Depression during twin pregnancy.(4 Posts)
Hi, Thankyou for taking the time to read my post.
I have a 1 year old little boy and I am 12 week pregnant with twins
At first when I found out I was overjoyed because I thought I was going to have another miscarriage but instead discovered I'm having twins so I felt truly blessed!
Now I'm feeling very overwhelmed and worried of how I'll cope,
doesn't help that we've had negative comments from family and others who keep telling me how hard it's going to be (I already know but don't think all the negativity helps)
I'm worried about them being premature, my partner being out of work during this time, how I'll manage with 3 young children..
I don't drive so taking them all out on the bus etc..
I suffer with major depression and the depression was very bad after my firstborn so I'm scared about that happening again
I don't have anyone I can ask for help or support so it's just on me and my partner who works full time
I'm currently feeling very low in mood and not managing to get out much but I'm too worried about taking antidepressants during pregnancy so feel about lost and don't know how to get out of this bad episode I'm in.
Wish depression didn't always have to come back like a curse at a time when I should be happy and celebrating and it's back again and I'm struggling to get out of it 😔
Has anyone else felt similar.
I'm so sorry you feel like this Arianna. I'm having twins too (I'm 15 weeks) and like you I felt really overwhelmed when I found out. I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and have been worried about practicalities too, and having a high risk pregnancy and the possibility of premature birth. It is such a shock. How long have you known for? I found out 5 weeks ago and I am starting to get to grips with it now and am beginning to be really excited, but this really wasn't in my plan and I cried when I found out.
Speaking to a mum I know who has three year old twins really helped . She told me all the amazing things about having two babies and gave me loads of practical tips for making things easier when they come. If you don't know any twins mums there is a mumsnet multiples board and have you found TAMBA yet? They have a twin line you can call for advice too.
Twins aside, do you think it might be worth speaking to your GP or midwife about how low you are? I think there are antidepressants that can be safely taken in pregnancy but they may have other suggestions too, and just talking to someone might help.
I hope you start to feel better about it. It is so scary but such a special thing.
I don't know much about twins, though I believe there are lovely pluses in between the tough aspects. Mainly I didn't want to read and not reply. Definitely worth having a chat with your GP or midwife, pills might help even just for three months, plus they may hopefully refer you to someone to talk to - mindfulness exercises can be great and it's an extra someone to lean on. I think it's ok not to feel on the top of the world, some people glow in pregnancy others have the hardest time of their lives for so many reasons. It may be depression back for chemical/hormone reasons, or it may be a response the substantial news and totally understandable either way. Not been there as this is my first, but have in other ways so know there's quite a bit of help out there online and in RL, if you don't succeed with the first GP/Midwife you speak to just ask another one till you get there. Thinking of you.
I am not expecting twins but I've had lovely conversations with various (ok 4!) twin mums because I'm so fascinated (and slightly jealous) with how they do it.
All said how overwhelmed they felt when they found out (they already had one child so they knew about the newborn days).
All said how it wasn't like they expected it to be even in the early months: for one, one baby was a dream sleeper and that meant she could handle the other and toddlers easier; I remember one saying that the two of them together were a breeze compared to her first child.
All said that the twin bond was just so incredible to watch when they were growing up and -yes- it became easier because they could entertain themselves.
I know there are lots of other amazing pluses and I'm not the right person to put them forward! But even I can recognise the positivity here.
Get working on strategies right now and put support networks in place so you can support your mental health should you experience bad depression after. Then you will feel better supported.
But this isn't a repeat of your first / you may feel differently.
Please don't let yourself be pulled down by others negativity. Allow yourself to enjoy a different future: You are truly blessed by two new wonderful human beings who you will do an excellent job with.
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