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Unhealthily obsessed after miscarriage

(5 Posts)
phoeberosemoores Mon 23-Oct-17 13:43:33

Hey guys,

I'm just trying to make sense of feelings I don't even understand. Not too long ago I discovered I was pregnant, it was unplanned and a massive shock and a total emotional rollercoaster. After many a long chat and hysterical sob with my OH we decided of course we'd keep it, and I went from being petrified to really excited.

Anyway, long story short, I had a miscarriage and It's just left me so confused. My OH and I were both so upset, but we hadn't planned it, it wasn't perfect timing by any means so although we grieved the loss together he's sort of just gone back to normal life, normal routine.. which is fine!! I just wish I could do the same.

A month or two ago I wouldn't of planned to have a baby now, but now I cannot stop obsessing over it. It's all I think about and I just can't concentrate on anything else. I keep just randomly crying over how I'm not pregnant anymore.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to raise the conversation with my OH about how I think I want to actually start trying if I'm just being emotional and it's not the right thing to do. I'm so confused and wondered if anyone has been through anything similar..

Sorry to ramble..

muminmanchester Mon 23-Oct-17 13:53:54

Sorry for your loss OP. I had the same situation, unplanned pregnancy that was over just as soon as I'd got my head around it and I experienced the same feelings as you describe afterwards. I used to turn away from pregnant women in the street or cross the road to avoid having to see them. It was a grief like I had never felt before.

It was incredibly tough but it did get easier. I tried to see it as confirmation that I did want children and was ready to think about planning one. 6 months later I was pregnant again, with my beautiful DS who's now nearly two.

It does get better


Dozer Mon 23-Oct-17 13:58:45

Can understand, but ttc immediately might not be the right thing. Eg if you’re personally not wealthy and wish to take time out of work or to go PT after DC marriage is adviseable.

Dozer Mon 23-Oct-17 13:59:14

And very sorry you had a mc.

JoJoSM2 Mon 23-Oct-17 14:06:01

Very sorry you found yourself in this situation. It takes time to grieve. Also, it’s perfectly natural to want things that we haven’t been able to have. Your OH’s experience has been very different as he wasn’t the pregnant one. However, he should be able to be supportive by listening or giving your hugs.
If the feelings persist and you carry on feeling miserable, I’d consider counselling.

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