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Shitty things people say

(75 Posts)
geologyrocks Mon 17-Jul-17 15:04:27

"D" mother came over this afternoon. I'm 17 weeks of with baby number 4. We are all very excited. Anyway, I have a big bump...number four after all! I'm still wearing jeans I bought pre preg..although they are a wee bit tighter than they used to be. Size 10. Of course mother says in a bitchy tone "wow, you've really spread out haven't you? You must be enjoying all the food"...like fuck off!!!

Of course on the way to my antenatal app on the bus crying my eyes oit. I couldn't pull myself together!! I just don't understand why people are so nasty for the sake of it!!

Justhadmyhaircut Mon 17-Jul-17 15:05:45

You reply. .
Yes dm coz I won't have time to bloody eat when it's born!!

AvoidingCallenetics Mon 17-Jul-17 15:08:13

That sounds like something my mum would say. Total tact bypass!
Sorry she upset you. If you are still in size 10 jeans then you are clearly not big!

My personal favourite with my 4th baby was 'was it planned'. Also 'why do want another one'. Oh and 'are you trying for a girl', said in front of my 3 perfect boys angry

geologyrocks Mon 17-Jul-17 15:14:47

Oh yes...the planned question. Literally from everyone.

They even ask before they can muster up a congratulations. I even got this from my doctor.

hayser33 Mon 17-Jul-17 15:24:50

My mother in law told me I looked like an elephant sad

mistletoeprickles Mon 17-Jul-17 15:46:32

Why the big age gap! 3 years of fertility treatment is fucking why!!!!

I'm not a fan of people and their need to voice everything that comes to mind

AnUtterIdiot Mon 17-Jul-17 15:53:48

"Oh, twins! Was it IVF?"

WHY DOES IT MATTER? (It wasn't. But why DOES it matter?)

mammabear4 Mon 17-Jul-17 16:01:19

Ridiculous, I'm 16 weeks and have been in my size 12 MATERNITY jeans for a month! Ok it's twins but still. Mothers are supposed to test us I think, I'm sure my mum does it to teach me resilience 😂

One of my personal faves - MIL, DD 8 months, whispered across to me at a restaurant "so, is Isadora still getting her personal feeds?" I replied (loudly) IF YOU MEAN BREASTFEEDING THEN YES JANET. Ffs. I felt like she'd been thinking that one up for ages.

Dede124 Mon 17-Jul-17 16:07:09

I hate it when people say "was it a surprise?" Or "was it planned?" I find it really rude and it makes me feel like a young child hmm also when people comment how big my bump is and say "ooo she's definitely going to
Come early!" angry

user1498550798 Mon 17-Jul-17 16:07:41

I would be over the moon to fit into size 10 jeans and I'm not pregnant!

When my mum was pregant she got 'are you pleased?' and 'oh, at your age I couldn't be bothered'.

She was pleased, and she could be bothered. Don't let it get you down!

iwannapuppy Mon 17-Jul-17 17:03:27

I had a big bump too and I got "ooh are you sure its just one in there?" And "wow aren't you big!" I used to burst into tears with it a lot.

poppylou27 Mon 17-Jul-17 17:22:50

Everyone keeps commenting on my 'blossoming baby bump'
....
I'm only 11 weeks!

From someone who's suffered from an eating disorder most of their lives this is not well received!

Also why do people think it's acceptable to grab your stomach (and sometimes boobs) to comment on the size of them whenever they like?'
I mean seriously! Hands off!!

Natsku Mon 17-Jul-17 17:25:15

I'm 12 weeks and my mum commented the other day that I look 5 or 6 months pregnant. Then said 'oh but you were huge last time so no surprise'

2ducks2ducklings Mon 17-Jul-17 17:40:22

I love the planned question. My midwife asked me that. And someone I haven't worked with or seen for two years. Granted there will be a nearly 10 year difference between my current youngest and the new one, so I can sort of see why people could think this was unplanned. But Id never ask that of anyone! (We had planned, it's not an accident or a surprise)

BingoFlamingos Mon 17-Jul-17 17:53:12

I approached My GP upon finding myself pregnant, who told me if I were her daughter (her DD and I are roughly the same age) she'd be devastated as I've got so much to do and I'm so young, and she then reffered me for an abortion... I haven't been back to my surgery I've not booked in with our midwife and I'm trying to change practices. Paid privately for an early and a 12 week, as well as 2 check ups but I would like to give birth in our NHS hospital.
FWIW I don't feel like I'm wasting my life or I'm too young. I'm in my twenties DP's in his thirties, have been together for several years, we're just about to buy our first house, I'm in a professional career, but one that works better than most around family life I had prevoius miscarriage And I've been told I may struggle to conceive so I see this little one as a real blessing.

This was eight weeks ago and whenever I think about it I'm filled with rage and shame.
People are shit

confusedat23 Mon 17-Jul-17 17:59:27

MIL continuously asks if we are happy and if we are pleased... and then when you answer she says but you are happy though? 🙄

Also my older sister keeps saying whenever she sees me at the moment Wow you are HUGE the babys not hiding now is he! Well you know i'm a week off being 7 months so i should hope i have a pretty good bump 😂

chelle85 Mon 17-Jul-17 18:00:01

BingoFlamingos - I hope you have put in a formal complaint. The GP should be struck off for something like that!

StylishDuck Mon 17-Jul-17 18:05:04

"Are you sure there's only one in there?"

Yes absolutely certain that the sonographer knew what she was talking about. I'm in my maternity jeans again at 15 weeks after living in leggings for the last 8 weeks or so.

I'm loving "personal feeds" though. That's hilarious grin

Kate544 Mon 17-Jul-17 18:30:26

I do understand why doctors would ask people if their pregnancies are planned though - they can't assume and it would be difficult for people who were unsure about their situation if GP just launched into next steps etc. I think they are probably trained to ask that question straight away to get it out the way. Work colleagues however - that's a different story!!! hmm

theotherendofthesockportal Mon 17-Jul-17 18:54:13

I opened the door to my mil to be greeted with "hello fatty." Should have known it was all downhill from there, she scoffed at the name we have chosen then condemned me for wanting the baby to sleep in the same as me for 6 months.

Same woman who told me that her son, my DH said his first word at around 2-3months and was weaned at 4 weeks old.

I shall be taking her words of advise and shoving them up her rectum.

mammabear4 Mon 17-Jul-17 19:08:01

sock I laughed out loud at your last sentence. MILs have got to be the worst. I sympathise with the name thing too - we have Isadora, who gets Dora. We first had "Isabella, oh sorry Isadora" for the first few months. Then we had "well we'll NOT call her Dora". That's fantastic. Well it's our child, and that is her name, so tough shit. They refuse to call her Dora to this day and are trying to foist "Izzy" upon her hmm

thatorchidmoment Mon 17-Jul-17 19:16:58

It's definitely medically relevant whether a pregnancy was planned or not, so please please don't be offended that your midwife or GP has asked you that! It really is their business to know. Often a woman will turn up telling the GP she is pregnant and it's not always immediately obvious whether or not it's good news and if she could possibly be there to discuss her options for continuing or ending the pregnancy. And some women may have had a contraception failure, or they may be on medication that needs to be switched or stopped in pregnancy, or they may have presented late, or they may not have taken folic acid... so many issues that could potentially come up.

HOWEVER, when I turned up for my booking apppintment with the midwife (DC4), she first congratulated me, then cut herself off and said, "oh, actually, is it congratulations? Or not? I mean, is this actually good news, or... not really!?"
Um, I have BOOKED IN FOR ANTENATAL CARE, you PLONKER! Kind of a clue that I am probably happy about this pregnancy and plan to continue it!! That was not the only issue with the 'care' I received from her, so I have quietly reassigned myself to the other midwife at our practice and made it clear I will not be returning to miss foot-in-mouth.

theotherendofthesockportal Mon 17-Jul-17 19:19:10

@mammabear4 we have picked Beatrice for our little girl, mil turned her face inside out and said "oh, people will call her Beatty." Which I happen to think is quite cute. And I love love Isadora! DH was keen on it, but we realised we can't have an I as the first name of our children as it will make a very unfortunate spelling with our surnames (double barrel 😮) initials

Brenna24 Mon 17-Jul-17 19:28:16

4th pregnancy, first 3 all miscarried. Someone who has been repeatedly told I do not want to talk about it, who only had to be told because the pregnancy meant I couldn't do something, sidling up to me to ask "You look pretty miserable, does that mean the baby has died already?" Now firmly blocked on all possible media and told never to come near me again in real life.

AmyB1986 Mon 17-Jul-17 19:32:21

Sock laughing at your last sentence 😂 my mil is no where to be seen thank god!

My nana however is... we have picked out a name that can be shortened to lizzy and my nan said 'why don't you just call her Lizzie then?!' Because we don't want to but Lizzie is cute and we want her to have a formal name too. The subject of her middle name also came up as DH's great aunt was called Lilly we've decided on that. Nan pipes up 'what about me?' For one you're not dead and two your name is a mouthful!
Also get comments like 'you're huge!' Well yes I have a baby inside of me not loads of food and 'is there just one then?' Yep just one nosey and 'was it planned?' Yes of course she was planned I would have been on contraception if I wasn't planning on having another baby.
I have devised a look so people bugger off now instead of continuing to talk to me now 😒

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