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How am I going to hide this?

(14 Posts)
ReverseGiraffe Mon 06-Nov-17 10:39:36

Currently 5 weeks with DC2. I'm so nauseous all the time and I think it's only a matter of time before I'm really, really sick.
Colleagues are already commenting that I look unwell.
There's talk of redundancies at the moment and "getting rid of the weakest links".
My record so far is spotless, but I think if it comes out that I'm pregnant, they'll look for excuses to get rid of me.
Any tips on how to hide this as long as possible? I'm getting really stressed about it!

NamasteNiki Mon 06-Nov-17 10:42:19

Tell your employer. Now.

A friend of mine had a colleague who was signed off sick for weeks and no one knew why. Then everyone was told eventually she was 14 weeks pregnant and had had severe morning sickness.

There was talk of laying off people back then but she seems to be still there months later.

They can sign you off and you may be more protected.

Congrats flowers

furryelephant Mon 06-Nov-17 10:43:58

Yes, I’d also tell them. If they tried to let you go knowing you were pregnant but had a spotless record you may well have case for discrimination I think!

TheCatsMother99 Mon 06-Nov-17 10:44:33

Don't hide it! Tell your employer ASAP.

EastDulwichWife Mon 06-Nov-17 10:53:49

Tell them! They can't discriminate if they know. Tell your boss, then HR.

PinkHeart5914 Mon 06-Nov-17 10:56:44

Well if your ill what choice do you have but to tell them?

If/when the sickness gets bad, you won’t be able to hide it.

katmarie Mon 06-Nov-17 11:14:35

I agree with the other posters, tell them straight away. Your pregnancy will provide a degree of protection that you won’t have if you’re suddenly just off sick or coming in late due to sickness. Someone with a dodgy sickness record might be first in line for redundancy, (even though that isn’t necessarily right either) but with pregnancy there are more hoops for your employer to jump through in proving they need to make you redundant over someone else.

Appuskidu Mon 06-Nov-17 11:16:20

they'll look for excuses to get rid of me

They can't if they know you're pregnant. You do hbe rights!

Hannabee123 Mon 06-Nov-17 11:17:12

They can still make you redundant if you tell them or not. I would keep it to yourself atleast for a couple more weeks. Employers can find ways of being legal arseholes.

TittyGolightly Mon 06-Nov-17 11:19:04

Rights of pregnant employees in redundancy situations are far higher than for other employees. Doesn’t mean they can’t dismiss for other reasons, but if it’s a true redundancy situation you’re better off declaring it. You may be asked for proof though.

PJsAndProsecco Mon 06-Nov-17 13:21:57

Aside from the legal side of it (i.e. your employer can't make you redundant for being a "weak link" because you are pregnant), I'd tell them just to help yourself. I am 7 weeks now and I told my manager right away, and I've also chosen to tell my office team. There's 5 of us in an office and I didn't want to bother pretending to them that I feel okay! In my first pregnancy I hid it for weeks and it was the most draining thing in the world pretending to feel fine all day. I used to get to my car at the end of the day and cry! I didn't want to do that this time around, I'd rather people know I feel like a bag of crap...

It is only them that know, we're a small team but I'm glad I don't have to pretend I'm fine!

ArkadyRose Mon 06-Nov-17 14:14:28

You should tell them - not only because of the morning sickness, but also because you are entitled to time off for antenatal appointments - such as your booking-in appointment with the midwife if you haven't already had it, and time off for scans.

Phryne Mon 06-Nov-17 14:29:15

I can understand why you're worried. I hid my pregnancy until 32 weeks as I was temping and knew I'd be vulnerable. I have friends who have been made redundant on mat leave and others who reckon they were saved by their bump so it can go either way. You need to do what's best for you. I'd contact maternity action or the cab or similar - here are some contact numbers www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnant/pregnant-at-work/

Hope it goes well!

ReverseGiraffe Mon 06-Nov-17 19:41:53

Thanks for all your messages. I feel a bit better about it all now. I'm going to have a chat with my line manager next week I think.

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