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(5 Posts)
nousername123 Thu 30-Nov-17 17:21:29

I just need to get things off of my chest.
Fell pregnant in April, moved in with my partner. Both working, myself full time, partner part time (he's disabled) everything looking great. Start having his kids from previous marriage more. All good family unit going on. He gets offered a full time job (he accepts thinking he can manage) I have a few struggles with pregnancy, reduce my hours slightly, take maternity leave as early as possible due to illness and heavy lifting job. All good (slight struggle with money but nothing we can't handle) we live in a first floor flat, which I help him up the stairs. Looking at ground floor places to rent as I'm struggling to get him up the stairs. Only get 6 weeks maternity pay, rest in statutory which isn't great. Make cut backs and go without things etc. Partner starts needing to use crutches again, struggling to do simple tasks, constant time off of work due to this. Then 2 weeks ago, he gets sacked for not being able to physically do the job, immediate affect. We go to citizens advice, they say nothing they can do as he's not been there 2 years. So now I'm earning £140 a week and he's earning £55 a week from his PIP. It's less than a month till Christmas, I'm still struggling to get him up the stairs, his doctor has now said he is unfit for work, we try to claim benefits to help us through sticky time, they said we have to claim universal credit, tell us it's going to take 7 weeks. We have no money now, baby due in 8 weeks, our tenancy runs out December 19th, if we want to keep it on we have to pay £50 extra on our rent which we obviously can't afford.
I'm struggling with OCD, Anxiety and Depression which I've tried to hide (not very successfully) struggling to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Very very low at the moment. Applied to council to House us in ground floor accommodation even if it's temporary. They're taking ages to sort stuff. We have literally no money at all. We've gone from being financially stable and making our life together to rock bottom. Only thing keeping me going is knowing I'm going to have a baby in about 8 weeks time. We managed to buy a few small presents for his kids for Christmas but not as much as we would like to have. We've just spoken to his ex wife to explain that until we receive benefits we can't pay child maintenance (usually £280 per month) she's kicked off demanding money said we could pay our last £50, not heard anything back. I feel like a scrounger asking the council and benefits system to help, never asked for help my whole life, always paid my way and worked hard for everything I want. Partner frustrated at being disabled (had a major car crash a few years ago) his physical health deteriorating drastically. Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation and felt like there was no way out? Feeling really really low sad

molifly Thu 30-Nov-17 17:29:05

You poor thing. Have a look at a website called turn2us, they sometimes have charitable grants you can apply for. Can you afford to eat?

nousername123 Thu 30-Nov-17 17:41:34

I've asked the job centre about a grant and because I've got savings in my name (for my granddads funeral, not my money) they said we aren't entitled to anything. we are eating round my mums at the moment and she's buying our little bits of shopping for when his kids come round so we can feed them. My partners just explained to them that he's lost his job so Christmas isn't going to be fantastic this year. They're very understanding, fantastic children. His ex wife is quite hard work and will probably stop him seeing the children, she knows we can't afford a solicitor. My mum is helping as much as she can but it's Christmas soon and she's going to be struggling soon. I don't want to use a food bank because I appreciate there are people probably a lot worse off. We are spending a lot of time round my mums so we don't have to heat our flat. I'm having counselling which starts next week. We've asked everywhere for advice and help. The job centre have been friendly and helpful but they can't really do a lot. They said this universal credit takes ages to kick in. Just disheartening when you go from having everything to next to nothing in a small space of time and no control over it x

peachesarenom Thu 30-Nov-17 19:54:15

I had a friend in a tight spot who set up a crowd funding page and then all his friends could pitch in. I am so sorry! I hope the council sorts you out.

Ct17218 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:17:06

Sure start centre can sometimes provide maternity grant to cover costs of baby items. Not sure what you need to access it but they may be able to help more. As far as child maintenance contact CMS yourselves or use the calculator online to work out what you should be paying on your current incomes as them you can tell her you are paying what is expected of you, and where and when you can you’ll provide extra. Xxx

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