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Pregnancy is making me feel so ugly

(27 Posts)
Hannabee123 Fri 22-Sep-17 22:49:33

I don't feel attractive at all. I hate the way I look and I hate the way my body is changing.
Anyone else feel like this or have any tips on feeling better? sad

DeadDoorpost Fri 22-Sep-17 22:57:09

I have a constant chant in my head of "I feel fat" because that's how I feel.. don't feel pregnant at all despite being 31 weeks. Having my DH remind me I'm pregnant and not fat helps though.. I'm lucky that he's the sort of man to find me even more attractive while pregnant. No idea why, but I'm glad as it's made me feel a lot better.
I've also found that on days that I feel good about myself I've eaten well and had plenty to drink. Maybe that might help you as well? (Not saying you're not eating healthy, coz I really like fast food atm which makes me feel worse)

Hannabee123 Fri 22-Sep-17 23:28:58

I just feel massive, ugly, poked and prodded at always taking wee or blood somewhere with me at every appointment. I feel like when I actually go to the effort of putting on makeup and wearing nice clothes it just makes me feel even worse like I'm trying and for what.
Then I'm left with this massive black hole feeling like my life's never going to be the same and it's going to take forever to feel like me again hmm
Haven't really felt too much like this up until now so it may just be hormones going into overdrive but I feel like a bag of crap

DeadDoorpost Sat 23-Sep-17 01:05:49

How far along are you? I've found the hormone surges every few weeks seem to bring the feelings on. When it comes to the urine and blood samples I just tend to glaze over.. midwives are going to see more of me at the end than they are now.
I spend most of my time indoors as I don't work (finished uni just after I got pregnant) so majority of the time I stay in comfy pyjamas. When I have to go out though I do feel odd, as though normal clothes are too fancy.

GhoulsFold Sat 23-Sep-17 01:18:36

Oh god... from 3 months to the day I popped (and beyond!) I looked and felt fucking awful! That baby drained the very life from me. I was greasy & spotty, my hair started to thin and go grey, I looked grey in general and aged at least 30 yrs! I could barely walk without hyperventilating. I puked for 7 months solid. No clothes fitted me. I HATED being pregnant. I looked a mess.

However, the DH still wanted to bonk me at every opportunity. Fuck knows why, but he claims I was gorgeous (I reeeally wasn't!)

Does your DP still find you the sexiest thing alive?

allthecheese Sat 23-Sep-17 07:28:46

I feel exactly the same. Before I got pregnant I was completely in control of my diet, and worked out 5 times a week. Now I eat what doesn't make me sick (morning sickness is definitely not a first trimester only thing!), and this week I will have only been to the gym twice. I feel like I'll never get pre baby me back.

I don't really have any advice, but wanted to say you are definitely not alone.

Hannabee123 Sat 23-Sep-17 07:45:52

I'm 27 weeks at the min so still have a fair amount of time left. My partner says I'm pretty / beautiful but we don't really do much because we've been too busy and I'm suffering really bad with hip pains. I just feel like a complete moose

Expectingbsbunumber2 Sat 23-Sep-17 09:43:24

I'm feeling like that at the moment too, my partner always tells me how beautiful I look and always tries to make me feel good which definitely helps.

Hannabee123 Sat 23-Sep-17 09:52:07

Compliments don't really help clothes aren't at all flattering and everyone at my maternity group have lovely big bumps and then you just have me that looks like I've eaten way too many cakes confused
I even wear granny pants now for the loose feeling and comfort sad

Pregosaurus Sat 23-Sep-17 10:02:43

I'm 31 weeks - totally agree! I HATE being pregnant. Felt like this all the way through my last pregnancy too. If it's any consolation, having the baby is like the best diet in the world. You lose loads of weight pretty quickly. And breastfeed! Another great way to lose weight. I weighed less than I did pre-pregnancy when the baby was six months.

Don't worry! Babies are the best. It's totally worth it.


Expectingbsbunumber2 Sat 23-Sep-17 10:08:57

There is some nice maternity clothes out there, I wear nice skinny maternity jeans which are super comfy. I don't know what else to say other than that your not alone!

SpikeGilesSandwich Sat 23-Sep-17 16:08:52

I felt like I looked fantastic when I was pregnant, never felt so attractive in my life, my hair and skin were great and I could look in the mirror and smile for a change. Since the birth on the other hand, I look like a pile of shite. I would have expected things to go back to relative normality after almost 18 months but nope. I can't do anything with my hair, am covered with spots, generally look appalling.

Anyway, my point is, maybe if you feel crappy during pregnancy, you'll be a glowing beacon of motherhood afterwards? Think positive, the pregnancy is very temporary so this way round is better!

Adellalouise Sun 24-Sep-17 10:46:43

I can second this ! As soon as I found out I was pregnant I was so excited then the headaches dizziness and nausea started - ok so your never going to feel great, but now that's all easing It kicked in that I'm putting on weight, im showing early nothing fits I can't find nice maternity clothes I feel drab and scruffy my hairs shit my skins spotty
My ass has grown my legs are growing !
So I ask my partner if he finds me repulsive he says no , said he finds me beautiful
Why does this not reassure me?
He's a good man he's loyal he has strong morals yet stuck in my head I'm thinking he will leave me for a skinny girl - wtf !!! He does nothing but love me and treat me well I am going insnane basically telling him he doesn't fancy me and telling him he will leave me!
When do we start that pregnancy glow cause I ain't feeling it yet
I'm 12 weeks on Thursday and I really want to embrace the bump and love it but instead I'm just grossed out my by myself grrrr

So there you have it I am actually losing the plot lol

katmarie Mon 25-Sep-17 15:38:19

I do understand how you feel, a bit. My SIL said to me yesterday, 'ooh your bump is looking really round now' - I'm 23+5. I just looked at her and said 'yeah, I feel really fat'. My DP tells me he thinks I'm gorgeous which definitely helps, but I put a lot of time and effort a couple of years ago into losing some weight, it was much needed and I was really proud of myself for it, and now to see it going back on is freaking me out a bit! Consciously I know it's ok to gain weight, it's for the baby to grow, and my baby is happy and healthy according to the scans and the midwife, but it's hard to reconcile the weight gain with the years of hard work I put in getting myself to a place I was happy with. I don't want to spend my whole pregnancy stressing about weight, but it's not easy sometimes! I put all of my lovely lacy underwear and bra's and stuff away a few weeks ago, in favour of maternity bras and big pants, and I very nearly cried.

Adellalouise Mon 25-Sep-17 17:20:22

Oh same katmarie I am in the same boat lost loads of weight felt so attractive again wearing cloths I never felt nice in even wearing a bikini felt lovely just knowing it's all going back on freaks me out too and even though I know it's good for the baby already I'm thinking how I'm getting all back off later grrrrrrr
Be nice to not worry my friend didn't care she just dealt with pregnancy amazingly so jealous of that cause all I do is stress and worry even about the smallest things that aren't important like weight gain !

Feels good to vent on here tho xxxxxxxxxx

Ttc321 Mon 25-Sep-17 18:58:41

I feel the excact same way! I have gained sooo much weight at 27 weeks, my chin is huge, skin and hair terrible, can't seem to look or feel attractive in anyway even if I dress up and put lots of makeup on and nice outfit, still feel like utter shite and just want to go home put my pyjamas on and hybernate! You're not alone on this one, just remember, not long to go and the baby will make up for it all.

Hannabee123 Mon 25-Sep-17 19:58:11

I feel like my partners doing his job saying I look good halo
I feel so awful my stomachs starting to look like Freddy Kruger with stretch marks. Had to take out my belly button piercing which sucked as I'm just used to it!
Just 3 months left and madam will be here and hopefully I can feel more like me againsad

Minimoo247 Sun 05-Aug-18 05:35:02

I’m only 6 weeks and I feel so gross! I used to go to the gym every day and since finding out I was pregnant (found out very early!) I haven’t been to the gym and my diet has been awful. I’m so worried about how I’m going to look afterwards too, I feel unattractive and I’m worried that my boyfriend won’t find me attractive anymore. These hormones are a killer! It’s causings rows with my boyfriend my emotions are all over the place sad I just don’t know what to do! Does anyone have any advice?

TinyMarie Sun 05-Aug-18 06:19:14

@Minimoo247 The first trimester is rough as far as hormones are concerned! I felt awful the entire time and was mourning the loss of my old life and body and basically being extremely negative constantly. I repeatedly said to my other half 'why the f have I done this!'

I am now into my 2nd trimester and have seen my baby on the scan and feel slightly differently. Hormones and general feeling crappy have eased and everyone keeps telling me how this is the best bit because you look all gorgeous and pregnant with a small bump. Obviously not everyone feels that way but I've heard it gets better! You are right in the middle of that crazy hormonal time so it's perfectly normal and hopefully, you will feel differently once you see what it's all for!

RabbitsAreTasty Sun 05-Aug-18 06:38:14

I have an hourglass figure. When my waist disappeared I looked very fat very quickly. I hated it. Getting that back later made a huge improvement to my mental health.

It was notable that I put less weight on with each child. I knew how fucking hard that last bit of baby weight is to lose.

Not as hard as losing menopausal weight gain though.

surreygirl1987 Sun 05-Aug-18 10:38:32

Oh my god me tooooo! I was size 8 when I got married last year and now I'm in XL grannie pants - what has happened to my life!! I hate hate hate being pregnant. I look at photos of me looking skinny on honeymoon last year and am so sad! However... it's not forever and it's only making me mega determined to get back into shape after baby. I even bought a jogger pram. I miss feeling fit and doing triathlons etc. But i have found it helpful to find really nice maternity clothes. I've been buying up some Seraphine stuff online- it enhances the bump but is also flattering iyswim. Also hair and makeup makes a big difference to how I feel. Maybe have a pamper day - get your hair done, buy some new makeup, get your nails and eyebrows done and order some pretty maternity clothes. Then go our for dinner with your OH so show yourself off smile

Liverbird77 Sun 05-Aug-18 18:52:34

19 weeks here. Just been circuit training and had to repeatedly see myself in huge mirrors... I look bloody horrid!!! I am trying to rein in eating crap etc but I am also trying to give myself a break. I just think that the alternative, not being pregnant, would be much worse!

Minimoo247 Mon 06-Aug-18 06:38:12

Thanks for all the replies and advice 😊 it’s so hard, I’m starting to feel abit better this week! And happy to know this is normal I was starting to think I was going crazy! It’s really hard watching your body changing as you say when your waist starts dissapearing its worrying and I keep thinking I hope I can get back to what I was after baby is here! I’m now 6 weeks and seem to have gained control on my emotions again (thank god!) I keep worrying though as it’s so early on and I’m very impatient for that 12 week scan so I know everything is ok! This wasn’t a planned pregnancy and at first I couldn’t stop crying when I found out... but now It’s been a few weeks I’m actually super excited!! Is anyone else worrying? I do worry a lot x

londonfeather Mon 06-Aug-18 06:44:47

If you have a bad hip go and see a physio, or go to your docs and be referred to a physio (though this will take longer) and get it sorted sooner rather than later. A physio worked magic on my spd when I was pregnant. Hopefully being more mobile will help you feel better

PurpleFlower1983 Mon 06-Aug-18 07:37:39

I just feel very fat! I was a 14/16 anyway and had just lost some weight but now it’s all just blown up!

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