Your relationship in early pregnancy

[Thattwatoverthere]

Hi all
I just want some advice on whether my situation is normal. I'm 7 weeks today and have felt like absolute crap for the last 2, nauseous, tired and constipated which coupled with my fear of losing the baby has made me kind of retreat into myself.
Plus I'm trying to keep the flat nice so am trying to keep on top of that whereas he's not bothered really.
He's miserable, I'm miserable and he's said to me this morning that we need to talk tonight because lately we just haven't been.
Now I'm emotional on top of all of these things and have to get through a day at work.
Has anyone else's relationship fallen down a bit at the beginning, can it recover? Can't see a way out of it right now. He is generally supportive btw and very excited about the baby.

[HN42]

I'm sure you'll sort things out, me and my DH had a few fall outs at the beginning as I became sick with hyperemesis and he was still expecting me to pull my weight around the house like normal by cleaning and cooking. He eventually understood that it was unrealistic and over time he's accepted having to do more. When hormones are raging it is so easy for little things to become big things and cause friction between you and your other half.

Your other half needs to accept your hormones are all over the place at the moment, it is very hard in those first 12 weeks when you feel rubbish and you're worrying so he just needs to know that at the moment that's how it is. It will get better, your hormones and nausea will settle down after around 12-14 weeks and you will start to feel a bit more human and hopefully a bit less emotional and worried. Your other half may just want to talk because he's worried about you or because he wants to iron out whatever is going on at the moment which is effecting your relationship, but you will get out of this rut you're in by talking to each other.

[Springflower3]

Hi ya, I couldn't not comment because I thought I'm in a similar situation! I am approx 5w 3D today, since I have found out I'm pg I am literally consistently worrying I'm going to lose baby and same as you tired, but I'm easily irritated! Me and dh have don't nothing but kill each other this week.... he is off sick for the week with a bad knee so he is grumpy about that and I just feel crap lol!! TBH id say it's all hormones, shock on both sides, excitement..... everything mashed in to one! I would agree he maybe wants to talk to find out what your thinking cause as you said you have retreated. I do feel sorry for men as they are pretty much sidelined at this stage and we have so much going on in our bodies that they have no clue about! Please try not to panic xx

[ihatemenrightnow]

Hey ladies!

I fell pregnant very quickly by accident but a happy surprise! Me and boyfriend had only been together for 4 months! Whoops!!! He was very keen on having the baby so we are currently 6 months gone now!

HOWEVER ... in this time we have argued split up and cried quite a few times. The hormones are outrageous and I could be happy one min and crying and upset the next and honestly because men can't see hormones they dont really get it at first and they get quite stressed out and sometimes react badly. I've realised that this is a way of them dealing with it all be it not the best way but they are only human too.

We have recovered hugly now and are sooooo looking forward to meeting our baby girl! It has been one hell of a journey but if you guys agreed to have a baby together you must still love each other very much and the rest will hopefully fall into place.

My mum gave me the advice that sealed the deal for me she said " if you broke up with your boyfriend and in 10 years time your daughter asked why you broke up, would it be a good enough reason" and honestly the answer was no having silly rows isn't a good enough reason to leave. You will get through this ❤️❤️❤️

[Thattwatoverthere]

Thanks all of you, sometimes you just need to hear similar stories to get out of the hormone fog! That's really helped.
I've just spoken to him and we seem ok so will have a proper talk when I get home. Just wondering if I can get away with a nap for an hour first haha.
ihate I'm in a similar situation, we've not been back together long after years apart so still learning about each other again I suppose. Not quite the way I expected to spend the first few months back together but hey!
I do feel bad that he wants to do stuff together and I'm either asleep or zoned out on the sofa, I'm not a lot of fun right now!

[Thingymaboob]

It's very hard in the beginning. I'm very lucky as my DH is amazing and does everything. I've been really sick in this pregnancy and he's been a rock! I'm just a useless nauseous blob with no energy.

[Leither1982]

I'd like to think my partner and I have a very secure and happy relationship but I've found that we've struggled quite a bit since I got pregnant. I think hormones and anxiety have made me either retreat into myself or make me feel resentful towards him. I also found he was very naive about what pregnancy would be like for me, he just liked the thought of having a family but hadn't thought about the reality of the pregnancy and birth etc-which I found very irritating! Things are getting better though, but I think it's inevitable that such a life changing thing can cause you to question what you are both doing and what your values are. I think we both needed a bit of time to adjust to the news and what it meant so I've also made sure to give him some space and to spend time with friends etc. But I know what you mean about the household cleaning etc-our flat is a total mess at the moment but I just don't have the energy for it so I can put up with that for now.

[LittleWingSoul]

I basically can't stand my DH at the moment and whilst I am trying to bite my tongue as much as possible because I know IABU sometimes it just slips out. Tearful, angry, resentful, shirt fuse...

And just now I totally lost it at the kids just as DH was coming through the front door... he told me to leave the house for a bit so it must have looked bad

Currently sat in the car because I can't deal with 'going for a walk' - I just need 10 minutes where someone isn't demanding my attention physically or otherwise and I'm not surrounded by toys, noise or ripped up bits of tissue (toddler DC's new fun game).

Arghhhhhhh vent over!

[LittleWingSoul]

Hasten to add I am not driving in the car, literally just sitting here going nowhere