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1st trimester woes - just need some support

(24 Posts)
Pollifilla Fri 13-Oct-17 20:07:54

I'm sorry - I know there are a million of these threads already but I am at rock bottom and am hoping some support from those who know what it's like might help.

In a nutshell: 12+2, already have a 21 month old, have constant nausea and being sick 3+ times a day. Been like this since week 6.

I'm just so fed up and cannot muster any enthusiasm for this pregnancy. Thought the scan would help but I was so underwhelmed that I then felt awful guilt. I was so excited with my first.

I feel like I've lost 'me' and everyone is suffering as a result. I'm terrified this awful sickness will stick around - what if it lasts the whole pregnancy? I cannot deal with that!

People around me are superficially supportive and hubby is brill but I can tell he is getting fed up now too.

I'm such a sad sack :-(

VocalDuck Fri 13-Oct-17 20:09:25

That sounds horribly difficult.

Would you consider medication for your sickness? I'd recommend speaking to your doctor, both for anti sickness tablets and also about being referred to your perinatal mental health team just to give you some extra support and proper help that makes a difference to have you are feeling.

ANIDOO Fri 13-Oct-17 22:11:14

I went through this with my first trimester (lasted from week 7-14), and I thought I'd never come out the other side. I ended up at GP in tears, and they gave me sickness meds which helped. You'll get through it, but I totally sympathise. It completely takes the shine off of the pregnancy. Just know it's not forever and will be worth it! Good luck smile

Pollifilla Sat 14-Oct-17 09:44:15

Thank you for your replies guys. I did speak to my midwife about the sickness and she said that as long as I was able to keep hydrated and was not losing a lot of weight, the doc probs wouldn't prescribe meds. I am also fearful that the nausea will stay but I will stop being sick. At the moment, I at least get some short term relief when I throw up!
I really hope I 'fit the stats' and this goes away by week 14. I had hoped that for week 12 but that obviously hasn't happened.
Has anyone else spoken to the perinatal mental health team? What was it like? I am so scared that I will be entered into a mental health care pathway and given a label. NHS mental health care kind of terrifies me...

ANIDOO Sat 14-Oct-17 10:54:09

I saw Perinatal but only once. I found them helpful because she had a better knowledge of the medication I could take pregnant. It meant I could go on he one I knew worked for me previously. She said Perinatal usually help with severe mental health issues, such as bipolar, schizophrenia etc, so I would say it depends on severity of your anxiety.

TheVanguardSix Sat 14-Oct-17 11:00:21

First of all please don't be scared of mental health stuff in your notes. I had PND in pregnancy no 2 and all this meant was that pregnancy no 3 ensured more support, more monitoring, which was so helpful. I was absolutely fine with no 3. What you're going through can put you at risk of really struggling with your mental and physical health during your pregnancy. The support is there! Take it.

Roll on week 14! My hunch is that you'll feel much better by then. I always felt better by weeks14-15.

You poor thing. That first trimester kinda sucks to be honest. flowers

IncyWincySpiderOnRepeat Mon 16-Oct-17 22:31:22

I had awful nausea and daily sickness until week 16, you have my sympathy as it was awful and really does start to make you feel a bit isolated and depressed.

My nausea did however clear up after the 16 week mark and I then felt pretty good for the rest of the pregnancy... so there is hope that it will get better...

Hang in there OP, it will be worth it in the end!

Pollifilla Tue 17-Oct-17 17:19:30

Thanks again for yor supportive messages. I had hope as Saturday I wasn't actually sick at all and thought I was going to get away with ot Sunday too but Sunday night I was sicker than ever and it hasn't let up since. Now I have a permanent headache to add to the fun.

I am considering hibernation for the forseeable! Why must this bit be so miserable?!?!?!

NerNerNerNerBATMAN Tue 17-Oct-17 17:37:04

I'm in a similarly miserable state flowers

Your midwife is taking a load of shite. My GP practice (and I've seen every GP in there over the past few weeks) has been very happy to prescribe drugs and these have helped me to become semi-functional.

Get to your GP and have a proper chat with an actual, real life medic. They will help.

I'm considering attending a group for miserable and depressed pregnant women at my local hospital. I'm a sorry state and the vomiting and nausea have had a significant impact on my MH.

Hope you get it sorted

mummyG2C Tue 17-Oct-17 17:54:01

I am currently 18 weeks with second (with 18month old) and my sickness has still not stopped! I have days where I just heave and bring up a bit and other days I can’t move and am just really sick. To be fair this is a damn sight improvement from first trimester where I couldn’t keep anything down most days. So I feel your pain it gets you down so much especially when having to try care for another child! Just so you know my husband is a GP and He spoke to several colleague early on when I was really ill incl one of his best friends who’s an obstetrician and they all recommended a drug called Promethazine (I think!) it’s actually a motion sickness tablet you can buy over the counter. I literally just take a tablet (normally 20-30mg) at night before bed and just makes the next day bareable it doesn’t go completely but stops me actually being sick and reduces nausea. I am trying to wean off them as I really hate taking meds’ if I can help it but they have really helped and you don’t need prescription! Hope you feel better soon!

Farmmama Tue 17-Oct-17 18:35:33

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down. I'm 7 weeks now and was really suffering, with days needed off work, so spent ages searching for that magic nausea cure. Something that isn't often mentioned in these forums and articles on morning sickness is the sea sickness travel bands you can get from Boots etc. I know this doesn't help with your query abut meds, but they have helped make things more bearable for me. Just wanted to suggest that as an option as I haven't seen it suggested much. Might be worth a try.

Thisyearistheone2017 Wed 18-Oct-17 08:28:55

Hi all,

Just wanted to try and offer a bit of reassurance. My nausea kicked in about week 5/6 and sickness by week 7. I ended up in hospital at week 10 thanks to a bleed and ended up on a drip due to dehydration. I had anti-sickness medication through an IV and felt like I’d been given a new lease of life! I called my GP a couple of days later and was prescribed cyclizine over the phone - he wasn’t reluctant at all. I just said that I was struggling to eat and drink and didn’t want to end up back in hospital. I took the tablets three times a day. I’d be lying if I said they cured it, I was still sick every morning when I got up and then I’d take the first tablet. Some days I was still fairly nauseous, others less so but it meant I could face eating and drinking again. I weaned myself off the tablets from about week 17 and tried just taking one a day. I had convinced myself it would never stop! My sickness vanished somewhere between weeks 19 and 20. I’d gone through the hope at week 12, 14, 16 etc and the sickness carried on! I did read that your placenta doesn’t fully take over until week 20 so maybe that’s the real milestone to aim for (and hope it calms down sooner!). I’m now 26 weeks and have had no sickness since then - still have the odd day of feeling a bit rough, but normality becomes a wonderful feeling!

Hang in there. My advice would be to speak to a GP. From my experience, they would much rather prescribe something and keep you out of hospital than let you end up admitted and on a drip for hours!

UnbornMortificado Wed 18-Oct-17 08:36:23

I'd honestly see your GP.

Some MW's are very anti-meds in my experience. I had to stay on AD's (I have bi-polar it was that or lose the plot) my MW told me she couldn't advise me as none of her girls! where on medication.

I told her I was 29 and got a new MW.

Like it's been said better to have anti-sickness tablets then end up in hospital.

Mustang27 Wed 18-Oct-17 08:46:34

Your midwife is wrong on that front. You are vomiting 3+ times a day and struggling to function you should have gone to drs at 7 weeks.

Headache is a sign of dehydration? How are you feeling now? I’m 31 weeks on my second pregnancy and still have your symptoms and on anti emetics. It’s so much harder when you have other children to factor in. Please don’t bide your time you might be lucky and get better but why suffer needlessly.

There is a hg support thread the women on there are fantastic I will link it. Il copy a link to it. Please pop on and don’t think your not sick there are all levels on there you will find nothing but support.

Mustang27 Wed 18-Oct-17 08:47:06

Hyperemesis Support

Mustang27 Wed 18-Oct-17 08:48:47

Oh and some report giving up their pregnancy vit and just taking a folic acid and vitD one helps a lot on the nausea front.

ANIDOO Wed 18-Oct-17 11:46:35

There is a hypremesis support number as well. I rang them in tears one day and I found them quite helpful. I went back to the doctors and got referred to a hypremesis suite at hospital due to dehydration. Was put on a drip and given an injection of cyclezine. 10 minutes later I ate a ham sandwich (the most I'd eaten in a week). Carried on taking cyclezine tablets which helped (although they make you sleepy so might not be great for you if you already have a child) x

Pollifilla Wed 18-Oct-17 14:43:08

Aww guys - you are all so lovely. Thanks.

Thing is, I am able to eat and drink (although it is no fun - and I used to LOVE my food!) and haven't lost any weight. I tend to be sick a couple of hours after eating a main meal, so am clearly getting some nutrition and hydration. You are probably right about contacting someone though - if not just for my mental health!

I feel so sorry for you ladies that can't eat a thing and those who have had to put up with this well beyond the 'normal' window. God, that must be so hard!

I am still struggling to see beyond the pregnancy at the moment - it's like my brain hasn't clicked that there is a baby in the middle of all this. Such a different experience to my first pregnancy when that little blob was all I could think about!

Hang on in there everyone - after all, we're supposed to cherish every moment of this 'beautiful' process, right!?!

ANIDOO Wed 18-Oct-17 15:58:31

You soon forget it once it's gone! (Like labour grin) x

Misssmoo Wed 18-Oct-17 16:33:19

I was in this position and ended up on drip last week I have been taking meds since being discharged and I can eat and drink now without vomiting x

Chipsahoy Wed 18-Oct-17 16:40:30

I hear you.
Just earlier I said to dh "I really miss me".

Third dc and I'm 11 weeks and 4 days. I'm so grumpy and irritable and just meh.

Greenbeanie88 Sat 18-Nov-17 23:06:28

I know no-one has commented on this thread for a bit but just wondered @pollyfilla if you saw the mental health team and how you are doing now?
I've been struggling with nausea/sickness/exhaustion and a myriad of other uncomfortable symptoms and now I feel my mind has started to give up as well as my body. I'm 13 weeks.
I'm completely on my own this weekend with my 4 year old as OH is away (I stupidly told him to go because he's been doing literally everything for me) and I'm not coping and have no-one to turn to. I need to call the perinatal mental health team on Monday I know I do but just wondered how you got on.

mouseistrapped Sat 18-Nov-17 23:13:21

You poor thing. I wasn't sick but my nausea was totally debilitating. It eased a bit at week 14/15 and then again week 17 and I get the occasional hour here and there at week 20.

I've just received from 24 hour Norovirus which was not fun with a sick toddler BUT I realised something. The Norovirus was not much worse of what I endured daily for 10 weeks! At least with my son sick he was less hectic too ( poor boy, it was the only positive obvs). I also realise just how bad it's been but my brain made me forget in a flash within a week of it ending which was strange .

Hang in there. I agree it's hard to get excited when you feel so dreadful . You are doing reAlly well OP

Dizzyizzy3180 Sun 19-Nov-17 11:58:24

Reading these just makes you want to hug everyone who's struggling. I'm a single mum by choice ( gave up on useless partners) and ten weeks. I've been struggling lately as have had awful nausea and vomiting since week 6. Meds didn't make any difference so I'm just struggling through it. My family live away and the last couple of days I've just been feeling so down, like I'm doing the wrong thing and doubting whether I can do this.
I never realised how unwell pregnancy can make you😯it's really taking the shine off everything and work are being a bit shirty now as I've been off a month. Feel really lost and despondent.

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