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When did you tell dc 1 about pregnancy?

(15 Posts)
Ekphrasis Sun 19-Nov-17 07:11:03

My ds is almost 5 and I’m 15 weeks. I’ve had harmony test etc and all are clear but obviously 20 week scan will be clearer on any other issues. (I had two mc this year plus I’m 40 so am edgy )

I just wondered what people’s experiences were telling dcs about second babies, when, how etc. He’s desperate for a baby but I feel it might be better to wait till there’s more of me to see?

Every morning he’s asking when we will be getting a baby...!

MulhuddartDrive Sun 19-Nov-17 07:25:56

As late as possible! Dd is 5 and can just about cope with Christmas being 6(?) weeks away, so properly big news like that would have us all driven barmy.

Best of luck with you're pregnancy.

AKP79 Sun 19-Nov-17 07:48:50

Hi - I’m undecided about this too. I’m 39, history of Mmc, DS is 6 in Jan and is desperate for a sibling. I was planning to tell him after our 12 week scan. I realise there’s still a possibility that things could go wrong, but due to our history of miscarriages I have told close friends I’m pregnant and I’m so worried someone may say something in front of DS that I’d like it to come from us.

I also feel after 2 traumatic mmc which my DS didn’t know about, he’s very sensitive and picked up on a lot of emotions. We’re a very open family and if something further down the line something happened then I would want to share it as a family. Obviously in a very age appropriate way.

Hulaballoo Sun 19-Nov-17 07:57:43

I have the same decision to make, DDs 9 and 7! I'm 7 weeks though. Someone once wrote in a post, they told their dc as soon as... And said babies don't always stick, but wanted everyone to know. I like that idea that sometimes babies don't stick but I'm still going to wait... Initially I thought of telling them first at about 10 weeks, then the family but with 1mmc ands a MC before I just feel I need to wait longer... Maybe 12-14 weeks because I think I'll show and they'll just guess.... Argh it's so tricky! With my first I think we told Dd when I was about 16 weeks

usernamegoeshere Sun 19-Nov-17 08:05:09

My dd is 4, we are going to wait as long as possible! But we live in a small village, so my worry is that someone else will say something if we don't! Currently 12 weeks, and hoping to wait until 20 week scan if we can.

LML83 Sun 19-Nov-17 08:13:45

we have a similar age gap. I waited as long as I could because if I did have a miscarriage I didn't want to have to explain/comfort DD. Only our parents and siblings knew and we were around 17/18weeks when we told dd.

We also pretended she was the first to know blush

She still found it a long wait!

daydreamnation Sun 19-Nov-17 08:14:38

My dd was almost 4 when I had ds. I waited as long as possible, I certainly don't understand why anyone would mention it until both scans are done and any possible problems are eliminated.
I was around 27 weeks I think, I used to bath with dd every evening and my tummy was fairly huge and she still didn't have a clue! I remember her washing my growing bump and my ds wriggling around and she thought I had a trapped 'fart' grin
It worked really well for her, she was very excited and I can't imagine how we would have managed that for 9 months, it was difficult enough for 3.
3 months is a long long time in a young child's life!
I work in foundation and I was recently asked by a parent if they could take their dd out of school for the afternoon, to come to her 12 week scan. I was polite but totally taken aback by her request! Madness!

dramallamakarma Sun 19-Nov-17 08:36:21

We told DC1 at 12 weeks but would definitely wait longer, she’s 4. I’m now 38 weeks and it’s been such a long time for her to hang on.

PandaCat Sun 19-Nov-17 08:45:32

We told DD1 (5.5) after we had the first scan, I was 13 weeks. I don't think she believed us though.

I'm 24 weeks now, she is more excited since we found out it's another girl and often talks about 'when the baby is here' and how she can't wait for her sister to be here.

yikesanotherbooboo Sun 19-Nov-17 09:01:02

We told DC aged 9 and 7 after the 12 week scan. Dc aged 9 had guessed !
If I had younger children I would put it off for as long as possible due to their poor understanding of time. I would tell them before it became common knowledge though so that they didn’t hear from someone else.

mumof1000s Sun 19-Nov-17 09:04:06

For those saying after 20 week scan how would you explain the bump?

UtterlyRainbowed Sun 19-Nov-17 09:08:05

I told mine the week of my due date. I ended up being slightly over two weeks late. DC1 was 3 at the time x

daydreamnation Sun 19-Nov-17 09:16:16

mumof1000s I really don't know! It was fairly well hidden during the day (I was pregnant through the winter) and my bump was fairly small until it exploded around 30 weeks. She did notice it during bath time but as I said previously she never realised what it was, at almost 4 she just didn't twig!
She's 16 now and thinks it's hilarious that she didn't notice!

GlitteryFluff Sun 19-Nov-17 09:30:58

I have a 3yo and we told him as soon as we started telling family members which was way before 12 weeks. Which looking back is so silly. Luckily so far everything is fine. I'm 32 weeks now and it's been a looooong pregnancy to him I bet.
I would have kept it as long as possible but if telling other family members it gets a bit difficult because the last thing you want is someone to slip up or ask him about it before you've told him.

Ekphrasis Sun 19-Nov-17 10:40:32

Thanks all!

I think the waiting is going to be tough for him. I’m inclined to wait till after the 20 weeks scan but dithering. He has his birthday, then Xmas and the scan is just before then so perhaps after Xmas....!

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