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People scaring me about the upcoming birth of my child!

(20 Posts)
Curioussness Tue 28-Nov-17 21:15:22

I mean my sisters! Whom both have had c-sections due to medical reasons and then chose to have elective c-sections for there second children.
I had a emergency section with my DD 5 years ago and now have opted for a VBAC and I am constantly being told it will ruin me and things won't be the same (down there) afterwards, I have 8 weeks to go and I'm shitting it.
They have no experience of a vaginal delivery either but is it that bad??

cakeymccakington Tue 28-Nov-17 21:17:32

Well I've had 4 vaginal births and people still want to shag me so it can't be that bad.

Honestly? It hurts like fuck. It's like nothing else you'll ever experience.

But it's so so worth it . I promise.

Believeitornot Tue 28-Nov-17 21:17:53

Aren’t your sisters lovely.

They do realise that having c sections doesn’t stop them from getting potential pelvic floor problems....

Most people have perfectly fine births. You’ll always hear horror stories as people love that.

My mum had 6 babies and only ever talked frankly and positively about childbirth. So I knew it wouldn’t be easy but knew it would be fine. As it was, yes I need stitches but I still feel happy about it all.

SonicBoomBoom Tue 28-Nov-17 21:19:16

Sometimes it's bad. Usually it's fine.

What do they mean by "ruin" you? Most people who have vaginal deliveries continue to have good and enjoyable sex after it, and have more children. So obviously it doesn't ruin them.

lolalotta Tue 28-Nov-17 21:21:33

I think it varies so much from birth to birth! I have two girls and the deliveries couldn't have been more different! I can't speak for others but my experience is that yes it flippin' hurts but I'm happy to have experienced it. After my first birth I felt like I'd climbed Mt. Everest! It felt like an amazing accomplishment!

Curioussness Tue 28-Nov-17 21:23:10

To be honest I would be so proud of myself if I manage to actually give birth naturally and I'm going to give it a good go.

squishysquirmy Tue 28-Nov-17 21:24:27

I had an epidural very early in my labour (for medical reasons it was given much earlier than normal) and although it was uncomfortable, I was never in severe pain.

For the pushing bit, I could feel enough to know when to push but it was honestly no more painful than doing a large poo.
I was sore after, and it stung when I weed but everything healed fine.
Nothing is "ruined".

Cat2lady Tue 28-Nov-17 21:24:35

If it 'ruined' women that badly then no one would ever have a second child!

Notsooriginalwerther Tue 28-Nov-17 21:25:13

Congratulations! Honestly it’s not that bad, you might tear or need to be cut but they’ll stitch you up and sometimes it does look a little different to before but unless your dp is eyeballing it regularly he wouldn’t notice the change smile

It hurts a lot and it’s knackering but if it was that horrific and all our vaginas looked like train wrecks after, then I doubt anyone would ever have a second. Do what’s right for you and your baby - if you’re planning on stopping at 2 then why not go for the VBAC knowing that if you need to have a CS you’ve been through it and you’ll be prepared smile good luck OP!

Abetes Tue 28-Nov-17 21:27:58

If it was as bad as your sisters are making out, women would only have one child. The very fact that most families have more two or more children means that it is manageable. It’s not a walk in the park but it fills you with a huge rush of achievement.

happygirly1 Tue 28-Nov-17 21:32:38

I really dislike it when people try to scare ladies about labour - as if we're not terrified enough already!

Vaginal birth here, including an episiotomy. Nothing 'ruined' wink

Don't you worry, lovely. It'll be hard, painful but OK and you get a kid out of it yay! grin

Orchidflower1 Tue 28-Nov-17 21:35:16

Not be mean to your dsis but have you thought they could be jealous. You've taken this very personal decision, which you've obviously thought about to do something that they will probably never get to do. Maybe jealous is the wrong word and a bit harsh but putting the heebie geebies into you is not helping. From a medical point of view your dr and midwife wouldn't let you do something that wasn't safe- not in an increasingly letitgious society. If you want it- go for it. Do your pelvic floor exercises and listen to your body and midwife at time of delivery. Good luck and remember a safe , healthy baby is the main thing however they enter the world.

PeaceLoveAndDixie Tue 28-Nov-17 21:35:20

I’ve had four vaginal deliveries. My experiences were all similar- in an approx 8hr labour, it’s only the last hour or so that is super painful, and even then you are only contracting every 3 minutes. Contractions build up and then fade so it’s only the middle 30seconds that are bad. 20 contractions an hour x 30seconds = 10 minutes of agony. You can do it!

greendale17 Tue 28-Nov-17 21:37:09

I wished people had been more open and brutal about labour before I had my DC.

CJCreggsGoldfish Tue 28-Nov-17 21:38:37

I had a c section with my first, and then a vaginal delivery with an episiotomy for my second. Don't get me wrong, the episiotomy was sore afterwards, but recovery was quicker than with c section, and I would opt for natural if I had a third. Everything is back to normal too!

ICanNeverThinkOfAGoodUsrname Tue 28-Nov-17 21:40:36

Not be mean to your dsis but have you thought they could be jealous

This is what I was thinking too.

I just can't imagine why you'd want to be hurtful or cause your own sister upset/distress unnecessarily at this time?!

OP, ignore them, like others have said, if it was that bad people wouldn't have multiple births.

Curioussness Tue 28-Nov-17 21:47:10

Thank you all for sharing your stories, it does give me hope and I'm so determined to do it and I just hope it goes well, I got to 6-7cm last time and then got rushed in for the emergency c section, I also got induced and it was very painful sad

RockinRobinTweets Tue 28-Nov-17 21:50:14

Good luck... it is all down to luck really, nothing much you can do about it! I was very lucky to have a quick vaginal delivery and I can still sneeze without needing new pants <stealth boast> but I didn’t do anything to deserve it!

rachelracket Tue 28-Nov-17 22:42:58

i had a vaginal birth and an episiotomy 7 months ago and i was up and running within 5 weeks. no problem! birth was scary but i'd do it again tomorrow!

scruffysquirrel Fri 01-Dec-17 20:43:52

It does hurt like fuck!! It was pain like nothing I ever could have imagined- that's not to scare you it's just the honest truth.
I wish someone had told me how painful it would be, I was traumatised and kept thinking something must be wrong.
Everyone I spoke to said "oh giving birth is fine" "one born every minute isn't accurate" "if it was that bad people wouldn't have multiple children". Bollocks! I'm ttc #2 even though I had a horrific 3rd degree tear that was just shy of a 4th. Had surgery afterwards and lost a dangerous amount of blood... I still couldn't take a shit without agony and blood loss 6 months after birth.
BUT it was so worth it. I'd do it a thousand times over to have my little one, I really would.
So in a nutshell, it's fucking agonising but fucking amazing at the same time. Once they put your gorgeous little bub on your chest after all that pushing it's all good.
You'll be amazing op, I'm sure. Good luck!

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