmanship or suspicion.

Sorry for any offence caused.

ICanNeverThinkOfAGoodUsrname Sat 02-Dec-17 14:45:21

That doesn't sound like the mumsnet I know and I've also never heard of Drs and midwives advising against this site (one of my close friends is a midwife and another friend is a Dr), where have you heard this?

I really do think that if thus is the genuine feeling you've got from this site in a week then you've picked an out of the ordinary week.

Manctart Sat 02-Dec-17 16:25:53

Hi OP, I'm sorry to hear you haven't had a positive experience on Mumsnet and also very sorry to hear of your losses. I just wanted to say that I have posted a couple of time here out of desperation or for a little hand hold and the ladies who have responded have been very kind and helpful - obviously if you don't want to post again that's fine but if you did decide to then I hope you would have a different experience! flowers

thingymaboob Sat 02-Dec-17 18:50:44

I have hyperemesis gravidarum and felt so alone and isolated in those early months. The hyperemesis support thread was such a source of support for me, and I'm sure fir others. There's always women on there willing to take the time to give advice and support. I would have been lost without them.

Binglesplodge Sat 02-Dec-17 19:01:33

I'm so sorry you haven't had support for your losses. It's a truly awful thing to go through even at a very early stage of pregnancy and I hope you don't think everyone here is like that - I've seen a lot of compassion for people in your position.

You're finding your way round very well for your first week on the site: perhaps you've already figured out how to name change as I've had a quick look to see where people have been unkind to you but can't see you on any threads other than this one?

CL1982 Sat 02-Dec-17 21:50:38

That's such a shame OP. I actually have found quite a lot of threads amazing and have just avoided anything I don't agree with and left without a comment. Plus I have a wonderful group of women due around the same time as me on fb now who are so supportive that I met here!

I would say that actually a lot of women on here DO have more experience of certain things than many doctors and nurses (as my GP said, she hasn't experienced 3 miscarriages while I have even though she's read about it in a text book) but that doesn't mean they have the medical knowledge to back it up so I do understand what you mean in a way. However..... I know when I was TTC my GP was awesome about getting tips from me which she could use going forwards wth others and I made damn sure I did a LOT of research on papers and scientific journals before a procedure was recommended or before I visited consultants which did give me quite a lot of knowledge that I have shared on here.

I think that you take and give what you want on here. It's a public forum. It's a collection of women from all over the country-you won't agree or get on with all of them and debate is healthy so long as it's respectfully done. In the main on here that is what happens. Just avoid anything you don't like.

Go on-give it another chance 😊

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