Anyone else sick of being told they're massive?(51 Posts)
I'm 27 weeks now and I'm starting to get fed up of people telling me I'm huge already! I love having a bump and I am proud of it but now starting to feel self conscious. Some work colleagues tell me I'm looking good but others seem to enjoy laughing at me publicly like I'm some kind of freak show. In Marks last week the lady at the check out looked shocked when I said I was 26 weeks and said "oh you're going to be huuuuge!!" Then in Sainsbury's yesterday the check out lady said " well there's a girl who works here that's pregnant and due before you, and she's nowhere near your size".
This is my first baby so I am surprised at how big I am. I've got my 28 week midwife appointment next week where I'll be measured which will hopefully put my mind at rest. I was a healthy BMI before getting pregnant and have put on an average amount of weight. Anyone else had a big bump from early on with baby number 1??
Just ignore them. People like commenting, especially if it's your first pregnancy. It gives them something to say and makes them feel important and informed if you know what I mean.
I remember being told I was huge ('must be twins!) and tiny ('are you sure of your dates?') by different people on the same day.
Aw thank you. Yeah I think you're right...people just want something to say that makes them sound knowledgeable...
"I know! Really looking forward to meeting him/her".
"Well my mother looked big too, must run in the family. How much are my groceries?/how's your mum doing?/have you got those figures from the meeting?"
*When are you two going to get married?
*Are you going to have kids?
*Are you practising <wink wink> yet?
*Ooh you are big/small.
*You can't eat that.
*You should eat this.
*My friend/sister/mum/colleague/ndn had xyz.
*What kind of birth are you going to have?
*<insert horrendously frightening birth story>
*Don't buy this/you need to buy that.
*Breastfeed/don't breastfeed/tut tut tut at your decision.
*co-sleeping/weaning/walking/potty training/nursery/full time-part time going back to work/using happy grandparents as babysitters/the clothes you put your dc in/the toys you give them- gendered? Pink/blue? Guns? Wooden blocks? Ipads in restaurants....
It seems woman's lives and decisions are there to be nit-picked over. Smile, nid, confront gently if persistent. Or a bored look and "oh...really...?" while staring over the person's head.
I looked small even when i was 12 days overdue. But i measured bigger it's all weird!
Congratulations and best wishes for a speedy delivery "like shelling peas"
I got so fed up of this when I was pregnant with DD. It seemed constant. Mother in law was the worst! (And she is usually lovely). I had people literally laughing at me.
6weeks now with no.2 and dreading to Think how much bigger I might get. As people say you get bigger quicker with no. 2. But also think I'll have thicker skin this time.
It's annoying, they feel like they have to say something, anything.
I got sick of 'ooh, you're not as big as xxx' all the way through as a colleague was a couple of weeks ahead of me (and she had a 10lb baby).
SIL was told she was 'tiny' all through - she measured bang on.
I now have an 11 month old who has 'looked much older' since about 6 months, so that's wearing thin too, but I smile and tell myself they're just taking a interest.
I'm probably guilty of inane comments myself at times to be honest.
Visiting a friend this weekend, she's 38 weeks, must keep my mouth shut!
Get used to it... from now on people will think its fine to comment on you, your body, your baby, your parenting decisions etc etc! Pregnant women and new mums seem fair game for lots of comments and 'advice'. Most of its best ignored.
My step mother decided it'd be nice (she is usually lovely I don't know what got into her I think she was trying to joke) to call me 'fatty' several times near the end of my pregnancy. I was a size 12 before pregnancy, didn't look pregnant from the back (except for a bit of arse-spread by the end) but had a huge bump, containing a big baby as it turned out. I let her get away with it twice before growling 'if you call me that one more time I'm going to come over there and sit on you!'
She didn't say it again
With my second people we're constantly telling me how huge I was but now looking back at pics I was huge to be fair haha. Baby was 10lb 11!
I've been very lucky! No one has commented except one lady who came into my work (who happened to be physic apparently and blurted out "you will have that baby on your birthday" now to wait and see if she was right!)
I'm now 37 weeks and not one person has mentioned it.
I do feel like I have missed out a little as I imagine people say things without thinking and because they are happy and excited for you and I've not been able to participate in the small talk.
My partner stopped in his tracks the other day, stared at my stomach in shock and said "you're **ing huge." As if he hasn't seen it growing the last 8 months!
I was huge in my first pregnancy. A colleague was commenting on it and I told her I'd been in maternity clothes since about 7 weeks. She said that she'd been in her usual skinny jeans until about 7 months! We had a good laugh about it then I punched her in the face.
(In my head)
When I was at the Drs office walking to my appointment to see my midwife, a very frail elderly man was walking the other way using two walking sticks. As he approached me he literally plastered himself against the wall with his arms and sticks outstretched like I was a floating blimp.
I was HUGE and people would incessantly ask "are you sure your not having twins"
The worst one was my MIL telling me I would have a big baby. I kept telling her the midwife says he is only 7lb, it's all water. Well, he weighed in at 11lb 9oz so I never hear the end of it. "I told you he was going to be big, you didn't believe me"
FUCK OFF! You couldn't possibly have known something the Drs and Midwives didn't.
I have found that pregnancy and childbirth seem to bring forth peoples opinions when they wouldn't ordinarily comment. For your own sanity try and find some way of dealing with it. I'm not saying it's ok, just that you can't control other people- only your reactions to them.
Try using the same joke everytime
Stranger: "Oh gosh youre huge already"
PinkHippo "You do know theres a baby in there, right?"
I'm on DC3, 24 weeks and I've recently been asked if I shouldn't be on maternity leave now! Thing is, I don't think I'm that big! Some people's expectations of pregnancy size are nowhere near the reality!
I could have written your post myself...I'm 22wks pregnant, only put on 6lbs and have a 'nice' bump and every fucking day people comment and say OMG you're huge (I'm really not!) Came home in tears yesterday after someone saying my face is also much fatter (it's really not) and one woman repeatedly asking if I'm sure of the due date! Absolutely fed up 😢
On my second 21 weeks with hyperemesis and still getting "omg you are huge". I was about a st over weight imo when I conceived but I was still a healthy bmi. I have a long torso so my bump is long too. It's really depressing isn't it and take the shine off of being pregnant when ppl are insensitive twunts.
Your face shape will have changed though, it goes back. I have what ppl would describe as a long horsey shaped face not pregnant then turn into full in Enid blytons moon face during pregnancy. I can see it comparing pics before and after. I'm sure your face isn't fatter though. People suck
Mustang27 it really hasn't! Not sure why I'd lie about it? If it had I wouldn't care. I have many friends who've been pregnant, some have, some haven't.
I am massive and don't take it as an insult so I just say 'I know! Crazy isn't it' and don't give it another thought.
Roundandround, that is clearly a comment from someone struggling with self esteem. I wouldn't be offended because they were putting themselves down, not you. Pregnancy is temporary.
Sorry Mary that was supposed to say "will have likely changed" !! I'm juggling a crazy two yr old. Sorry if I caused offence.
Thanks for all the comments guys...glad to know I'm not alone and I'm going to keep on laughing it off...
Honestly just ignore it - by the end of my pregnancy I was quite mean when anyone commented on my bump. For instance - your massive! Oh thanks growing fast when are you due?
Or well I am pregnant what's your excuse
I was walking to work with headphones in listening to a podcast two days ago and a middle-aged man started walking alongside and signaling at me - I took my headphones out and he asked me 'how much longer do you have to go?' And it continued.... 'oh just a month how wonderful.... do you know if it's a girl or a boy? Where are you having him? How old are you if you don't mind me asking?'. Being taken aback and typically Britishly too polite I went along with the interrogation answering the questions in a friendly way, but I felt so creeped out afterwards! Had to escape into a shop. So weird! Hate how as soon as you have a visible bump then your body and health and personal life are apparently everyone's business.
I sometimes think people fail to even consider the other side. For a non-pregnant person seeing a pregnant person it usually brings up some quite special emotion, whether remembering your own/partners pregnancy or because you look forward to having kids in the future. So people tend to zoom in on that topic immediately. Most people LOVE to chat about pregnancy related stuff like how long (till the most exciting day of your life), how big is your bump (big=wow, small=cute), do you know if it's a boy or girl (how exciting), enjoy your sleep now (it was so tiring with a newborn), blah blah blah.
It's about the other person, and it's because something really special is happening for you. But unfortunately that leads to personal questions as pregnancy is loaded with private moments. But I think people, especially ones that have already been there, just love to go over the details.
Excitement, nostalgia, recognition of how special it is.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.