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Trying for our first baby

(20 Posts)
Raf121 Sat 11-Nov-17 15:54:39

Hi everyone!
My partner and i have been TTC for a little while, although up until now its been quite... relaxed. We had the mentality that 'it will happen when it happens'.... but so far nothing.

I have been off my contraception since March, and since then we have both stopped drinking and stopped smoking... completely! Which i am really proud of both of us for.

We have made the decision to start taking it a bit more seriously... aim for the most fertile days, and to change parts of our diet.

There is a vast amount of information online about what should and shouldnt be eaten, does anyone know what is a definite no? And any suggestions on main things we should be aiming for?

Thanks!

thingymaboob Sat 11-Nov-17 16:06:00

I would repost this in the "conception" forum as there are loads of helpful threads on there for people trying to conceive

Misslemon01 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:07:02

I’d just make sure to have sex every day (if you can manage!) or every other day around the estimated ovulation date. If you can’t manage every day, aim for before rather than after, as sperm can stay alive longer than the little egg can.

I’d also start taking folic acid if you haven’t already. The midwife told me (I’m 17 weeks) women should start taking it when TTC, and all through pregnancy.

Massive well done on quitting smoking and drinking! smile you’ll get there, it’s really normal to just take a little while, especially if you’ve been ‘relaxed’ about it!

cherryontopp Sat 11-Nov-17 16:10:05

Hi OP.

If you've been casually trying for 8 month and there's been no success thwn yes start actively trying. Track cycles and ovulation.
I know other people will say differently but don't put your life on hold. Cut down on alcohol, don't stop it entirely. Keep at a healthy BMI but over do it.
I put my life on hold for 3 years and I turns out I had low egg reserve. Nothing that not drinking and a healthy diet could help with it.
Good luck

Raf121 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:12:41

Everywhere seems to say that diet is really important, and there are some things we shouldnt be having but everything is so contradictive as to what!

MaisyPops Sat 11-Nov-17 16:14:58

We started like you and were very much 'if it happens it happens'. But a 6 monyhs in we've realised maybe a busy lifestyle meant we werent having sex at the right time enough.

We are over a year in and about to try using predictor kits and i've got the mydays app

If we were starting again now then I'd get mydays app sooner and aim for the right days a bit more.

FellOutOfBed2wice Sat 11-Nov-17 16:16:41

Hi OP

I started trying casually for DD1 in March 2013. Had been using a Mirena as contraception for 5yrs before that. My cycles were up and down and it got to September and nothing had happened. Had a course of acupuncture and Chinese herbs via a Chinese doctor that was recommended to me, got pregnant that month. When it came to getting pregnant again with DD2 I decided to start the herbs again preemptively and I got pregnant the first month of trying. May have been a coincidence but I would say it’s worth a shot. If you happen to be in East/North East London I can recommend someone.

Raf121 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:24:42

Thanks MaisyPops ill have a go with that app!
I think we just thought it would sort of happen, and ive been on here for a few days and have realised it just isnt as easy as people think

CL1982 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:42:29

My husband and I only got pregnant with targeted sex-boring but we just weren't a couple who could have sex the week before I ovulated and nail it smile I had x3 mcs so we got pretty good at hitting 'the mark' in the end!!

Track your temps (or just buy an Ava bracelet and let it do the work for you!!) and use preseed lube. Every other day up until you get a pattern to your chart is super too and I would also recommend try ovulation strips (5 for £1 in Poundland) when you're on about day 11 after your period starts. Just remember to use second morning urine on a hold smile Any advice v happy for you to PM me!

Ava bracelet is as I said an expensive but brainless way to 'time' things!!

JoJoSM2 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:43:53

Diet-wise, you’ll best prepare for pregnancy if you have 8+ of your 5 a day and a generally balanced diet with wholegrains, healthy fats and sufficient protein. Same for sperm health. You can have a look at the Eat well plate or food pyramid. Also take some vits. Folic acid and vit D as a minimum but it’s probably easier just to have Pregnacare + omega 3.

In terms of tracking ovulation, it might help but equally it might not if your cycles are very regular and there’s no other cause for concern re ovulation.

JoJoSM2 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:47:09

PS if you do decide to track your ovulation, I’d recommend the Clear Blue digital and testing at lunch time. Because it’s digital, it leaves no room for confusion or interpretation of results.

MaisyPops Sat 11-Nov-17 16:50:29

jojo 8+ fruit an veg!
I only manage 4 on a good day and have my conception vitamin.

How do you get 8 a day?!

Raf121 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:53:46

I had planned to do a test tomorrow (i have no self control when it comes to this) haha. Due AF on 17th according to the mydays app. I should test with the second wee? Ive always been told the first

turquoise88 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:58:20

OP I would also recommend the Ovia app to track your fertility.

I’ve never been a ‘see how it goes’ kind of person and started tracking from the first month, fell pregnant first month with DC1 and second month with DC2 just by having sex on the ‘right days.’ I appreciate that it isn’t always this easy for everyone, but think it’s worth trying if you haven’t got anywhere so far.

Raf121 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:08:14

I think im gonna start planning it a bit better. I was very naive to think it might be easier than it is

JoJoSM2 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:09:17

For pregnancy you test with first wee, Ovulation prediction kits are best used at lunchtime.

MaisyPops, the five a day might be barely sufficient for a sedentary tiny granny. Most people need 8-10+. It's pretty easy to get. For example: berries with porridge for breakfast, largish side salad with lunch + apple, snack on carrot/peas for podding etc and with dinner, e.g. Sweet potatoes + broccoli + glass tom juice and a piece of fruit for desert. That's 8 portions of fruit and veg in total.

MaisyPops Sat 11-Nov-17 17:14:03

I was always under the impression that the 5 a day thinh was an arbitrary but memorable number.
I exercise regularly and don't eat junk but don't do well gettijg the veg in.

I might look into making breakfast pots with yoghurt and berries to take to work instead of my just add water porridge pots.

AnUtterIdiot Sat 11-Nov-17 17:24:29

The advice often given is to have sex every other day from the end of your period to the start of the next. We're not that energetic grin so we had to target the window. I used Clearblue digital ovulation sticks (the ones that give you 4+ fertile days) and tested every day with my first wee of the day from the end of my period every month to catch the beginning of the fertile window (NB it is worth doing this as we found I was ovulating a couple of days earlier than we had expected and we were missing the window). Then in the afternoons I would test again using an internet cheapie as I found they were better at catching the surge you get before ovulation - that surge happens midmorning or later for many women and I sometimes didn't get the fixed smiley face on the Clearblue sticks at all so it was worth doing.

I found basal temp etc too much of a faff and always forgot to take it before I'd got out of bed. But I did keep an eye on my cervical mucus as well.

I did also buy "Taking Charge of your Fertility" which is a massive comprehensive book that people swear by. Such is the power of this tome that I got a BFP literally hours after it arrived on the mat and before I had even opened it grin

JessieMcJessie Sat 11-Nov-17 17:25:57

Good luck. If you’re under 30 you can be a lot more relaxed, I think that the number one aid to conception is being relaxed and not under stress. If you enjoy a drink then don’t go mad with the teetotalling, many a baby is the result of a few glasses of wine. Plenty time for teetotalling when you are up the duff.

NB folic acid doesn’t aid conception as such but is mega important to prevent neural tube defects in a developing baby and the advicebis that you should have it in your system several months before getting pregnant. OPK strips are very good. Taking temperatures only works if you are the type of person who likes recording everything on spreadsheets, keeping that much data can make you a bit obsessive.

AnUtterIdiot Sat 11-Nov-17 17:29:03

I took folic acid (check if you need the larger dose) and they recommend vitamin D as well. I didn't take a pregnancy multivitamin but actually would recommend that people do - I am expecting twins and the demands they place on your resources are considerable. Basically they get what they need because as far as your body is concerned your needs are entirely secondary to the baby's! So you need to make sure you have enough in to look after yourself too.

Drink plenty of water and eat lots of fruit and veg. I went easy-ish on booze but personally did not bother to limit or cut out anything until I got my BFP. If you're anxious about foods you can have a look at the NHS website which tells you what you should avoid during pregnancy.

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