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Pregnancy

When to announce the good news

40 replies

MrsMP123 · 25/07/2017 09:23

Just interested in when others told people the good news? I'm 9 weeks and have only told my parents and my in-laws so far. We were going to wait until after the first scan but the appointment isn't for another 4 weeks. It just feels like if we wait that long to tell family and friends, then a good chunk of the pregnancy has already gone without being able to celebrate it properly with loved ones. In the world of social media now, we wouldn't think of posting anything to the masses until after the scan but are thinking about telling family & close friends next week once we reach 10 weeks.

OP posts:
Lunalovepud · 25/07/2017 09:43

Tell people when you want... The reason most people wait until after the 12 week scan is to make sure that everything is progressing well with the pregnancy... If (God forbid) there were any problems and you had already told loads of of people, you have to go back and tell them all bad news which may add to the existing upset.

That being said, I have always told close friends because if something did go wrong, I would need their support.

Ameliablue · 25/07/2017 11:30

I told my mum straight away. Then waited a couple of weeks to tell my kids. Then we were due to visit my siblings so it was convenient to tell them around 9 weeks, followed closely by oh's siblings. Then the kids are too excited so they've spread the news further.

shamoffour · 25/07/2017 11:40

I was told by someone only tell people you would need support from if god forbid the worst was to happen.
I've had 3mcs and 4dc and this advice been good for me.

CL1982 · 25/07/2017 12:00

We're definitely waiting until after the nuchal scan. Only because if we do have to make a tough decision, we'll be doing it more privately. I think everyone is different though. I know pre mcs i use be a little more relaxed about it.

Ameliablue · 25/07/2017 12:04

It also depends on your health, I'm on my third pregnancy with hyperemesis, so if I didn't tell anyone, they'd be guessing anyway.

Oysterbabe · 25/07/2017 12:22

After the results of the first trimester screening for us. It's a very personal decision.

Leither1982 · 25/07/2017 12:23

I waited till after the first scan and once I had my screening results back (for downs etc) because I was a bit anxious and wanted to feel more comfortable about it all first before sharing. We also enjoyed it being just our news for a while as once it's out of the bag then I found everyone has an opinion or an awful/lovely story to share! But essentially I don't think it matters when you tell people - there's no rule, just do whatever you want.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 25/07/2017 14:02

First time around I told my mum and dad at just over 6 weeks - I'd been really ill and rushed off for a scan as it was thought the pregnancy was ectopic. Parents were very worried and needed reassurance. Some people at work found out at about 8 weeks as I was rushing out of meetings to throw up! We told everyone else after my 12 week scan.

I'm now just over 9 weeks on my second pregnancy and we haven't really told anyone... but my stomach has popped out and it's pretty obvious. I think quite a few people know, but only a few have mentioned it!! We'll officially tell people after my 12 week scan but I expect to hear that a lot of people already knew!

AnUtterIdiot · 25/07/2017 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakingmad83 · 25/07/2017 17:20

First pregnancy told parents and inlaws at 9 weeks after reassurance scan was ok, then others after 12 week scan. This time round we didn't tell anyone till after we got screening results back at 13 weeks - I hadn't realised last time round that they also tested for Edward's and Patau's syndrome at the same time as Down's syndrome.

Gimmeallthecoffee · 25/07/2017 20:05

I would suggest waiting untill you have had your first trimester blood results back. We told everyone a couple of days after our scan. A couple of days later we received a phone call from the hospital to advise that baby has a high risk of down syndrome and that we would need further tests. I'm now waiting on further test result's and am having to deal with everyone congratulating me and asking how I feel. I feel absolutely terrified, but have to put on a brave face and tell everyone how excited and happy I am .... If I could go back, I would have waited untill after I had my blood results back! Xx

MrsMP123 · 28/07/2017 09:23

We're not having any blood tests done at the first scan, we've just opted for the dating scan.
Has anybody else just chosen the dating scan over the other options?

OP posts:
Howaboutanotherusername · 28/07/2017 09:50

hi Op i just had a dating scan but i think it's because i live in northern ireland and they don't offer these tests as terminations are still illegal over here but to be honest i hadn't really heard of the blood tests anyway! my ds is now 5weeks lying in my arms and perfect we had our 12weeks scan on 23rd dec so told wider family on boxing day we had already told both sets of parents siblings and close friends i know ppl who told everyone straight away though it's entirely up to you

congratulations and good luck!

TonicAndTonic · 28/07/2017 09:57

We didn't tell anyone at all until after getting the nuchal scan & blood results back, so 14 weeks. As a couple we decided the main support we needed if things went wrong was each other. We worried that after a loss, well-meaning parents would keep asking if I was pg again yet which would have been upsetting.
Still haven't told anyone apart from parents and siblings, and I'm now 15 weeks. I think the trouble is that I'm not getting many symptoms so don't feel pg at all!

donkey86 · 28/07/2017 10:02

We told both sets of parents about a week after the first scan, so at about 14 weeks. I told work at 15 weeks, then we told friends as and when we saw them over the next few weeks. I hadn't been keen to do a big announcement but when I got to 30 weeks we put it on Facebook as I realised otherwise a whole lot of friends we don't see often would be pretty surprised when baby photos started popping up a few weeks later.

ZaphodBeeblerox · 28/07/2017 10:10

Trust me, the pregnancy is LONG. You won't have wasted a big chunk of it if you wait to tell people until 12 weeks etc.

The only reason not to tell is that sometimes things don't work out. So if something is wrong at the scan (12 weeks) or if you get told something is wrong at the NT scan or the anomaly scan and you decide to terminate the pregnancy, or consider it even, would you want others to know?

Toomanygirlstoomanymanygirls · 28/07/2017 13:23

I didn't tell anyone other than family until after the 20 week scan both times. I know close friends who had bad news at this scan so I think I was scared. I am lucky though it didn't show on me so it was easy to hide x

pigyoinkoinks · 28/07/2017 13:37

I had to tell my boss at 8 weeks because I had awfully bad morning sickness...she then told the whole department store my news the same day!Angry

SheSaidHeSaid · 28/07/2017 15:08

Telling people is a personal thing and everyone does it differently.

I understand waiting until 12 weeks incase something goes wrong, however, in my view, if something were to go wrong I'd rather close friends know as I'd probably lean on them for support and it'd be easier to say something has gone wrong and I need support rather than 'I was pregnant but now I'm not and I need you'.

I wouldn't however announce it to the world that I am pregnant until I've been for that 12 week scan just because it's not really everyone's business, but then I'm also not planning on ever doing a facebook announcement (or similar) for the same reason.

That's just my view though and everyone is entitled to their own and to do things however they want. Your pregnancy, your body, your choice.

Alcea · 28/07/2017 15:16

We didn't tell anyone until the day we had the 12 week scans. Literally nobody, not even my mum who I tell everything to.

BeepBeepMOVE · 28/07/2017 15:21

3 months.

AccrualIntentions · 28/07/2017 15:23

We didn't tell a soul until after the 12 week scan. We're quite private people so wouldn't have wanted to have shared bad news with people should anything have gone wrong. And actually it was quite nice having that time where it was our little secret with each other.

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GetOutOfMyBath · 28/07/2017 15:26

It just feels like if we wait that long to tell family and friends, then a good chunk of the pregnancy has already gone without being able to celebrate it properly with loved ones

I don't understand what you think will happen on a continuous basis throughout the pregnancy Confused. Surely they will celebrate once i.e. when you announce it? Do you want weeks' of continued celebration?

Wolfiefan · 28/07/2017 15:29

I told immediate family quite soon. I would've wanted their support if things had gone badly. And boss. So I could have time for scan etc.
Nobody else until after the first scan. Have had mmc and mc in the past.

NerrSnerr · 28/07/2017 15:31

We told local friends after 12 weeks, we told family and friends who live away after 20 week scan and didn't mention it on FB. We weren't bothered about celebrating though, I always feel too rough when pregnant to want any kind of palaver!

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