I was unable to bf my DS due to medication I was on during pregnancy, now I'm pregnant with my second I should be able to attempt bf with this one. However, I'm worried that this would give me a different bond with this baby? Also I know how much my DH enjoyed feeding our son and if I bf he won't have that experience this time round.
I didn't bf my first two but I did my third. It's not a different bond, but it was quicker. I also suffered pnd with dc1 and dc2 but not with dc3 but there are other circumstances (I'm older, secure relationship, settled) that could be attributed to.
Dp feeds dc3, first with expressed milk, now with formula - he does the bedtime feed and that's their time together/to bond. He's done this since ds was 5 weeks old.
I couldn't bf first time as my daughter was premature and she just wasn't gaining weight quick enough. I'm planning this time to try again, to be honest I don't think your hubby would mind that much, or if he does you could always express once established? There are plenty of ways he can help & bond with baby.
I'm not worried about having a different bond with this baby- it can only be as strong as the one I already have, not stronger.
There are lots of ways to bond other than bf. Surely, you bonded with your first even though you didn't bf, so your husband will bond just as well if you do. Honestly, feeding really wasn't a great way to bond anyway. Feeding a bottle is pretty boring and most people just end up reading or on their phones anyway while they do it (same with bf). Mine was bf for 10 weeks and then bottle fed, but my husband probably bonded with her most doing other things. He did her bath every night (still does - she's 4 now). He did her nappy changes at night. He held her in between feeds (whether bottle or breast). He would literally have her from when he walked in the door after work until bedtime. She slept on his chest in the evenings before we started to put her to bed on her own. He got her dressed some mornings. There's so much more to bonding than feeding, so I wouldn't be worried about that.
I didn't breastfeed my first because I wasn't very clued about it. I didn't know anyone who had done it to ask for help/advice either.
But I fell pregnant when DS was nearly 8 months. I decided then that I would breastfeed that baby because I didn't think we would have another child and I wanted to at least try.
I had my DD and we breastfed for 2 1/2 years. She never tried formula at all. I only expressed once and she didn't take it very well so I just fed her always.
Honestly - my bond with DD is better. But I'm not sure if that's because she's a girl and she STILL sleeps in our bed (she's 4 now). So every night I fall asleep hugging her and she wakes up sometimes throughout the night to give me a kiss, cuddle and tells me she loves me. She's also not the best at doing things without me, so needs the extra support.
But my bond with DS isn't a bad one. He was always independent. Even now, he is 5 and doesn't need any help with school work. He just gets everything. He was never as needy. Although he is VERY cuddly and sweet.
I'm pregnant again now, and I will be breastfeeding.
I bf my 2nd but not my 1st. Totally did not affect my bond with either. My relationship with each of them is different in quite complex ways - I was in a different place, life was different, they are different children, they have different needs. But which of them was breastfed has no bearing whatsoever.