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Pregnancy

Did you find out the sex of your baby? Why?

195 replies

Rosehyd2 · 26/06/2017 17:05

I always thought I'd want to know, that I couldn't wait, it'd make it feel so real. Now I'm pregnant I was certain I didn't want to know, in case they told me wrong. I don't have a preference but tend to get carried away day dreaming with ideas.

Now, I'm not sure if I do or don't want to know! My husband didn't but now does - we are both confused.

We have a lot of time to decide but keen to hear others experiences.

Did you or will you find out? What swayed it for you?

OP posts:
Namechange2837 · 26/06/2017 17:08

I'd had 2 miscarriages and we struggled to conceive for years before finally getting pregnant so for us being able to put a little identity to that baby was a big thing. It helped me create a bond and attachment that I (personally) wouldn't have felt the same if we didn't find out.
I totally respect those that don't find out though, but for us it was a big and special moment. We took the parents out that weekend and told them over dinner too, it was lovely ♥

biffyboom · 26/06/2017 17:12

I wanted to be more prepared. Also, I didnt want to only purchase neutral items in advance.

MotherOfBeagles · 26/06/2017 17:13

We found out and all we heard from friends and colleagues is that we were stupid to do so. Drove me potty! It's my baby and if I want to know goddamnit I'll know lol.

In the end I'm so glad we did, he's a little person to me now. I've always been impatient and I like to research research research so it fits in with my style of coping with life lol. Also knowing he's a boy in advance helped because I suddenly realised I have no idea to look after a little boy! Cue lots of googling lol.

In the end I think it's a totally personal decision and do what makes you happiest.

MrsPringles · 26/06/2017 17:13

I was too impatient to wait until he was born Blush

SleepFreeZone · 26/06/2017 17:14

First time we wanted to know because I wanted to be mentally prepared for who was coming. Second time (after three miscarriages) we opted for the Harmony test so found out the sex at 13 weeks. I suppose I could have said no, but it was written on the piece of paper I then received in the post so I knew I'd look anyway.

NellieFiveBellies · 26/06/2017 17:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yogagirl123 · 26/06/2017 17:15

Yes we found out with both of ours, never regretted the decision.

goingagain · 26/06/2017 17:15

Have had three and didn't find out with any of them. Nice to have a surprise on the day - seems there are so few real nice surprises in life!

I always dress my babies in white for the first couple of months so didn't need to worry about clothes, and don't really like the twee blue/pink thing anyway.

troodiedoo · 26/06/2017 17:15

Wanted to know if I was right. I wasn't.

Anatidae · 26/06/2017 17:16

Yes we did. No preference at all, just curiosity. Wanted to think about names etc.

Callmecordelia · 26/06/2017 17:16

I did with both of mine. I'm a planner who doesn't like surprises. That doesn't change with being pregnant!

Oly5 · 26/06/2017 17:17

Didn't find out for two pregnancies, did for one. I much prefer not knowing... It's such a lovely surprise at the time of birth... And a really nice surprise for all your family and friends!

Oly5 · 26/06/2017 17:18

Ps I also chose neutral clothes and had names for both sexes sorted. You hVe nine months to think about it after all!

BendydickCuminsnatch · 26/06/2017 17:18

This time yes, wanted to sort out DS' clothes, wanted to prepare DS more specifically etc. Also part of me was imagining having a girl and didn't want to let that grow in my mind. I had no inkling either way and wanted to be able to visualise the baby better. It's another boy which is lovely and fabulous!

Didn't find out with DS, had no desire and as he was first didn't mind either way and I had a v v v v v strong inking he was a boy. DH announced he was a boy and it wasn't that special, I was loopy from 40 min labour with no pain relief and I was just like 'yeah, I know!'. Grin

However, remember, it's a surprise no matter when you find out!

jimijack · 26/06/2017 17:19

No we didn't until the birth.

After 7 miscarriages we gave up all hope and stopped trying.
After being unwell following the last miscarriage I thought the miscarriage was not complete so went for a scan to check.
There was a tiny baby with a heart beating away. Total shock and surprise, so we wanted that to continue.

Even had an amnio and they offered to tell us the sex, we said no.

Had a c section and was presented with the meat & 2 veg that is my son, they "showed" me instead of telling me!!!
Wonderful!

NataliaOsipova · 26/06/2017 17:23

A) I had a preference and I agreed with the perceived wisdom that it makes it easier to come to terms with it if you find out beforehand

B) We have scans these days and every HCP would know what the sex was. I didn't see the point in asking for some information and not the rest of it. The sonographer would know what sex my baby was; why should I tell her not to tell me? I'm not terribly sentimental, though, so this may just be me.

Tryingno1 · 26/06/2017 17:28

We haven't found out. I'm an obsessive compulsive planner and for the first time in my life I have no interest to find out. I'm
Looking fwd to dh telling me at the end of labour and I have no preference as to the sex. I've bought some neutral cute clothes and will get colour specifics once we know. I'm So excited to know wot it is, it's like the most Exciting surprise!!! we also don't have a sex preference

I had 6mc and years of infertility ttc what will hopefully by my first.....and I don't know if that made me feel this way or not. I feel totally connected to the little one inside me and knowing sex wouldn't change that.
I had the harmony test but told them to send me the paperwork without it on.

Good luck and congrats :)

NameChange30 · 26/06/2017 17:30

Yes, we found out. The main reason was impatience! Also because I wanted to refer to the baby as "he" or "she" rather than "it" or "they". And it was half the work to shortlist names.

Nothing to do with wanting to get gendered clothes or other things. Everything we bought was gender neutral even after we found out it was a boy. We got far too many plenty of "boy" clothes as gifts anyway!

I did have a slight preference for a girl and was disappointed but thankfully I got over it within 24 hours! I would have hated to have felt like that just after the birth.

BayLeaves · 26/06/2017 17:39

it's a surprise no matter when you find out!

This is my thinking too! My dad insisted that we hid the gender from him until the birth, which was really inconvenient as we had to avoid saying certain things and using gender pronouns etc. He kept trotting out the line about how there are so few nice surprises in life etc, which I just don't understand as it's a still a surprise when you find out during the pregnancy. In fact I would argue you are able to enjoy the surprise more as you can really let the excitement set in, whereas immediately after birth you're either knackered, doped up on pain relief, knocked off your feet by the arrival of your lovely baby, or all of the above!

Namechange2837 · 26/06/2017 17:42

Agreed Bayleaves - also, the day of birth is going to be the best day of your life and full of excitement and surprise anyway - you're meeting your baby for the first time, what could beat that? I can't imagine anyone saying "the best day of my life was when baby was born. I wish I hadn't known the sex before hand though, it would have made it much more special and exciting".

GirlcalledJames · 26/06/2017 17:57

We found out because we had a slight preference so wanted to adjust if need be long before the birth.
However, ivf and pregancy is long and boring so it's been nice to enjoy the surprise (we found out at 11w).

SheepyFun · 26/06/2017 17:57

Yes we did. Partly to make the pregnancy more real for DH - people are male and female, not 'it'. I also had a strong suspicion I'd end up with a c-section (and did indeed need an elcs for medical reasons, though HCP's thought I would have a low-risk pregnancy at 20 weeks) - it's not quite the same as a nice surprise at the end of labour.

I also had a slight preference, and was glad to get over it early!

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ForeverAndAlwaysTired · 26/06/2017 17:59

I didn't find out with my first but I found out with my 2nd. If I have a 3rd I'll find out again. I do prefer knowing. I was so tired and in shock when I gave birth to my first I didn't give a shit about checking his sex.

This time around I've been excited since we found out. I love calling baby him and he rather than it. DS1 and I talk about his little brother. I've enjoyed finding out everything I can about this baby.
I don't have a name picked out because I want to meet him first. I've bought mostly gender neutral clothes in white and yellow. I've even got a few pink and purple Sleepsuits. I just buy the baby clothes I like.

Eolian · 26/06/2017 18:04

I found out with both of mine because I couldn't see any reason not to. I don't really get the 'but it should be a surprise' thing tbh. How much of a surprise can it be, when there are only two possibilities? Grin

flumpybear · 26/06/2017 18:06

I wanted to feel I was bonding with a real live future daughter or son, it knowing I couldn't visualise how it would turn out, imagining all sorts of things, plus I wanted to get used to calling her and him by name as we'd pre-decided on names but wanted to be sure which really helped too
I always wanted to know .... I'm a scientist though so is my husband so perhaps that's why?

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