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Pregnancy

Social worker?

29 replies

hlfayers · 06/10/2017 19:42

Hey everyone.
I received a letter today saying next week I will be home visited by a social worker due to some information they have received and that they would like to do a assessment and see if I am getting the support I need.

I can only assume this is about the health visitor meeting I had the other day where I told her about my unborn babies father and how he has been really quite unsupportive and nasty during my pregnancy,and how when he sees her it will be at my house as I don't trust him.
There is nothing else this could be about in my mind.

I'm just looking for some advice on what to expect from one of these?
I'm sick with worry so any help would be amazing.
Thank you

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Crownandheelshigh · 06/10/2017 19:45

Hello. I had this.
I completely understand how u feel. It's a rubbish feeling but honestly they do just do there best for you xxx

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Neverknowing · 06/10/2017 19:50

I understand this must be horrible op.
They are there for you though, they're not against you despite what we her sometimes. They will help you with anything you need so be honest with them Smile

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Rainallday · 06/10/2017 19:50

You've done the right thing being honest about him. They will just be checking that you're ok and seeing if there's anything extra that they can do to support and protect you and the baby. I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry as it will probably just be a cup of tea and a chat. It's good to have extra people looking out for you when you're going through something like this.

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DancingLedge · 06/10/2017 19:58

Their only concern is to help you protect your baby from someone who you don't trust.
They will try to help you.
It's an uncomfortable situation, but try to work with them- you're both on the same side here.

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Ttbb · 06/10/2017 20:07

It's most likely about the father. Don't worry too much.

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hlfayers · 06/10/2017 20:24

If you don't mind me asking what was your situation and what did they talk about with you?
I'm just really worried what they will ask xx

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Crownandheelshigh · 06/10/2017 20:31

Abusive ex partner.

They just asked for back ground info like history etc, if I thought he was a risk to baby.
Then they put a plan in place where everyone who works with me basically meets up once a month to check that everyone's doing there job. Xxx

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hlfayers · 06/10/2017 20:44

Thank you for your help it's made me feel a lot better.
I just wasn't sure on what they would be asking me about!
I suppose all I can do is just tell them why I don't trust him and see how they can help me xxx

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Crownandheelshigh · 06/10/2017 20:54

They will help I promise. Feel free to private message me.
I'll try reply when I can but I've got a seven week old preemie so it's often late at night I reply xxx

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hlfayers · 06/10/2017 20:56

Thank you ever so much,I think I will message you once I've had the meeting if that's ok with you? Be nice to have that support.
Hope everything with your little one is ok!xx

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Wellandtrulyoutnumbered · 06/10/2017 20:59

It will be fine. HV should have told you she was doing this and given you an opportunity to ask questions.

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myusernameisnotmyusername · 06/10/2017 21:03

I had a visit due to really bad anxiety. It made my anxiety worse at the time but she was really nice. She referred me to a centre where there were lots of baby groups to make sure I had lots of support around me and that was that.

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hlfayers · 06/10/2017 21:07

I know how you feel my anxiety is through the roof because of this.
Mainly because all that was said on the letter is they had been given information and would like to talk about it. So I'm left in the dark,
The only thing It could be though is my meeting with my health visitor as that's when I brought stuff up!

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myusernameisnotmyusername · 06/10/2017 21:11

That’s all it will be. It won’t be anything to worry about.

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TwinkleStars15 · 06/10/2017 21:33

I'm a social worker and it's lovely to see all the supportive messages being given to the op - indeed we only want to support families and keep them together, despite what is often portrayed in the media. Be honest and it'll be fine, we're here to help and if we don't think you need it we'll wave you goodbye, if we think you do we'll put a plan in place. Your HV really should have told you she was making the referral though, that is not okay and I would say (politely) that you would have preferred it if she informed you of her plans.

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Crownandheelshigh · 07/10/2017 02:27

That's not a problem.

Everything's good with him.
He's just fighting a viral infection at the moment bless him xxx

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MINEareCRAFTy · 07/10/2017 11:36

I agree that it was poor practice for the HV not to inform you. I work in mental health services and always have a duty to inform if I need to make a referral. Good luck and you will be fine Smile

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hlfayers · 11/10/2017 19:37

UPDATE:
My meeting is tomorrow but I have been informed by my health visitor that she did not refer me as she saw no issues with me but that she had been contacted by the social worker and has been informed this meeting is about my babies dad. I'm assuming something to do with his past or something he has done recently.

What can I expect from this now?
I've had no contact with him for about 3 months now but I have told him before he can see his child once she's born at my house and I'm scared that they will see that as me putting her at risk.

Any advice?

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TwinkleStars15 · 11/10/2017 21:09

You need to wait and find out what the issues are first OP, how do you know that it'll be safe for him to see her at your house when you don't know what it is they are worried about?

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hlfayers · 11/10/2017 22:03

If they deemed him unsafe to see her obviously my number 1 action would be to not have him see her,or to take the advice of the social worker on what's the best thing to do

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user1493413286 · 11/10/2017 22:11

They’ll ask your permission to speak with the health visitor and it’s positive that you don’t already decided that contact would be supervised by you based on husband curren behaviour.
They’ll want to know what you’ll do based on whatever they tell you and give you advice about what’s you need to do to keep your baby safe from him.

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Princesspinkgirl · 11/10/2017 23:19

TwinkleStars15 not all see help so dont make the op think that's true
#forced adoption child snatchers

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DancingLedge · 12/10/2017 17:57

Please don't bring that stuff here Princess- it's not helpful, and cruelly unkind to an anxious parent.

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hlfayers · 12/10/2017 17:59

Thought I'd update you all.

I've been made aware that my babies dad has gotten himself into trouble with drugs,now that they have spoken to me and know I no way want him having contact they now have to talk to him.

I'm terrified because he will no doubt get defensive and start some stuff up about me as revenge!

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DancingLedge · 12/10/2017 18:09

You hold your head high, ignore, ignore,ignore. Don't give him a reaction. People who know you will know that any rubbish talked about you is not true.

You know where you stand now.
If you don't put him on the birth certificate, he doesn't have any parental responsibility or rights ( if you're not married). Strongly advised, if the dad is not totally trustworthy.

He could go to court , to prove he's the father and get parental responsibility, but many don't bother. If he doesn't bother, control of any possible future relationship he could have with your child remains with you.Which is best.
Best wishes for rest of your pregnancy.

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