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1st pregnancy 2 possible fathers

(64 Posts)
2009lisa Sat 18-Nov-17 12:14:24

Im looking for help not criticism or negativity..
Ive just found out im pregnant after being told it would be difficult to concieve because of pcos ive been waiting for an appointment to have a diagnostic lap and dye put through my tubes..
I was with my partner 10 months we were both aware of me not being on the pill and was aware of the chances of pregnancy..
We recently split and i slept with sum1 else and now stands the question who is the father??
Details... because of my pcos i never have regular periods they can go from every month to 3 months apart there is never a definite amount of time my cycle is..
I had my period on the 9th of oct then with my partner dad#1 we had sex the 18th/19th/22nd/23rd/24th oct we then ended i met another guy possible dad#2 and slept with him the 29th just the once...
I found out yesterday i was pregnant and docs saying 5 weeks and 3 days... that dont help with working out who is the dad.
Can anyone help?

Wolfiefan Sat 18-Nov-17 12:15:31

Nobody here can give you a definitive answer. You would need a DNA test to be absolutely certain.

Lozmatoz Sat 18-Nov-17 12:18:03

It could be either, sorry. Was it unprotected with both men?

If it was so close together and you don’t know when you were ovulating there’s no way to tell. Even when you have your dating scan at 12 weeks it’s unlikely to help. Sorry can hang around in there for a few days so you really can’t be exact.

Lozmatoz Sat 18-Nov-17 12:18:33


PrincessPlod Sat 18-Nov-17 12:18:40

Are you in contact with both potential fathers? Tell both and see what happens, no doubt they will want to know for sure and pay for DNA test. I think your ex partner is more likely to be the father but who knows.

2009lisa Sat 18-Nov-17 12:21:23

I know that.. im not looking for a definite answer just sum advice about what is more likely as dont understand cycles and things

Lozmatoz Sat 18-Nov-17 12:25:17

Neither or more or less likely if you had unprotected sex with both.

NaturWilde Sat 18-Nov-17 12:25:45

You can take a pre-natal paternity test from around 9 weeks, and find out around 2-3 weeks later.

Wolfiefan Sat 18-Nov-17 12:27:27

Nobody can tell you. Tell them and test. That's the only advice.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 18-Nov-17 12:28:38

How can the doctors have given you such a precise date if you found out yesterday? Have you already been scanned? It's really not an exact art that early...

If 5+3 is right, then you would have ovulated on 25th October, so first man more likely than second. I really don't think you can know at this point, though.

Foodylicious Sat 18-Nov-17 12:33:13

How did they date the pregnancy?

2009lisa Sat 18-Nov-17 12:34:13

Just from my last period is how she dated it

BabyDreams2018 Sat 18-Nov-17 12:34:49

You need to do a DNA test to determine who the father is. No one can tell you without a test.

2009lisa Sat 18-Nov-17 12:35:15

Where can i get the prenatel test as the nhs website say they dont do it?

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 18-Nov-17 12:35:26

Oh, then that means absolutely nothing and you have absolutely no way of telling.

2009lisa Sat 18-Nov-17 12:54:28

will having a scan give me a more clearer date of when I concieved?

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 18-Nov-17 12:56:57

Be honest with your mw - she won't judge you, she may be able to give a better idea after a scan but obviously won't be a definite answer.
Don't be too hard on yourself.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 18-Nov-17 12:57:30

There's a reason they do the dating scan at 12ish weeks, but even then it can't tell you exactly - women who know their exact date of conception (eg. women who conceived through IVF) often get told slightly different dates at scan. You're unlikely to ever be able to 100% determine this from dates, you need a DNA test.

SleepFreeZone Sat 18-Nov-17 12:59:38

Having a scan will definitely help as it will date the pregnancy.

Wolfiefan Sat 18-Nov-17 12:59:48

You need a DNA test. You may well have to pay.

Hauntedlobster Sat 18-Nov-17 13:07:30

This comes up on here on a regular basis. You won’t jnow until you get some form of dna testing. It’s just the way it is. The dates are too close to be sure otherwise.

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 18-Nov-17 13:07:54

Having a scan will definitely help as it will date the pregnancy.

This may well not be true. She had sex with the two men only five days apart (sorry, OP, that's not supposed to sound judgy, just to be a statement of fact!) so depending on where the dates fall there's very likely to be grey area where it is more likely to be one or the other, but not certain.

2009lisa Sat 18-Nov-17 13:08:27

thanks everyone for your help just trying to get a bit more help as doing this alone and have no idea of anything literally still shocked that I'm even pregnant after being told it was gonna be very difficult.. saw the doc they wouldn't even check I was pregnant just took my word sent me out to book a midwife appointment in 4 weeks and its all just left me a tad overwhelmed.. I don't understand any of it at the moment but I guess my midwife will help with that

LisaSimpsonsbff Sat 18-Nov-17 13:09:46

I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed, and hope you have someone to talk to in real life, too. Definitely tell your midwife when you get that far - don't worry that they'll be judgemental, they're a professional and should just want to help.

pinkyredrose Sat 18-Nov-17 13:12:06

You may have thought pregnancy was unlikely but have you heard of STIs? Have some respect for yourself and use a condom next time.

And no, no way of telling who's the father.

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