I was so chilled about having a second baby, was trying and had in my head that I would know what I was doing with a second baby. Now the panic has set in.. my DS is 2.5 and a handful. He's a really good boy, not in nursery yet he will be starting when he is 3. My DP works nights too, how do other people cope with two? Am I going to be a zombie?? I can't sleep when baby sleeps because I have a toddler to look after. Will my DS hate me because I'm too tired to do anything?? Someone calm me down please
Calm down you'll be fine! Have you started to prepare ds for the new baby with stories etc? Have you got a good routine with him already? If so, then that's half the battle. Ds1 was just 1 when dd1 arrived and I found that a good solid routine helped, along with getting out of the house everyday. I recently had dd2 and was worried that I wouldn't cope with a 3yo, 2yo and newborn but actually, it's working out ok so far. Your ds is the age now where you can take him to playgrounds and softplay and he doesn't need to be lifted onto slides etc so they're always a good place to go to let him burn off some energy. Also, give him helper 'jobs' to do when you need to focus on the baby- fetching nappies and wipes, things like that.
Yeah, he's had the same routine for months now and is doing well. He knows a baby is coming soon, he has been saying he will help him/her in the bath and things so I'm pretty sure he understands, I'm just worried he will feel pushed out because I'm too tired. I'm worried about birth too, I had a retained placenta last time and stayed in hospital for 4 days. He's only ever stayed out round the corner at my mums for one night! Thank you for your reply!
I was amazed at how easy a newborn was compared to a toddler when I had DS2. They sleep so much, first time round you didn't realise it because you were all "BABY" "PANIC" but actually you know what you are doing this time round, it's not new, you've got this. I even had a third so it can't have been that terrible! DS1 turned out to be an awesome big bother, he could make DS2 laugh way before I did. It's not going to be completely easy but trust me it's not going to be impossible either.
I had a retained placenta with DS1 as well, ended up in theatre without my PFB, was so chuffed when it all went smoothly with DS2. Good luck and enjoy.
Thank you for replying! That's what I'm scared of, I was so tired with DS1 and I didn't have to do anything all day apart from look after a newborn. And now I'm gonna have a toddler too. I'm really hoping it doesn't happen again, but im just telling myself I will end up staying in so if all goes well it's a bonus!
You grab everything, bung it in a bag and follow the toddler! I made some amazing friends and felt like a very tired version of superwoman. It is totally do-able, I think because you have no choice but to get out there with your first born you just do it. Plus the first time round you don't realise how portable a newborn is, they stay exactly where you leave them, it's great, toddlers are all over the shop!
Yy to newborns being portable! With my first, I was half afraid to bring him anywhere and would lug bagfuls of crap baby stuff with me everywhere. Now I just make sure I have snacks for the toddlers, a spare sleepsuit, few nappies/wipes and my boobs for food and off we go. 10 week old dd has already been to playgroups, playgrounds, softplay, parks, the zoo and the beach. She slept through most of it!
Glad to have seen this thread. 22 weeks and suddenly hit me too other day. Like how do you make time for both to have attention. Dd is centre of my world and soon enough shes going to have to share me!
Waves! I am 36 weeks with number 2, dd1 is 3 in July and my husband works nights too! Big difference for me is my Dd has been in nursery since I went back to work when she was 8m old, and I only started mat leave this week... am worried about august, no nursery and paternity leave will have finished 😮
Also this may be the point where you let your standards slip a little. When I say slip, I mean just let the TV take over, don't make a million little meals from scratch, lie on the sofa, lie in the garden, just find lots of places you can lie down where the toddler will be distracted. The absolute best bit is realising you don't have to share your love, you get a magic new giant portion of love for the baby as well. Feeling a bit nostalgic, my PFB and DS2 who made me worry like you are doing now are both taller than me. And I love them just the same and worry even more I think!
I am panicky already and I'm not even 12 weeks, my dd1 will be just 2 when baby comes. Absolutely shitting myself so placemarking for reassurance too! I always think loads of people have more than one it can't be that bad 😬😬😬