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Not ready to tell

(7 Posts)
hotwater Sat 03-Jun-17 22:58:10

I am 10 weeks pregnant and have only told a few close friends and some people at work who needed to know. This afternoon at a gathering of mostly family DM had a few two many drinks and started telling people. Family I am ok with- we are all close- but there were also people there who I barely know - acquaintances at best. I was really upset with her and am still very upset now, although there is obviously nothing I can do. How can I reconcile myself to all these people knowing such a personal thing before I was ready? And knowing before many of the people I love? At the moment I feel totally gutted but don't want to be stressed out as not good for the baby. I'm also totally terrified for scan now in case something is wrong and all these people will have to be told.
I don't know what I am hoping for really, maybe just sympathy and reassurance that I am not being unreasonable (DM thinks I am).

Babyonboard101 Sat 03-Jun-17 23:00:34

Not unreasonable. Your DM needs to learn to keep her mouth shut imo. If I were u I wouldn't tell her anything else to do with it unless it's an emergency like something is wrong, no scan appointments nothing. Not until she learns that it's not her news its yours and she cannot under and circumstances go round telling people when you weren't comfortable with it

hotwater Sat 03-Jun-17 23:23:47

Thank you. I think beneath all the hormones and upset I know I am not unreasonable and hope that DM will realise this too once she calms down / sobers up / reflects. We are close and I know she will be sad to have upset me. Just gutted that there's actually nothing that I can do about it and even if she is sorry all those people now know sad

BobbleHat42 Sun 04-Jun-17 03:56:47

Definitely not unreasonable. What a shame. She really crossed a line and will realise that when she sobers up. Does this mean you have to tell other people now too so that they hear it from you rather than through the grapevine? Hoping it's a self contained group of acquaintances and you don't need to worry about that. I'd be furious so you have my sympathy xx

hotwater Sun 04-Jun-17 04:41:50

Bobble, that is exactly it. I wanted to tell my best friend in person after the scan but as her family know some of the people who were there I am now thinking it would be better to text her as would hate for her to hear it from anyone else. Feel like I have been forced into spreading the news before I am ready.

BobbleHat42 Sun 04-Jun-17 05:31:03

Oh no that's rubbish ☹️ I'd arrange to see her in person as soon as you can and tell her your DM has really landed you in it. At least then if she does hear it first she'll understand but you've still got a shot at telling her in person.

Also being your best friend I'm sure she'll be wonderfully supportive with the situation as it is - she'll understand you're obviously happy to be pregnant but not quite ready to shout it from the rooftops until your scan.

It might be nice to have someone in RL to hand hold and roll their eyes with you at your DM's atrocious behaviour too.

hotwater Sun 04-Jun-17 09:57:13

Thank you. That's great advice and if I didn't feel so anxious I would do that today. At the moment I don't think I can bear the thought of yet one more person knowing, I'm so scared I will miscarry and all these people will know. I want to enjoy telling the people I love, not burst into tears and feel like I have been forced into it.

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