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Travelling without husband at 36 weeks

(13 Posts)
engineeringmummy Thu 19-Oct-17 23:57:31

I have holidays to use up before maternity so I always planned to visit my family (4 hours drive) the first week of leave when I would be 36 weeks. My dad planned to drive me down and husband pick me up at the weekend. As the pregnancy progressed (currently 33.5 weeks) we are at risk of delivering early. Baby measured 95th percentile at 28 weeks so there is talk of inducing and over the last week or so head has started engaging, getting cramps, pressure down below etc. I have another scan before I go but I think as long as they don't need to induce there is no guarentee I will be early. My husband doesn't want me to go and risk him missing the birth and having to travel back with a newborn in tow. I am stuck as I know family would be disappointed, but I don't want husband to risk missing the birth and at the same time I don't want to be sat at home doing nothing all week for possibly no reason. Any advice? What would you do?

lightcola Thu 19-Oct-17 23:58:53

I wouldn't. Not that late. Can't you parents come and stay with you.

Kentnurse2015 Fri 20-Oct-17 00:06:15

Even without the extra risks, it's a long time to spend in a car at 36 weeks! Very uncomfortable!

Family come and visit you?

Or enjoy being at home with 'nothing' to do - it'll be the last time for a few years!

engineeringmummy Fri 20-Oct-17 00:13:24

Thank you for replying! My mum could (assuming she'd agree) as she has the time off work but for everyone else: dad, brothers and extended family they were seeing me around their usual work schedules. Hence me planning to go there as in theory I had time. :-) It's good to know you both wouldn't, maybe my husband is right and it's too close.

ZaphodBeeblerox Fri 20-Oct-17 00:20:08

I wouldn't go either - it's a bit risky, esp at that late stage you want to be close to the hospital you know, be ready to go in if anything feels even slightly off etc. We're often loathe to kick up a fuss around other people or far from base so that's another risk. Plus it'd be so uncomfortable to sit still for hours at a stretch. I'd just sit at home, put my feet up and get some rest.

Foggymist Fri 20-Oct-17 02:22:29

I drove 3.5 hours home by myself for a wedding when I was 35 weeks (stayed a week), but I wouldn't do it given your risk factors. My son was actually born by emcs at 36+6, I was admitted at 36 weeks as soon as I got back to where we live.

I'm 35+6 now and 3+ hours from home on a two trip with my mum, but I don't have any of the symptoms I had last time or I wouldn't have chanced it.

glasshalfsomething Fri 20-Oct-17 06:35:09

It depends; how would you feel if you ended up giving birth at the other end? Is there a hospital nearby your parents home?

Do you have a contingency plan if labour starts? How soon could OH get there?

I'd go if you had all this in place and felt well enough to travel; even if it was only for a few days.

I found it incredibly boring waiting for Baby to arrive, spending time with family would help.

Also, I was told to expect a big baby - around 8lb, 10oz. I went two weeks overdue and birth weight was under 7lb!!

Bobbiepin Fri 20-Oct-17 06:41:41

You also need to consider what would happen if you need a c section and can't drive home. Tbh I wouldn't do it, the time in the car is going to be uncomfortable, you'll be very tired and you need some time to rest and put your feet up before baby arrives. I would definitely invite your mum over for a while, especially if she'd taken time off for you.

rwalker Fri 20-Oct-17 06:45:38

It sounds like there is a massive chance of you giving birth early . All depends if you are happy making your dh miss the birth of his child .Whilst disappointing to not see your family you can never undo or make up for the fact your dh miss the birth of his child, this is the most amazing once in a lifetime event for both of you. If you go and do go into labour how safe is it for your dh to b driving 4 hours in a blind panic not to miss the birth .How would he handle it if he miss the birth due to you insisted on going would he resent you for this?. don't think you should go

Oysterbabe Fri 20-Oct-17 07:45:49

I wouldn't. My first arrived unexpectedly at 35+5.

Mummyme87 Fri 20-Oct-17 09:23:04

I travelled on the train on my own with DS1 at 37/40 from London to Newcastle then came back down with OH. This time we will be driving to Newcastle when I am 37+2 and back again a few days later.
For me it doesn’t bother me... also if you thought you were starting to do something whilst away, get your dad to drive you back home again

mindutopia Fri 20-Oct-17 10:21:03

No, I definitely wouldn't go. My first was born at 37 weeks (I had absolutely no signs at all labour was imminent, she wasn't engaged, not even regular BH). We got invited to come visit family between Christmas and New Years. They're 6 hours away and I would be 34 weeks. Though with a toddler in tow, it's easily a good 8 hour drive at least with stops. There's no way I could do that. Also, realistically, spending lots of time in the car late in pregnancy isn't good for your pelvis, even if you aren't driving. If it turns out you have a breech baby, you definitely won't want to. More than anything, it's less about your husband missing the birth and more about if labour is that imminent, you'll likely want to be in your own space, nesting, getting ready, resting, etc. rather than socialising. You'll have plenty of time for that once baby arrives.

engineeringmummy Sat 21-Oct-17 00:12:47

Thanks everyone for your help. I had another scan today and now baby is greater than 95th percentile and they want to keep monitoring. I have decided not to go as it is not worth the risk. As many of you pointed out there wasn't enough plans in place just in case and even without the risks factors it is still a probability that baby could be early. Thanks for helping!

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