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Pregnant after two miscarriages

(16 Posts)
Ohwhatbliss Tue 30-May-17 04:22:35

I had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks in November and then another at 11 weeks at the end of March. I've just found out I'm pregnant again.

I think I dealt with the losses pretty well, of course I was sad, and more so after the second one as it's harder to accept it as just "one of those things". Now I'm pregnant again and I have no idea how I'm meant to do this. I tested yesterday two days before period due and there was a clear line so did a digital which was positive. My overwhelming reaction was "oh shit, here we go again". I just don't know how to cope with the emotional rollercoaster (although at the moment I feel absolutely nothing)

I'm over 35 so there's a good chance I will miscarry again, although I do have one child so that's a positive. We had more or less decided that this is our last try so that's weighing on my mind too.

I'm not looking for reassurance I guess so much as someone to say they understand as they've been there, and any advice gratefully received!

MiniAlphaBravo Tue 30-May-17 04:47:08

Been there. Had two miscarriages before dc1. Now have two healthy children and no more miscarriages. No asvicd really excelttry not to focus on the losses.. statistically you're far more likely to go on to have a healthy baby... it's hard to do this but take one day at a time. Everyday the odds get better.
Good luck smile

MiniAlphaBravo Tue 30-May-17 04:48:15

Oh dear. Should say 'no advice really except try'

Ohwhatbliss Tue 30-May-17 04:50:34

Thank you so much. Why is it, although you don't wish the sadness on anyone else, it feels so much better when you know you're not alone?

peripateticparents Tue 30-May-17 04:52:04

Been there too. 3 healthy kids now, all born after 35 ( and the last after 40). I understand how you feel. Wishing you all the best

Ohwhatbliss Tue 30-May-17 05:01:08

Thank you for replying. Did your anxiety decrease after the time passed that you lost the earlier pregnancies? My last was at 11 weeks so I can't imagine I will feel much until then (my default setting is ignore and feel nothing 😳)

Oysterbabe Tue 30-May-17 06:31:09

This is the thread for you, lots of people who know what you're going through.
Fingers crossed for you 🤞

HipsterRaccoon Tue 30-May-17 07:18:17

I was in the same position a few years ago, and it was hell. Have you had any testing to explain the reason for the miscarriages? You may have just been unlucky twice and this time will be fine. For me I had an underlying disorder which was picked up and treated by the recurrent miscarriage clinic after three MCs. I got there in the end, had counselling during my successful pregnancy and just about held things together. Good luck flowers there are no easy answers.

sebashocked Tue 30-May-17 07:23:00

Been there. And it's so miserable not being able to be excited about the pregnancy. I was horribly anxious throughout to be honest but once I got past the cut off for viability (24 weeks) things did get easier. Hope this one sticks.

BeyondHope Tue 30-May-17 07:40:57

I'm sorry to read about your losses ohwhat and I understand what you are going through. I had a 13 week loss last year and 3 earlier miscarriages since. I have a 3 year old DS who was conceived very easily with no problems.

I am literally taking it day by day. I have had spotting on and off which hasn't helped my anxiety and I'm just hoping it doesn't get worse. I have an early scan booked through my local EPU on Thursday when I will be just over 7 weeks. Do you have that option where you are? I wish you all the best.

Ohwhatbliss Tue 30-May-17 08:02:47

Thanks all for the replies and thank you for the link to the thread, I did look for one but wasn't sure where to go.

I live overseas and have private health cover so I can have whatever testing is recommended whenever, very lucky. My OB said the first test he would advise is to look for balanced translocations. At this stage we would y undertake IVF so doesn't seem much point in having the test if we won't pursue the "fix". We agreed we would have this try and if things go wrong again will reassess.

I do wonder whether I should speak to someone but don't know what I would say tbh or what anyone could say that would make this any easier

Ohwhatbliss Tue 30-May-17 08:03:20

Meant to say wouldn't do IVF!

Ohwhatbliss Tue 30-May-17 08:04:48

And yes, will have an early scan, then scan at 11 weeks before blood draw for Harmony (this is when we discovered our last loss after good scans at 7 and 9 weeks)

conkerchops Tue 30-May-17 08:14:27

I am in exactly the same boat as you mmc in October at 8 weeks and another at 12 weeks in march and just got bfp on Sunday! We do have two dc's already aged 8 and 9 but am now 38 so drs think it is age mainly ???? We do know that last miscarriage was due to trisomy 15 - and they said that was incredibly bad luck and v v unlikely to happen again.
Like you I know I won't properly 'attach' until we are hopefully past the point of the miscarriage and in the meantime I plan to have loads of distractions and to be v v busy to keep my mind off it - it's so hard when the innocence and excitement of getting a bfp is taken away - I guess the default mode in my mind is to assume pregnancy end similarly but I know we have to fight hard to avoid that! We have had counselling since October and that has helped loads!

peripateticparents Tue 30-May-17 22:16:37

Bliss, I lost 4 between 9 and 11 weeks. Definitely felt less concerned after the first trimester for the others. Particularly with the harmony results too.

peripateticparents Tue 30-May-17 22:19:03

Suggest you also test for aps as the treatment is so simple!

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