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What if I can't do the NCT classes?

(90 Posts)
FrostyPopThePenguinLord Fri 27-Oct-17 20:14:40

First baby due in early March, I'm having a C section and we were thinking the other day that we have absolutely no idea how to actually keep a child alive.
We know we feed it and change it etc, but how often, how much, when are things supposed to happen, we are having a bit of a flap because all the baby books are alarmingly vague and don't want to commit to specific instructions as such.
So I looked up NCT classes in our area, the only one available in the time we have left is a 19 hour course. 2 thirds of which focuses on labour and delivey. We thought fine, lets do that and just zone out the stuff that doesn't apply to our case, no problem.....then my husband saw how much it costs....he said hell no. Not paying that much to sit there and the majority of the stuff not be relevant.
I see where he is coming from and I do agree....however I have much younger siblings and helped with their care slightly so I at least can change a nappy and hold a baby properly etc.....he is an only child and has never even held a baby in his life. I'm worried that we won't cope without some instruction.
We are not poor by any means but he is incredibly careful with money and we are also saving up for a house deposit, so he refuses to spend that much on a third of a course. I can't blame him, I'm on sick pay due to hyperemis so money is a bit tighter than usual, plus Christmas and many birthdays coming up for our huge families. Plus lots of baby stuff still to buy, although we are being thrifty with that as far as possible.
I can't find any free courses in the area, we are not entitled to any benefits and to be honest I'm probably looking in the wrong place. I'm planning to ask my midwife for more info at my 25 week chec, but I know courses can fill up fast. We are not adverse to paying at all, but just not that much for so much time that won't be useful to us.
We just want a crash course in child care. I'm as well versed as I can be about C sections and childbirth without actually having had one yet so the birth part isn't our priority. She might also be born a bit early due to potential placenta issues so we are aware time could be a factor.

Does anyone know of any types of class in the Somerset/Dorset area that are not NCT or heavily childbirth based. As I said I'll ask my midwife but it's just one less thing to worry about.

dementedpixie Fri 27-Oct-17 20:16:29

ours were nhs classes. Have never done nct ones

sinruff Fri 27-Oct-17 20:18:40

I did NCT classes knowing I was having a c section and still found them really useful. The leader tailored what she could to c sections and I made some great friends so I would recommend anyway. Good luck

FrostyPopThePenguinLord Fri 27-Oct-17 20:33:19

So there is such thing as an NHS class? I can't find anything online about them, I keep getting referred to the NCT.
I have no objection to the classes or the content as such, I'd like to make friends as well, it's just a lot of money straight after a busy Christmas and we are trying to save as much as we can, and my husband isn't keen as it's expensive for what we would get out of it.
I make him sound really tight, but he works hard and is very stressed about supporting us.

FrostyPopThePenguinLord Fri 27-Oct-17 20:35:14

He also won't buy anything he can't afford outright. No finance or credit cards for us (a mortgage is the only exception). So even paying in instalments he would refuse. He will not live beyond his means.

OlennasWimple Fri 27-Oct-17 20:37:53

Talk to your midwife about NHS classes - she will know what courses are offered in your area

FWIW DS came early, after we had only had one antenatal class. We've managed to keep him alive for 12 years and counting

didireallysaythat Fri 27-Oct-17 20:38:10

Ask your midwife - mine ran the NHS classes. Only a few hours and gives you the bare basics. Only had 1 hour covering birth (she says they'd be somewhere in the room who would know about it and she was right!).

BexleyRae Fri 27-Oct-17 20:39:39

I too was clueless about babies, however a lot of it is surprisingly common sense and you just sort of know what to do iyswim. There was no way I could afford the nct classes, my midwife gave me info on nhs classes at one of my checks. They were ok, and a good place to ask questions

koalab Fri 27-Oct-17 20:40:57

I did a 2 hour NHS class that covered basic care of a baby (nothing I couldn't have worked out myself). I got more info from books and my mum. And it amazed me how much your natural instinct kicks in.

flingingmelon Fri 27-Oct-17 20:41:27

TBH if your local NCT is like mine was, you’ll learn lots about labour and almost nothing about looking after a baby.

I learnt everything here 😊

Thegiantofillinois Fri 27-Oct-17 20:44:13

I went on a 2 hour nhs one, but learned most of it from the internet. I made friends at baby groups.

Applesandpears23 Fri 27-Oct-17 20:44:42

There are loads of videos on youtube you can watch. There are also some on the nhs website. Get a plastic doll and let him practice bathing, holding and changing a nappy.

Needadvicetoleave Fri 27-Oct-17 20:44:57

Not is more about labour and making friends. I didn't find them particularly useful but the friends I made have been great!

thepatchworkcat Fri 27-Oct-17 20:45:13

Having done both NCT and NHS antenatal classes, neither really covered looking after the baby, (except for info on breastfeeding and nothing on bottlefeeding hmm) - they were all about childbirth in my experience.

flingingmelon Fri 27-Oct-17 20:45:27

I think you can still sign up to NCT baby groups that you don’t need to be a member to go to. They definitely have them where we are and I see lots of adverts for them on local mum and baby Facebook groups. If you join some of them you should be able to plug into services in your local community. The local children’s centre will possibly hold new mums groups - or direct you to one. They are fantastic things for learning how to look after babies.

Good luck OP! flowers

BabyOrSanta Fri 27-Oct-17 20:46:21

You could also check at your local Surestart centre - our's run classes that are advertised on the notice board there and on their Facebook page

RuncibleSp00n Fri 27-Oct-17 20:56:03

Myself and DH did our local NHS evening antenatal classes and loved them. Made good friends with all the other couples, who we had lots in common with, and stayed friends for years.
The NCT ubiquity seems a recent MC trend, but is definitely not a necessity! Your local hospital or midwife-led unit will deliver antenatal classes which are perfectly fine. No need at all to follow the herd and shell-out to go private.

Oysterbabe Fri 27-Oct-17 21:10:56

Honestly you'll figure it out. They let you know when they're hungry.

Threenme Fri 27-Oct-17 21:16:08

You really don't need classes op! You feed them, burp them, change them or cuddle them when they cry... that's it! Midwife will explain safe sleeping etc on home visit and mw/ hv visit for weeks after so there's always someone to ask. It's common sense- save your money!

eurochick Fri 27-Oct-17 21:21:42

My daughter was prem. We were booked into classes that started a week after she arrived. We haven't broken her yet! Neither of us knew anything about babies - had never changed a nappy, etc.

Marmite27 Fri 27-Oct-17 21:25:47

We did an nhs class called preparation for birth and beyond.

Tbh we didn’t find out anything we didn’t already know, but it was nice to be familiar with the local children’s centre and several years on 6 of the families are still friends (10 couples on the course).

Kintan Fri 27-Oct-17 21:33:54

The NCT class content I didn’t find all that great. It really focussed on natural birth, and our whole class ended up having c sections. However the friends I made there have been invaluable. Assuming you’ll be the one on parental leave, I would urge your husband to reconsider. Being a new mother can be quite isolating and if you do the nct (or any other ante natal class) you will have ‘bought’ yourself a network of people in a similar situation. Also don’t you have joint say in how your finances are spent?

AppleKatie Fri 27-Oct-17 21:37:48

NCT run postnatal courses that tend to be cheaper and obviously don't cover the birth.

That said I went into my NCT classes knowing I was having a section and still found it useful, and don't underestimate the gaining a support network thing. I'm rubbish at making friends and made brilliant ones through NCT.

codswallopandbalderdash Fri 27-Oct-17 21:39:13

I much preferred my NHS antenatal class to the NCT one I did. We were a diverse group but gelled in a way the NCT class didn't.

Closetlibrarian Fri 27-Oct-17 21:41:57

Seriously, anything you learn in a pre-natal course you will anyway have forgotten by the time the baby arrives. Parenting really is a 'learn on the job' type of thing. You figure it out as you go along. They're actually pretty simple to keep alive at the beginning. Feed them regularly. Don't smother them. Etc smile.

We didn't do NCT (by choice) and my DC have made it to 4 and 2 relatively unscathed! We did do the NHS one, but I can't remember that we actually learnt anything useful.

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