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Am I the only one....

(19 Posts)
twinkle1972 Mon 29-May-17 19:34:24

who feels their partner is being unreasonable....?!

This weekend has been a nightmare. He came to my booking appointment on Friday as I have a needle phobia but then moaned about how long it took and even today is saying he will probably get in trouble tomorrow for being out of work 1.5 hours.

He's constantly making digs about me going to bed early (10pm) and not being in the mood for sex as much as prior to pregnancy! I am nearly 10 weeks and exhausted after work!

Then yesterday afternoon asked what he fancied doing to get the reply 'drink'. We were having an afternoon together and I didn't fancy sitting in pub on soft drinks all day but feel out of order if I protest, and it would probably cause a row.

We don't live together as both have our own houses with older children living with us. If I'm honest I didn't think i would be doing this again, I'm nearly 45 hmm

Frillyhorseyknickers Mon 29-May-17 19:43:52

What does he add to your life? He sounds like a complete toad.

ijustwannadance Mon 29-May-17 19:46:41

Why are you having a baby with this tosser?

Thingymaboob Mon 29-May-17 19:48:22

Good job you've got your own life / house. He sounds awful! He sounds like a spoiled brat.

twinkle1972 Mon 29-May-17 20:41:39

I know some will say I should know better but I thought my menopause has started, hot flushes, night sweats etc. When I did the test I was shocked to say the least. Don't get me wrong I'm now happy to be pregnant but I honestly never expected such hurtful, inconsiderate behaviour. I am feeling pretty low so please be kind x

MrsBobDylan Mon 29-May-17 21:35:10

Am sorry to hear your partner is behaving in this shitty way. I cannot be kind about his behaviour as it is awful, especially at a time when you need support.

The silver lining in your situation is that you don't live together. Unless you think there is a chance he'll change, I would think that most people would find him intolerable. The thing that struck me was that you didn't feel able to say you didn't want to spend the afternoon in a pub because it would cause a row. That is just not acceptable and no way for you to have to live.

twinkle1972 Mon 29-May-17 21:37:38

Yes I have my own home which I own. I live with my 21 year old daughter. Have came to bed to try and relax x

ijustwannadance Mon 29-May-17 21:41:10

He has showed his true colours now.
If not happy to be pregnant would you not consider a termination?flowers

twinkle1972 Mon 29-May-17 22:08:32

I'm not unhappy to be pregnant, once over the initial shock. I'm just thinking how tough this could be at 45 if I end up alone. However I've had a scan and seen heartbeat so couldn't consider a termination. I'm just so sad and frustrated that he seems to enjoy winding me up at times until I feel fit to burst! He's good at that confused

MrsBobDylan Mon 29-May-17 22:28:32

Ideally no one would have to parent alone but you have to think if he's actually bringing anything other than stress and shittyness to the table and whether that will change once the baby's here?

If he's bemoaning lack of sex, having to give 1.5 hours of work time to support you and wanting to spend the afternoon drinking in the pub, that's not going to get better once baby is here.

Sorry, but he sounds like a selfish man child.

twinkle1972 Mon 29-May-17 22:55:17

I know, and I just feel so scared by it all. I had 3 children when I was married, all grown up now. I just remember how different those pregnancies were...I felt there were two parents rather than feeling so alone ATM

hopsalong Tue 30-May-17 07:16:16

Ugh, he does sound useless, but maybe is also struggling with feelings about an unexpected pregnancy. How old is he? Is he younger than you? What was his reaction when he first found out?

On positive side, given that you've decided to continue anyway, you're a really experienced mum now and you've got this! Even if you end up doing it by yourself, I bet it will be much easier than it would have been 20+ years ago with your other children.

Smurfy23 Tue 30-May-17 08:11:44

Have you spoken to him about how he feels about the pregnancy? He seems to be acting quite childish and expecting things not to change when they all will. Is this his first child? Agree with PP, he might have a whole load of different emotions that he cant deal with.

twinkle1972 Tue 30-May-17 08:28:14

He's almost 48 and no stranger to children, he's got 5 already! He actually wanted us to have a baby but I thought I was too old! I'm just struggling with some of the things he shouted at me yesterday...another classic being I didn't 'thank' him for driving me to my midwife appointment! It just wasn't like this when I had my other 3 sad

twinkle1972 Tue 30-May-17 08:31:20

I spent almost 2 hours yesterday composing a long thought out email. Was careful with my words so not to appear accusing or judgemental, and once he got it I asked could we talk. His response was he isn't willing to talk about it but will reply to my email in his own time. Still waiting.....

Smurfy23 Tue 30-May-17 08:48:26

Oh wow...find it odd that he knew exactly what he was getting into and then is acting like that.

Give him a bit longer with composing his response but maybe start preparing for life without him- one child is enough, you don't need two....

And next time he demands an apology like that I'd tell him where he could put it as well....then blame it on the hormones afterwards

SparklyMagpie Tue 30-May-17 08:55:39

Oh OP sad sorry to hear you're feeling like this

I know you're worried about coping on your own with baby but you're already doing it

It'll be even harder having that unsupportive twat around. You've done it before although with your EXH but you can do it!

Sending love

twinkle1972 Tue 30-May-17 09:04:54

Thank you girls, I just feel so alone and here is the only place I can talk. I haven't told anyone else I'm pregnant yet as I'm not sure how my family will take it and want them to know first. I will tell them in a few weeks. Won't really have much choice anyway will I wink. Am in work today feeling tearful and yet trying to smile and act like I'm fine.

JellyBean89 Tue 30-May-17 10:15:36

I'm so sorry you are putting up with him. The way he is acting is horrible especially after he wanted a baby! Honestly before I read his age I assumed he was really young and feeling lost. He needs to grow up, you do not need this kind of stress xx

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