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Take him back after cheating just because I'm pregnant?

(7 Posts)
lovelystar Thu 19-Oct-17 08:38:01

Hi I'm completely new here and not sure if this is the right place to ask for this advice but I thought I would try you guys anyway!

I have known my boyfriend for about a year and a half and we became an official couple about 5 months ago, around the time i found out I was having his baby, which is my first. We get along really well most of the time and make quite a good team and love each other alot (or so I thought).
However a few weeks ago I was sat in my room and a message from a girl I don't know popped up on his Facebook. I was feeling curious as he had been acting quite strange so I checked the past messages from these two which went back a few days, and involved him talking about his sexual fantasies and arranging for them to meet up to have sex with each other (I was in work at the time they planned). I was so angry with him and felt upset and let down though he swore nothing happened between them and said it was the biggest mistake he's ever made.

The question is is would you take him back after this? Stupid question as I know what advice I would give someone else in this situation, but I stupidly took him back and feel weak for doing so. All this has been brought to the surface again as 2 nights ago he went out and has not contacted me since then despite being active on facebook.

I'm a young mother on my first pregnancy which is already high risk and I'm already away from all my friends and family in a different city sad
Am I tolerating more than I should? Part of me thinks maybe I'm only still with him because I want a father for my child. I would never stop him from seeing our child whatever happens between us and although I'm the first to admit I'm not the easiest to get along with sometimes (I'm 5 months pregnant!?) I feel like I don't deserve this. Would I be justified in ending this or am I overreacting?

Thank you so much for reading my rant just want an outsiders perspective I guess!

Shehz21 Thu 19-Oct-17 08:39:25


Ecadia Thu 19-Oct-17 08:46:23

Can you go home to your family? You have said yourself you have a high risk pregnancy you don't need to be worrying about where he is and what he is doing. He has no respect for you and you'd be far better off without him x

msatlantis Thu 19-Oct-17 08:54:05

So sorry you are going through this.
A similar thing happened to me while I was pregnant. 'DP' was texting another woman. This, coupled with ongoing emotional abuse, eventually proved too much. I was 5 months pregnant when I left him.
My family were 500 miles away (other end of the country basically) but I returned home. Wise decision.
Emotionally, the remainder of the pregnancy was very difficult and the first few months after baby was born too.
But now I am in no doubt it was the right decision. My DS I am sure is such a happy little boy because we live in a comfortable, relaxed environment. Had I stayed with DP we would have been walking on eggshells and second guessing him.
Don't settle for someone who doesn't respect you. Go home to your family. You are young and vulnerable, your family will look after you and protect you.

ChocolatePancake Thu 19-Oct-17 09:00:16

Absolutely not. Go home! You're worth more, as is your child. Trust me, don't set your standards so low when you're just starting out in life flowers

AgainPlease Thu 19-Oct-17 09:37:25

Leave this loser who has no respect for you, go back to your family - you’ll need their support, and get off Facebook.

Good luck. You’ll be fine flowers

lovelystar Thu 19-Oct-17 19:38:48

I accidentally posted in two different threads so copying my same reply smile
You guys are all so lovely i didn't expect such a supportive response! I finally heard from him today and his response was "I knew you'd be like this" suggesting that I'm being unreasonable and unfair by guilt tripping me. I'm usually quite a trusting person despite everything and have no problem with him being out having fun without texting me every 5 minutes however I just thought 2 days was something to be concerned about! Anyway we are taking a break from each other and meeting up again in 2 weeks for our next midwife appointment and probably catch up over coffee/tea. I don't know if he is freaking out over the pregnancy or what but he knows how to pick a time lol. I am taking serious consideration into moving back with my family so have a lot to talk about regarding that aswell x

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