Hi - I’m undecided about this too. I’m 39, history of Mmc, DS is 6 in Jan and is desperate for a sibling. I was planning to tell him after our 12 week scan. I realise there’s still a possibility that things could go wrong, but due to our history of miscarriages I have told close friends I’m pregnant and I’m so worried someone may say something in front of DS that I’d like it to come from us.
I also feel after 2 traumatic mmc which my DS didn’t know about, he’s very sensitive and picked up on a lot of emotions. We’re a very open family and if something further down the line something happened then I would want to share it as a family. Obviously in a very age appropriate way.
I have the same decision to make, DDs 9 and 7! I'm 7 weeks though. Someone once wrote in a post, they told their dc as soon as... And said babies don't always stick, but wanted everyone to know. I like that idea that sometimes babies don't stick but I'm still going to wait... Initially I thought of telling them first at about 10 weeks, then the family but with 1mmc ands a MC before I just feel I need to wait longer... Maybe 12-14 weeks because I think I'll show and they'll just guess.... Argh it's so tricky! With my first I think we told Dd when I was about 16 weeks
My dd is 4, we are going to wait as long as possible! But we live in a small village, so my worry is that someone else will say something if we don't! Currently 12 weeks, and hoping to wait until 20 week scan if we can.
we have a similar age gap. I waited as long as I could because if I did have a miscarriage I didn't want to have to explain/comfort DD. Only our parents and siblings knew and we were around 17/18weeks when we told dd.
My dd was almost 4 when I had ds. I waited as long as possible, I certainly don't understand why anyone would mention it until both scans are done and any possible problems are eliminated. I was around 27 weeks I think, I used to bath with dd every evening and my tummy was fairly huge and she still didn't have a clue! I remember her washing my growing bump and my ds wriggling around and she thought I had a trapped 'fart' It worked really well for her, she was very excited and I can't imagine how we would have managed that for 9 months, it was difficult enough for 3. 3 months is a long long time in a young child's life! I work in foundation and I was recently asked by a parent if they could take their dd out of school for the afternoon, to come to her 12 week scan. I was polite but totally taken aback by her request! Madness!
We told DC aged 9 and 7 after the 12 week scan. Dc aged 9 had guessed ! If I had younger children I would put it off for as long as possible due to their poor understanding of time. I would tell them before it became common knowledge though so that they didn’t hear from someone else.
mumof1000s I really don't know! It was fairly well hidden during the day (I was pregnant through the winter) and my bump was fairly small until it exploded around 30 weeks. She did notice it during bath time but as I said previously she never realised what it was, at almost 4 she just didn't twig! She's 16 now and thinks it's hilarious that she didn't notice!
I have a 3yo and we told him as soon as we started telling family members which was way before 12 weeks. Which looking back is so silly. Luckily so far everything is fine. I'm 32 weeks now and it's been a looooong pregnancy to him I bet. I would have kept it as long as possible but if telling other family members it gets a bit difficult because the last thing you want is someone to slip up or ask him about it before you've told him.
I think the waiting is going to be tough for him. I’m inclined to wait till after the 20 weeks scan but dithering. He has his birthday, then Xmas and the scan is just before then so perhaps after Xmas....!