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Getting a bit sick of being told I'll be induced at 40 weeks & that it's not up for discussion!

(46 Posts)
ScarlettInSpace Thu 05-Oct-17 05:20:18

I'm 40 & after a long 6 year journey am currently 24 wks pg via IVF.

Fit & healthy, normal bmi, normal blood pressure, no complications to date, despite the heartache getting here it's been a pretty text book pregnancy so far, she's been a pretty active baby for the last 6-8 weeks!

They pulled my due date forward by 3 days at my 12 week scan due to measurements rather than date of ivf 'conception' which is fine but I still feel a bit like my true due date is the scientific one if that makes sense?

I've been told now by 2 midwifes & 1 doctor that they will induce me on my new due date, and apparently this is not up for discussion or something for me to consider - all they say is that's what they will do 'because of my age', end of conversation...

It's driving me a bit mad to be honest!

Can Anyone shed any light/help with some advice really? confused

of course if there were complications or there was an immediate health risk to either of us I'd not think twice but I feel like I'm being forced into a medical intervention without being given any choice, or even any information! NHS website says 42 weeks for induction & that it's entirely your choice, which is totally different to what I'm being told confused

Sorry I think that turned into a bit of a rant blush

Fishface77 Thu 05-Oct-17 05:27:56

What have they said? What are their reasons?
Surely your priority should be delivering a healthy baby.
3 health professionals have TOLD you they want to deliver the baby on or as close to your new due date (i presume for your safety as well as the baby's) and your complaining??

honeysucklejasmine Thu 05-Oct-17 05:34:50

I agree with pp - they won't do it for a laugh. I was induced first time and it was absolutely fine. Second time I wasn't and it was fine too. I think induction is sometimes thought of as a bit of a bogey man, but labour is unpredictable and can be great or shit, induced or not.

Placebogirl Thu 05-Oct-17 05:42:16

Their concern (I hate to say) may be stillbirth, the risk of which increases with maternal age, particularly after 38 weeks. contemporaryobgyn.modernmedicine.com/contemporary-obgyn/news/modernmedicine/modern-medicine-now/advanced-maternal-age-and-risk-antepartum?page=full

Having said that--they should be TALKING to you about this, rather than just telling you what will happen, and they actually cannot induce you without your consent.

RavingRoo Thu 05-Oct-17 05:50:07

The longer the baby stays inside you past due date the higher the risk of still birth and at 40 the risk of still birth is higher anyway. They do make these decisions based on the babies size not necessarily the proper due date.

MaryShelley1818 Thu 05-Oct-17 05:57:49

I'm 39yrs old, 30wks pregnant with first baby and being induced at 38wks.
I'm so relieved as the risk of stillbirth increases as you reach 40wks, I would do anything to ensure my baby is out safe despite it not being what I envisaged.

ElizaDontlittle Thu 05-Oct-17 06:03:05

It's stillbirth risk - and an acknowledgement that this baby is a little more hard won than most. But they should have told you, rather than assumed you'd know about that.

ScarlettInSpace Thu 05-Oct-17 06:06:13

what are their reasons? good question so far all I've been given when I've asked is 'because of your age' I didn't know anything about stillbirth risk increasing with age? No one has explained that to me at any point!

ScarlettInSpace Thu 05-Oct-17 06:10:10

Oh and the first midwife said it wasn't up for debate when I asked why, which is what got my back up from the start to be fair, it's not that I'm 'complaining' if something has medical grounding but am just pissed off I'm being told what is going to happen without explanation or discussion over something so big.

ScarlettInSpace Thu 05-Oct-17 06:13:12

And thanks for all your replies by the way, I'm trying really hard to be laid back about the whole thing as it'll be the only time I'll ever expedience it, I guess I just don't react well to being told what to do without understanding the reasons why...

Cracklesfire Thu 05-Oct-17 06:17:16

A normal healthy pregnancy is anywhere from 37 to 42 weeks but as soon as I approached 40 weeks my midwife was going to book me in for induction without any discussion or asking me if I wanted it so soon.

Ask the consultant to explain the risks to you and the statistics involved - only you can decide what level of risk you are happy with but you need all the facts. In my circumstances I was comfortable going to 42 weeks and balancing that risk against a traumatic induction when baby wasn't ready yet & there was nothing to clinically indicate it.

SandBlue Thu 05-Oct-17 06:19:03

A good question I was told to ask in these sorts of situations is "what are the implications and risks if decline?" That forces them to tell you what they are concerned about.

Helbelle75 Thu 05-Oct-17 06:28:14

I was 41 when I had our dd. Conceived naturally, very fit and healthy, text book pregnancy. I was told the same thing - i would be induced at 40 weeks for to my age. I was going to argue against it but had some instances of reduced movement from 35 weeks and in the end I wanted my baby out safely.
The induction failed and she was born at 40+5 by emcs. Her head never fullyengaged and i am so pleased I was in hospital being monitored, as had we left it, it may have been too much if an emergency.
Definitely ask them for an explanation. I was all after a water birth, but when they explained the risks, i followed their recommendation.

Helbelle75 Thu 05-Oct-17 06:29:42

Excuse the spelling - auto correct + a squirming baby are to blame!

Bananmanfan Thu 05-Oct-17 06:38:57

That is a shitty and disrepectful attitude from them that is par for the course. I've encountered it every time i have been pregnant and it is totally unacceptable. The medical profession have ridden rough shod over pregnant women since they first got involved with birth (not that long ago really). They are immediately confrontational; you asked a question about something they have told you will be happening to you and instead of answering it and putting your mind at rest, they have assumed the position that they are protecting your child from harm by you. I have experienced that it each of my 3 labours.

lauramcd86 Thu 05-Oct-17 06:43:18

You'll be dying to meet your baby by then xxx most women who go past their due date are trying to induce labour anyway they can smile having to hold on for 42 weeks is soul destroying trust me! I'm sure the wellbeing of the baby is the reason behind it. Full term at 38 weeks so baby is well ready by 40! I know it's not nice to be told "that's that" (but same applies when they let you go to 42!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I promise you'll be so ready for your baby to be in your arms at 40 weeks

newmum7369 Thu 05-Oct-17 06:49:25

I was just going to say what laura said. By 40 weeks your baby will be good and ready to come out and so will you. My DS was born at 40+11, I would have been let go until 40+12 if it weren't for a slightly raised blood pressure and an open appointment for a couple days earlier. I was desperate to give birth and so fed up. I had been huge for ages and my hormones were playing havoc. Induction is not as bad as you think and they are doing it for the right reasons, but agree you should be offered an explanation.

Good luck, hope the rest of the pregnancy goes well flowers

flumpybear Thu 05-Oct-17 06:54:55

Placenta failure increases with age. My obstetrician told me that she'd encourage me to deliver by 40 weeks (I was 40 too) and she wouldn't twist my arm tooo much as I was literally just 40 but she said she'd tell older mum's that she'd literally insist they had the baby before 40 weeks

Honestly, don't take any risks at all, I had a section at 39+6 and don't regret a moment (he wasn't even slightly engaged and precious failed induction with my DD hence the section)

RaindropsAndSparkles Thu 05-Oct-17 06:57:08

Whether for the good of the baby or not they have been disrespectful. Every clinical intervention from a blood test to complex brain surgery merits an explanation if the patient has capacity.

At your next appointment you must raise the issue and note your disappointment that you have been instructed and told there is no negotiation. Say that it is a procedure you will have to consent to and you need the facts in order to consent and you wish to take a balanced view based on balanced facts. A successful birth requires mutual respect - it is the minimum you should expect.

The decision may be for very sound was one but it is your decision to make based on all the information you are provided with. It is not theirs to take on your behalf unless there is a section in place or it is an emergency.

eurochick Thu 05-Oct-17 07:00:06

I think that's appalling treatment. They should have explained why they were strongly advising (not telling) you to do this.

I would probably go along with it, but I'd want the dates to be corrected to the actual dates rather than their best estimate by scan. I also had an ivf pregnancy and refused to let my dates be moved. It's daft.

NerrSnerr Thu 05-Oct-17 07:00:49

I get this will be the only time you give birth but the most important thing is having a healthy baby at the end of it- not the 'experience'. I have had 2 c sections. It doesn't matter I didn't have a vaginal birth as everyone is healthy.

This may have been heavy handed but why not ask them the implications of refusing the induction?

newmumwithquestions Thu 05-Oct-17 07:02:20

Talk to your consultant. I was 40 when I had DD. I refused induction at 40 weeks. I also felt pushed into it so I made them discuss it. I could have written your post at your stage.

Research chances of still birth. That's what they're worried about. The problem is they know some factors that increase your risk of stillbirth, but it still happens anyway when none of these factors are showing. Also there are slightly higher risks of some things with an IVF baby.

When I talked to the consultant I made them discuss it. they listed a load of risk factors that increase the older you are - I agreed that if I was showing any signs typical of older mum pregnancies then I'd go for an induction when they wanted. But if not I wouldn't. One of the things I personally didn't like was that they wanted to start sweeps at 38 weeks and couldn't explain why - they just said that they start the process of getting baby out. Also I said I was happy to have the pessary for induction but not to have my waters broken. I'd done my research and I had my reasons. They said they understood my reasons but couldn't do it - it was all or nothing so I refused.

As the pregnancy progressed I had a textbook pregnancy more typical of someone in your 20s.

I agreed to start sweeps at just before 40 weeks and that I'd go in for induction at 41.

I went for additional monitoring from 39 weeks.

DD was born at 40 + 5 'naturally'.

It's a personal decision. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Expectingbsbunumber2 Thu 05-Oct-17 07:03:07

They are saying this for a reason for the safety of your baby and you

Jasmine1111 Thu 05-Oct-17 07:06:35

Honestly the important thing is not how baby gets here, but that you get to take baby home from hospital. Having experienced not gettting to take my baby home, I would follow all advice (not that I didn’t but had I been induced or gone into labour earlier my baby would have been fine).

They have reasons for inducing you - and it’s not even early so I would go with it.

I’m being induced at 37 weeks and can’t wait. I’ve been partially induced in some way with all three labours so far and it’s not the hell thst everyone makes it out to be.
Focus on the ending not the process.

AnUtterIdiot Thu 05-Oct-17 07:10:26

Am I right that your concern is a three day change in due date? That's really not a massive change. The due date is dictated by measurements at the dating scan not when you conceived so that is the scientific due date because babies grow at different rates.

There's loads of evidence that going beyond due date involves increased risks to the baby and to mothers and also that these risks increase with maternal age:

evidencebasedbirth.com/advanced-maternal-age/

I'm 41 so have thought about this quite a lot. I too had the "we won't let you go beyond..." talk and I understand why it annoyed you because you are right that they can't induce you without your consent however ill advised they think your decision is. But you really need to get past that and focus on the endgame, which is you and the baby coming through this alive and safely. Especially when we're talking about a difference of 3 days between what you thought was the due date and what it now is.

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