Hi all I need some advice We have our 12 week scan next week, and when we told my mother in law the date, (she works at the hospital) she said she would try and Work near maternity that day. I assumed only so she could see us after the scan. Only now she has said ‘oh I hope I’m not busy so I can come into the scan with you’ - neither of us asked her to come in, she just assumed she can and has invited herself along. I did tell her that our letter says strictly only one person to come with you, but she followed up with well maybe they’ll let me in as I work at the hospital. I did want it to be just me and hubby at the scan as it’s our first baby and wanted us to do it alone. What are the odds that they will let her in the room when she asks?? I’m hoping they don’t let her in 😩😩
The sonographer and other staff in the scanning suite will respect your wishes if you let them know the issue.
And may I be the first to say you don't have a Mil problem so much as a dh problem - dh is the only one who can draw boundaries that will be respected - if you try to do it you could get painted as the wicked meanie trying to keep a doting grandma from her lovely grandkids. This needs to be nipped in the bud right now, it will only get worse.
In some respects I think that’s lovely that she wants to be part of the pregnancy BUT I completely understand, for my nhs scans it was just myself and DP but for a few private cans I took my own mum and dad but never DP parents. You need to have a chat with your DH and just say you think it would be a good idea for him to explain to him mum that although you’re both grateful she’s so excited it’s a really big moment for you two as parents be you’d like to have that moment as a couple she should understand, maybe follow up with as soon as you’re done you’ll meet her at hospital maybe grab a coffee if she’s got a break and show her your pictures?
Good luck with it all, have a lovely time at your scan and congratulations!!
Thank you everyone for the advice. I know deep down we need to tell her but I just don’t want to be painted as the bad guy! But I agree this needs nipping in the bud as it will only get worse. Yes my mum and I are very close so I think she would be very hurt if MIL went and she didn’t so that’s what I will say, that it’s unfair and we wanted it to be just us two. Thank you everyone xx
If she gets rude and asks what the obvious reasons are say (slightly aghast she had to ask) that 'it's a very personal and special moment for s couple and additionally if there was something wrong you wouldn't want other people there'.
She is being weird and intrusive. You don't need to do anything. It's your DHs responsibility to tell her that you BOTH want it to be just the two of you. Neither my mum or MIL wouldn't dream of coming along unless invited. Get your DH to sort it.