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Double barrel surname. Any experiences??

(68 Posts)
Jellybabie3 Sun 24-Sep-17 08:36:34

Me and DH have not been married long. I decided not to take his surname as i am quite attached to mine! MIL was instantly keen to know babys surname (i am 40+1) and me and Dh had kind of agreed (not telling her yet) that we would double barrel. Everyone thats asked about DS surname has made comments like 'you wouldnt do d-barrel....its difficult/wordy/awkward' etc so now at the 11th hour i am having a wobble. Does it really make a difference?? My name is quite 'English' DHs is not so it will be a little mouthful esp after a middle name like Clarke-Bronslik (i totally made that up so i hope it doesnt mean something rude) i also am conscious that puts my surname first....urgh family politics!!

welshweasel Sun 24-Sep-17 08:39:04

Everyone always has an opinion, whatever you do! So long as you and DH are happy that's all that matters. We chose to double barrel when we got married and it's worked out fine. I know plenty of people who are doing what you propose and again, people just accept that's the child's name and nothing more is ever said.

Jellybabie3 Sun 24-Sep-17 08:40:19

But did you also double barrel yours or just baby?

redexpat Sun 24-Sep-17 08:57:17

My nephew in London is double barelled. My Dc are not and have DHs name because we live in DHs country so I wanted to show their nationality as this country is quite xenophobic. They have very english first names.

You could borrow an american custom and combine your names, although I think thats usually more for first names. If there is a chance you will be travelling alone with them then I would give them your name.

Whatwver you do just make sure its the right decision for you and DH. No one wlses opinion really matters. This is your child and you and dh decide.

thesandwich Sun 24-Sep-17 09:01:19

Works for our dc- who likes being unusual😁. Just be consistent on official forms when using a hyphen between the names or not.

Hoddykins Sun 24-Sep-17 09:14:48

To throw in a teacher's opinion - it makes it very difficult for me to label things! Their names often won't fit in labels etc.

But that is just a very tiny problem!

Your baby, your choice. It's only a name, the rest of the world will just have to deal with it smile

HeyJupiter Sun 24-Sep-17 09:20:49

You need to do whatever makes you happy. I double barrelled when I got married last year as love my family name but also wanted to be joined to DH's family in some way. He chose not to double barrel which is absolutely fine too as his choice. I'm pregnant and our baby will have his surname only just in case they end up getting married at a later date and want to do the same smile

I've had lots of stick and teasing about it (comments that it sounds really posh, ridiculously long etc and also comments on the other end of the spectrum that it sounds 'chavvy') but I don't regret it at all. I think it's great and it means that I can have the same surname as my husband and baby whilst also retaining links to my own family.

BertrandRussell Sun 24-Sep-17 09:24:00

My children are hyphenated. Never had a problem.

Labeling things can be a bit tricky as the names are quite long. But we use Thomas G-P usually.

LadyRenoir Sun 24-Sep-17 09:29:36

Do whatever you want. I can't, as both me and my partner have very long names and the whole thing would sound ridiculous. I have a friend who insisted on double-barrel last name and it does sound bizarre with the combination they have.
One thing I would say- decide once and for all.
I know of kids whose parents changed their mind later on, from one name to double barrel, and the kid ended up confused. If you want it done, then do it from the beginning.

annlee3817 Sun 24-Sep-17 09:47:18

My Mum wanted to keep her name, so her and my Dad double barelled. It was a long name and my middle name was also hyphenated, but I loved it smile

Sakura03 Sun 24-Sep-17 10:09:07

We're not married but thinking of doing the same. I'm Danish with a common Danish surname which is easily pronounced so thought it might be a good way of doing it.

NameChange30 Sun 24-Sep-17 10:13:51

I have two surnames and so does my DS. Not a problem. It's really no one else's business - if they don't like it, it's their problem.

AnUtterIdiot Sun 24-Sep-17 10:15:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnUtterIdiot Sun 24-Sep-17 10:16:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NameChange30 Sun 24-Sep-17 10:17:20

One tip: when announcing the birth and name, make sure to announce the full name. Also include the full name if you do birth announcement / thank you cards. Some people do tend to assume a baby will be given the father's surname unless you inform them otherwise (the same people who assume a woman will change her name after she gets married).

In hospital the baby will be given your surname on the little tag they get smile

NameChange30 Sun 24-Sep-17 10:18:34

No hyphen here either (not for me or DS). I figure it gives a bit more flexibility i.e. we can drop one surname if we want.

Iusedtobeafreeelf Sun 24-Sep-17 10:20:34

We hyphenated, no problem at all.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Sun 24-Sep-17 10:20:35

Dd has double on bc but we use only one.

greentea4me Sun 24-Sep-17 10:21:25

I wouldn't, it seems to be a common trend with children of unmarried couples. People may assume you're not married. Why can't they just have your name? I changed my name when I got married but if I hadn't the children would have had my name.

poddige Sun 24-Sep-17 10:26:44

@greentea4me I am married, and I double barrelled my name. And the name of DC.

Not only would I not mind if people didn't think I was married, I didn't want to lose the surname I'd had for 27 years just because I was.

NameChange30 Sun 24-Sep-17 10:29:02

What poddige said!
I am also a Ms - don't want my title to reflect my marital status.

gandalfspants Sun 24-Sep-17 10:30:32

DH was already hyphenated, so he choose one and took my surname in place of the other, I added his remaining one (so we're both myname-hisdadsname) DD is the same.

If we'd both kept our names I think DD would still be what she is.

We haven't had any problems (other than needing tiny writing for forms). A few people just say 'Mrs hisdadsname' but I don't really mind (my original name is tricky to pronounce)

Lookingtothehighlands Sun 24-Sep-17 10:34:49

I kept my name, our dc have both names hyphenated- has always been fine. Not unusual among our friends and in their schools.

Oysterbabe Sun 24-Sep-17 10:51:02

I would just use your name.

RandomUsernameHere Sun 24-Sep-17 10:57:37

Just to add a different viewpoint, I changed my surname to DH's upon marriage and I absolutely love having a name that is easy to pronounce and spell.
My maiden name, although it is an English name and not double-barrelled, is quite unusual and has a funny spelling and it was constantly being mis-spelled and pronounced incorrectly. It caused constant problems for me at work and when booking things etc. I would think hard about giving your DCs a name that is difficult to spell if there are other options.
Having said that others might love having a really unusual name!

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