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So... just got told you SHOULDN'T push by midwife

(63 Posts)
overmybreadbody Tue 17-Oct-17 08:12:42

Long story short...
Attended a hypnobirthing class on the weekend, and got taught the up/down breathing method.

Essentially - you "breathe" the baby out using downward breaths and let your body do the work, only pushing if YOU need to and not on the basis that midwives shout "pusssshhhh!!!" as per all TV, film footage of birth.

I'm confused, please can someone (who has had a baby fairly recently advise) is this new methodology? flowers

Ploppie4 Tue 17-Oct-17 08:14:45

It’s probably the ancient way!

Ploppie4 Tue 17-Oct-17 08:15:25

Do you do yoga?

dementedpixie Tue 17-Oct-17 08:16:38

I did have to push with ds as my contractions weren't doing anything. Your body also gets the urge to push so don't know how you would avoid it

Anecdoche Tue 17-Oct-17 08:19:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunnywithadashofgin Tue 17-Oct-17 08:20:46

I did hynopbirthing but I couldn't help but push. My body took over and noone had to tell me to. My friend however did breathe the baby out and never had the urge.

PotteringAlong Tue 17-Oct-17 08:21:01

No one told me when to push, I just did it when I felt the urge to.

Prusik Tue 17-Oct-17 08:21:12

I didn't push. My body just kind of ejected the baby. The contractions squeezed him so hard that I just went with it and the contractions squeezed him out

BowlingShoes Tue 17-Oct-17 08:21:39

Yup, I tried that. Cue, 3 hours later, legs in stirrups, chin on chest, pushing for all I was worth. It will work for some women, but depends on so many factors: size and position of baby, the position of your uterus etc.

I had also done 15 years of yoga, which was sadly no help whatsoever.

BoredOnMatLeave Tue 17-Oct-17 08:21:45

I had no urge to push. At all. Midwife said it was very unusual.So I kind of had to listen to her as I wanted to minimise tearing etc. But it sounds like a good principle as your body should just do the pushing for you.

BendydickCuminsnatch Tue 17-Oct-17 08:23:40

In my experience you don't really need to push, your body just does it. There's no way you can stop 'pushing' if the baby is actually coming, it's something you can't control. Believe me, I was desperately trying to keep the baby in!! grin

Ecureuil Tue 17-Oct-17 08:24:11

I was never told to push, I just pushed when the urge to push because uncontrollable.

BendydickCuminsnatch Tue 17-Oct-17 08:24:51

That's interesting Bored! I couldn't feel my contractions so they were telling me when to push but my body was just doing it anyway haha.

Urglewurgle Tue 17-Oct-17 08:24:54

Hmm, my body pushed, there was no stopping it! That was even before I was first examined and found out to be 9cm.

I had to push as well though, although that might be cos they made me lie on my back (to monitor DD) when I'd been stood up or kneeling before.

Towards the end DD got distressed and I had to push without a contraction (which was surprisingly hard), the midwife pressed down on my tummy to try trigger one.

Urglewurgle Tue 17-Oct-17 08:27:17

The pushing was as unavoidable as being sick, when your body contracts to expell food that has upset your stomach? It was like that but stronger and downwards. Made me go 'huraaahhh' blush

Lweji Tue 17-Oct-17 08:29:14

She means don't push as in forcing down.
Your body will probably do it for you regardless.

My labour stopped in the middle. I told the midwife the pushing urge had stopped. We all stopped until the urge got back.
And by urge I mean the uterus contracting, it's not will dependent.

mindutopia Tue 17-Oct-17 08:29:46

It's not really new, but it is better practice. Except in emergency situations and when you can't actually feel what you're doing (you've had an epidural), what is called 'purple pushing' (basically, hard pushing on demand) isn't ideal. I suspect they are just trying to improve on the advice they've given in the past which wasn't as good. I was never told to push with my first (born 5 years ago). I couldn't not push. It just happened naturally when I was having contractions. But I did have a natural birth with no pain relief (I didn't need any) so I could feel what I was doing, was upright and moving around, etc. But yes, in natural births, and I'm assuming it was a natural birth oriented course you were taking since it was hypnobirthing, the recommendation is not to be told to push on demand but to let your body do it, all other things being fine.

GimbleInTheWabe Tue 17-Oct-17 08:33:46

Had my DS 6 days ago now and nearly had him in triage as the urge to push was so undeniable. No one (including me!) realised I was fully dilated until, after waiting for 50 mins to be seen, I shouted at a passing midwife ‘IM PUSHING!’ Think they thought I was just a ftm who couldn’t handle the pain ha. Anyway, mw was certainly telling me to ‘push push push harder harder come on you can do it!’ Pretty much just like the movies! This was at Kings College.

I also did hypnobirthing and found the breathing really useful in controlling the pain of my contractions though. Gave birth using no pain relief at all, not even gas and air, just breathing and trusting that my body knew what to do. I found it gave me so much confidence.

Rachie1973 Tue 17-Oct-17 08:45:54

I had an old school midwife with my 2nd, who encouraged me to not push.

I'm kinda glad, since my 9lb 14oz lad seemed to be expelled from my body in one hard contraction. No head...... then the rest..... just one whoosh and he shot out. They caught him as my cord pulled tight lol My mum called him exocet for months. Bizarrely I didn't need a single stitch.

Because it had worked well with me I did try breathing through with my next 2 as well, and whilst slower it did work for me.

I don't think any 'set' way is best for anyone, I think it's worth just working it out as you go along,.

sinceyouask Tue 17-Oct-17 08:46:25

Ahahahahahahahaha. Ha.

museumum Tue 17-Oct-17 08:47:36

I didn’t push. I was on my knees in the pool. I can see you would need to push if lying down.
Think of it as the difference between a nice healthy poo that comes out by itself vs trying to force it or being a bit constipated.

HateSummer Tue 17-Oct-17 08:51:46

When you have to push you HAVE to push. The urge is overwhelming like doing a massive poo! But the third time the midwife told me to fight the pushing once the baby’s head crowned. It hurt like hell but the baby birthed by my contractions and I didn’t tear either.

Zaphodsotherhead Tue 17-Oct-17 08:52:36

I changed position with my first, moved onto all fours - and the urge to push completely disappeared. It never came back. I delivered on my back, basically shoving like a bogged horse with each contraction but my body had absolutely no interest in taking part at all.

I was later told that moving on to all fours could have that effect (wish someone had told me at classes, when I said that was what I was wanting to do!). With all four of the others, I had the desire to push and I didn't have to 'force' it (for want of a better phrase).

60percentofthetime Tue 17-Oct-17 08:56:36

It all depends on your birth. With my first I couldn't not push. My body took over and although I didn't consciously push my body did, if that makes sense. My second was back to back and I didn't have any urge to push at all so I had to follow my midwifes instructions and consciously push.

BertieBotts Tue 17-Oct-17 09:00:46

It depends on the situation. Usually you'll get an urge to push when it's time and so it will happen whether you want it to or not.

Sometimes if you've had certain kinds of pain relief you won't be able to feel when to push so the midwives will tell you.

Sometimes the baby needs to be born faster than "just breathing it out" so it's important to push a bit harder.

Sometimes it's in the context of - now wait and hold off pushing - now it's okay to push - now wait - now push - etc as the baby has to move through the birth canal and an experienced midwife can help avoid tearing by managing your urge to push.

Don't go by dramatic TV renditions of birth as these are often terrible. Documentaries etc better but will still be edited so you won't have the whole context of what is happening.

BTW - hypnobirthing is helpful and I found it helpful with DS, but what is the most empowering is understanding various things which might happen and asking for explanations, and being able to go with the flow. I know that I found what I was expecting to be helpful less helpful when it came down to it and other, sometimes surprising things worked for me, so it's worth knowing about as many options as possible and thinking "I'll try this first because it seems like the kind of thing I'd like" rather than "My birth will go this way and only this way". Birth is a very intense experience like you've never had before, so it's not really possible to make judgements in advance about what you will or won't find helpful.

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