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First midwife visit, at home?!(40 Posts)
Just got my letter through about my first midwife visit, and it stays that my first appointment will be at home. Is this normal?
I just assumed it would be at the GP surgery.
Usually this wouldn't be an issue, but we are in the process of getting a new kitchen which my husband is doing himself so it is very slow progress and means the whole downstairs of the house is an absolute tip. The kitchen is of course un usable and in a state, and everything that is usually in the kitchen cupboards is in boxes piled up in the sitting room. Not really a suitable environment!
Did anyone else have their first appointment at home?
I did! Seems to be what they do in my area, although subsequent appointments have been at the GP surgery. It was very brief, just form filling really and I'm sure they have seen all sorts so I wouldn't worry about a bit of DIY going on, they will understand!
I sympathise about the kitchen, I am in exactly the same position. DH is doing a good job but my goodness it is slow progress, and today he is fitting the sink so all our water is switched off!!! House currently looks a bit like a bomb site...
Thank you @mrsbumblebees that makes me feel a bit better that I'm not alone! Assuming that they won't go upstairs, I might try and get some of the boxes moved up into the spare room and try to make sure it's as tidy as it can be under the circumstances! Just seems strange the midwives trailing round people's houses when we could just go to them, although I guess people with bad sickness will probably appreciate it!
I'll give them a call tomorrow anyway and arrange the appointment and just apologise for the mess when they get here!
We don't have a sink at the moment but the water is back on. Thankfully our bathroom is downstairs so we have been getting water and doing dishes in there 😂. Hopefully not too long left now!
They have to come out to the house now , safeguarding by the sound of it.
I don't think it's DIY they are on the look out for.
I've got one end of July (due September) but after a previous loss I refuse to have any baby stuff in the house till he's safely here. HV said that shouldn't be an issue.
It sounds like you are with a caseloading team if they are coming to you. Caseloading midwifery is amazing and a much more personalised and supportive service than bog standard midwifery. You see the same midwifes all the way through from first appointment to your postnatal care. Lucky you!
Mine was six years ago. But the midwife was a friend of mine, which was so lovely. I think she would have come to the house anyway. She also asked the domestic violence question, which was a bit strange as she is my friend and knows me well. I know they have to ask, and I might have been having problems in secret, bit funny when a friend asks.
I had my first one at home and DH was building an extension in his spare time. We didn't even have a roof on one room and there was mess and dust everywhere. The midwife didn't say anything about it or ask to come back before the baby wasn't born etc so I wouldn't worry about moving anything upstairs if I were you. I did say that the work should be finished by the time the baby was here and that was enough for her.
Just to add that she didn't look around the rest of the house at all, she literally only saw the living room, politely turned down a cup of tea and was gone again within about 10 minutes
They will have seen much worse than boxes of stuff moved for a DIY project.
Honestly Icant I think it's more potential abuse, neglect, DV etc they are looking for.
I thought it was because of my past MH issues but it turns out it's my entire area.
I think it's a good thing some of the news stories lately have been heart breaking. That little girl on the bus in particular maybe a service like this could of flagged something up.
After the baby was born my midwife and health visitor came
To my home. As they did with my friends in the area I live in (naice area ). Never had a pre-birth standard midwife
Visit at home,
Only when they were daily
Checking my urine for preeclampsia
Thanks for the reassurance all!
After the kitchen we still have a new boiler, some rewiring and some roof/chimney work to go! It's a really old house we bought a year ago that does need a lot doing, but I'm sure we will get there before January! I hope!
I was fully expecting a health visitor /midwife visit at home towards the end of the pregnancy for safeguarding etc but not the first visit! I'm sure it will be fine
Caseloading midwives will come to you pre-natally too and build a relationship with you.
I was caseloaded with both pregnancies and actually had the same midwife despite a 5 year gap!
And don't worry about the state of the house, it's not what they are there for.
Good luck with all the DIY, I guess it is a good motivation to get it all done before baby arrives! We've been dragging our heels with the kitchen since we moved in (5 years ago!!) and thought we had better get on with it now or we'll never do it!!
All my visits were at home, I think I had about 6 after baby came.. plus health visitor. She just comes and sits in the lounge, asks questions and has a cuddle with little one! It was much easier as it's a pain going out in the first few months when you are in your nest.
I had this twenty years ago and found it really inappropriate. The midwife didn't seem to understand she was in my home.
Arrived and made comments about what a big house as we only had one child.
Made comments about how tidy the house was and me not working (she and her husband had a one bed flat, a baby and both had to work)
When told I might not b/f due to having a breadt abscess last time said she'd tick the b/f box as i'd change my mind when i read about it being best
Asked three times why it was so quiet when I had a two year old; was told three times he was at the park and when he came in (with the au-pair) rolled her eyes.
Having gone through my history asked if the baby had the same father as DS in a very sorry, sneery way.
I don't remember the dv question.
I am afraid I requested to change teams.
I found it extremely invasive.
One of my neighbours who had bought the toddler a cherry wood sleigh bed was told by the baby's hv not to think her dc were better than anyone else's just because they had everything.
I think some of these people just like to be officious wherever they are but what it does to support meaningful professional relationships I don't know.
Both mine were home visits a couple of days afterwards and were fine. Mess wasn't an issue - and I like the idea that they're checking that it's a safe environment for the baby after some of the news stories you hear about.
But on a different note, I can't tell the timing but am guessing the plan to have it all done in good time for the birth? If one of you is head down in a renovation project it'll be much, much harder on the one left holding the baby and if it was me would be insisting on getting the major stuff is out the way before 36 weeks latest and that the rest can wait for 3-6 months. Hope it all goes well!
I think it sounds deeply intrusive and inappropriate for a visit to be arranged in your home without your prior agreement. It is a professional relationship, not a friendly one. We are constantly hearing how "busy" and "stretched" midwives are, and just this week how their training is so inadequate that they can't even read a foetal heart monitor strip by the time they graduate, yet somehow they have time to waste time travelling from home to home, and are presumably trained on how to make some sort of assessment of the home environment.
If I were you, even without the kitchen, I'd ask for it to be rescheduled at a clinic/office/hospital location.
They honesty won't care about any DIY! They understand people do renovations etc id only just moved house when my baby was born and on their visits post natally there was boxes everywhere, carpets cut up and was just generally a state! They had no issue and didn't even ask to see my room where baby slept (which was clean and tidy )! The first appointment is the booking appointment so usually longer than normal so maybe it's so they don't take up clinic rooms for too long
I moved house a couple of weeks before I gave birth. We've had Midwifes (after) and health visitors (before & after) visit at least 6 times now. Every time they've come I've apologised and said we've just moved house, sorry everything is a mess and in boxes etc and they haven't been bothered at all. (I was really worried about it before they came but none of them have been bothered.)
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