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Other Half told me he doesn't want me to have an epidural

(165 Posts)
FirstNov2017 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:19:10

Lets all laugh together...
I don't want an epidural but this is my first child and I have no idea what to expect. I'm aware of the pros and cons and see it as a last resort. After our antenatal class this week my partner said "I don't want you to have an epidural, it's not an option in my eyes". Anyone else had similar comments/demands from partners? My body my choice and my pain threshold!

user1483387154 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:19:48

He is being stupid!

Ecclesiastes Fri 22-Sep-17 12:20:13

Gosh. Is he an arsehole in other ways?

Callamia Fri 22-Sep-17 12:20:43

Do tell him that should he ever require surgery, then he can do without anaesthetic.

BertrandRussell Fri 22-Sep-17 12:20:50

What did you say?

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Fri 22-Sep-17 12:21:04

Everytime you have a contraction may I suggest you squeeze his testicles hard. .

BitchPeas Fri 22-Sep-17 12:21:06

What on earth were his reasons? And why does he think his opinion matters? shock

AssassinatedBeauty Fri 22-Sep-17 12:21:07

Thankfully no! Does he understand that it's very offensive to try and dictate what you do with your body to manage your pain?

Fairylea Fri 22-Sep-17 12:21:25


What an awful thing for him to say.

Your body, your choice.

BiddyPop Fri 22-Sep-17 12:21:26

I wonder how he would feel if it was him having to squeeze a watermelon out of his bum?!

Reassure him perhaps that it is not what you are going in looking for, but that you also have no idea how things will go, and that you will take the medical advice of the trained docs and midwives in relation to the medical needs as they present themselves on the day?

fuzzywuzzy Fri 22-Sep-17 12:21:43

I think you need to let the midwife know that's his attitude, but you are open to whatever you need at the time.

When I was in labour DP was the one who told the midwives what I wanted and he stuck by it thgankfully it was exactly what I wanted. I was too busy trying to give birth to be coherent.

SleightOfMind Fri 22-Sep-17 12:22:17


DirtyBlonde Fri 22-Sep-17 12:22:25

Oh dear, he really is a bit naive isn't he?

Perhaps you could try saying that although you see epidural as something to be avoided if possible, it is very much as option. The only way you would consider doing without that option is if you can use his bollocks as squeeze balls during contractions.

NeilTheSloth Fri 22-Sep-17 12:22:27

“It’s not an option in my eyes” - That’s a funny joke.

Say okay, but you will be punching him in the balls everytime you’re in pain.

(I’m joking, what you really should do is get an epidural if you bloody well want one, Please do not take his wishes into account!)

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries Fri 22-Sep-17 12:23:14

As someone who didn't have an epidural and would generally prefer to avoid one, tell him the day he pushes out a 9-pound baby he can make whatever decisions he likes about his pain relief, and in the meantime he can get to fuck.

Is he often controlling and/or unreasonable?

Penfold007 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:24:22

Why? What are his reasons or worries?

paddlingwhenIshouldbeworking Fri 22-Sep-17 12:24:27

Oh thank God for your last sentence!

Fantasticmissfoxy Fri 22-Sep-17 12:24:40

Goodness, that's not really funny -it's quite disturbing? Why would he want you to be in pain? Why does he think he has any say over your medical decisions?

Butterymuffin Fri 22-Sep-17 12:25:47

That's fine, when he's giving birth he can tell them he doesn't want an epidural. As it's you doing it, you make your own choice. He doesn't get to say how you deal with pain.

Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis Fri 22-Sep-17 12:25:49

Tell him that when you’ve finished bearing his children he has to have a vasectomy without any form of anaesthetic - see what he says to that! As you said your body your choice.

Lumpylumperson Fri 22-Sep-17 12:27:06

My word! He strange that he thinks that he can have a say over what medical intervention you choose to manage your pain during the labour that is happening to your body.

Lumpylumperson Fri 22-Sep-17 12:27:25

*How strange

SleightOfMind Fri 22-Sep-17 12:27:41

Seriously though, hope this is just a case of him taking the antenatal 'drugs are evil, natural is best' schtick too earnestly in a misguided attempt at being supportive.

Otherwise it's not funny at all.

Lumpylumperson Fri 22-Sep-17 12:28:30

Anyone else had similar comments/demands from partners?

Goodness no!

AhveHeardIt Fri 22-Sep-17 12:29:43

What a dobber.

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