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To be completely terrified of miscarrying

(13 Posts)
RockingLobstering Thu 30-Nov-17 10:43:29

Before I had my DD, I miscarried at about 8 weeks.
I'm coming up to 6 weeks pregnant now and I am absolutely terrified of miscarrying again.
Every time I go to the loo I'm terrified of discovering I'm bleeding.
I know some people go through many, many miscarriages and kudos to them for being such strong women. I was in a very very dark place after the miscarriage and honestly don't know how I'd cope if the worst happened again.
Anyone got any words of comfort/ wisdom, or ideas to keep my mind of this until the first scan?

Rebeccaslicker Thu 30-Nov-17 10:53:14

No words of wisdom just a big internet hug and flowers.

Statistically the odds are in your favour. Hopefully every time you go and see nothing, you will relax a tiny bit more.

It is so hard all the waiting and it being totally out of your control. You can't even have a nice wine to calm down!

zaalitje Thu 30-Nov-17 10:54:41

There's a very supportive thread on here about staying positive post miscarriage, come join us for some hand holding and support.

Girlwiththearabstrap Thu 30-Nov-17 10:58:19

No words of wisdom but another big hug. More pregnancies result in a baby than a miscarriage but pregnancy after a loss is hard, no matter when it happens.

PeachyCandle Thu 30-Nov-17 11:01:22

Congrats on the pregnancy! flowers

This was me last summer. I had a mmc in April (9 weeks but not detected til almost 12), was pregnant again in August. 7mo DD is now snuggled in my arms, I am very lucky as I had a DS before the mc so I appreciate for me it wasn’t as hard as it is for some. But the pregnancy after the mc was extremely stressful, I had some bleeding at the same time as I lost the other pregnancy and a horrible 2 day wait for a scan...the time passes so slowly and being on knicker watch is awful.

It’s totally normal to be anxious, have you seen a MW yet and mentioned your fears? Mine was lovely and so supportive and caring.

nornironlady Thu 30-Nov-17 11:03:22

I was in a similar situation and waiting on that first scan was a complete nightmare. I asked the doctor to request an early scan when making my maternity referral to put my mind at rest. It's just a waiting game - my thoughts are with you OP.

BabloHoney Thu 30-Nov-17 11:05:30

Bless you, I have been there - pregnancy after a miscarriage is so stressful and scary. I would speak to your doctor and explain your worries and ask to be referred to your local EPU for an early scan.. I was referred at 7 weeks after 2 previous miscarriages before having my son. We saw a heartbeat at the early scan and although I still spent the entire pregnancy worrying, it was definitely reassuring to see the heartbeat early, I'd have been a complete wreck waiting until 12 weeks! Sending you lots of love for a healthy pregnancy xx

RockingLobstering Thu 30-Nov-17 11:06:25

Thanks guys- tried to book midwife appointment on Monday but was told their system wasn't working properly and they couldn't take any bookings until Friday- will be ringing first thing tomorrow to book.
@nornironlady
Did you get an early scan? I'm aware they may say its not necessary but it would help me relax and stop panicking so much!

JediStoleMyBike Thu 30-Nov-17 11:08:12

I know how you feel. I'm sorry to say it doesn't get easier either. I have had two miscarriages and a healthy pregnancy that resulted in my glorious DD. I am pregnant again, only 6 weeks (thought I was 8 and the dates have been pushed back by early pregnancy unit scans). I've seen a heartbeat but I'm on tenterhooks due to the previous losses and date discrepancies.
Miscarriages are so, so shattering. The grief is indescribable so I suppose it is to be expected that it colours everything afterwards.
I suppose all you can do is (and I know it's hard!!) try your best to stay calm and give each pregnancy a chance. It really is a game of hope. I wish you the very best flowers

LisaSimpsonsbff Thu 30-Nov-17 11:55:26

I'm so sorry you're feeling so anxious. I think you're very unlikely to get an NHS early scan after one miscarriage and then a healthy pregnancy (my area won't give them unless you've had three miscarriages - unless you have bleeding or severe pain, of course) - and while that might be disappointing, the thing to remember is that's because your chances are really, really good. You're at no higher chance of having a miscarriage than someone who's never had one - try and hang on to that. While no one can tell you what will happen, your odds are really good.

I completely understand how you're feeling - I'm nearly seven weeks and absolutely terrified after three previous early losses (and no living children). But I'm trying to tell myself that my devastation if I lose this one too won't be lessened at all by worrying about it beforehand. Sadly, you can't preempt pain and get it out the way early. Which is what makes it so scary, but which is also a good reason to try and enjoy being pregnant while you are.

Eastend2015 Thu 30-Nov-17 23:59:11

Same here 5.5 wks with DC2 after an ectopic and MMC. Every twinge is ever analysed. My EPU said they don’t normally do early scans once you’ve had a live birth but said just come in anyway and say you’ve had pain and they’ll do one for you. Sending big hugs!

Fakingit36 Fri 01-Dec-17 12:19:44

Sending a hug. I am also at 8.5. I feel rotten and it’s affecting my work so I have felt the need to tell a few people — which has produced nice support but also real stress about “what if it doesn’t stick.” Someone above said just think about the risk edging down every single day, every single time you don’t see any blood when in the bathroom. I’m holding onto that thought and trying to see every day ticked off as a victory. flowers

GrapesAreMyJam Fri 01-Dec-17 13:40:56

I had a missed miscarriage last year. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and still worrying all the time. I didn't have an early scan though as I had one last year at 8 weeks which showed a heartbeat and then miscarried at 12 weeks.

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