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A thread of support for those who are pregnant and having wobbles/feeling nervous

(14 Posts)
allthecheese Sat 27-May-17 21:47:43

Hi,

Not sure if there will be anyone else who is feeling this, but I wanted to start a thread for people like me who are happy to be pregnant, but may occasionally (or more often) panic about any aspect of becoming a parent.

For example, tonight I have gone to a friend's to watch a film. During the film my mind has spiralled from being a little bit sad about my life changing and this being more difficult to do with a baby, to 'oh my goodness how am I going to do this? How am I going to cope?'.

Support for any variation of this is welcome. I guess right now I'm asking for help from others who may know what I mean, but also know I will be fine.

Sparklyuggs Sat 27-May-17 22:25:34

I get scared too, I worry that I won't cope or that I won't be a good Mum. I think it's normal (at least I hope it is!) To feel nervous. Is it your first?

allthecheese Sat 27-May-17 22:37:31

Same. Yes, my first. You?

I worry about everything. Having a disabled child, giving birth, whether I will be able to exercise again, whether my career will progress after this, whether we'll have enough money, whether I'll be able to survive with no sleep, whether life will be fun still.

Dede124 Sat 27-May-17 22:49:20

I'm worried about everything my thoughts run away. I'm quite anxious about the whole thing although I'm happy at the same time about becoming a mum there's so much to think about and I think everyday am I really ready for this!

Scaredycat2016 Sat 27-May-17 23:37:24

I really do hope it's normal! I do this a lot, ranging from minor anxieties to full on panic. How far along are you guys? X

khaleesitakesthethrone Sun 28-May-17 05:23:44

I feel this way as well. It can be overwhelming to think about! I try to take each day as it comes but there is so many unknowns for the future, it's a lot to take in.
I'm 33 weeks now and very happy to be at this point, but I'm so scared too! Thanks for starting this thread, I think it's quite normal to have these feelings in pregnancy but isn't often talked about x

Sparklyuggs Sun 28-May-17 06:56:32

I'm 31 weeks and it's my first. I feel silly for worrying sometimes as this baby was planned and wanted, but I think worrying is a sign that I'll be ok because I care enough to worry.

I've had depression and anxiety in the past and one of the techniques which helped me was to write down my fears and I had to evaluate how likely they were, and see if I had a solution. So say with excerise cheese I have a similar fear, so I've researched local mum and baby fitness stuff and explained to my DH that it's really important for me to rejoin Weight Watchers after the baby is here and for him to support me with it. I feel like I have a bit more of an action plan if that makes sense?

The main thing I'm scared about is that we moved here about a month before I got pregnant and we have no local friends and family, they're all a flight away, so once DH goes back to work I'm on my own!

khaleesitakesthethrone Sun 28-May-17 11:04:57

@Sparklyuggs I'm in a similar position to you sparkly. I have no local family or friends so going it alone once dp is back at work. Where about's are you?
I've been going to yoga throughout pregnancy and signed up for nct classes. I'm feeling a lot better about things from doing that, though no nothing can replace true family and friends!

Ohhshiney Sun 28-May-17 11:36:19

I'm shitting myself, I'm 33 weeks tomorrow and expecting twins. I'm so scared about coping after the birth and have already had my nan express her worries that I won't cope if I don't accept help from family (don't speak to my mother). The stupid thing is I've worked in a nursery for 7 1/2 years only gave up at Xmas and have looked after my godson since he was a week or two old so I know what I'm doing but I'm so scared

Neverknowing Sun 28-May-17 12:05:01

Op I was exactly like this! I thought I wouldn't be able to do a thing ever but it's not like that at all.
The first couple of months (up to about three months) are hard for most people and after that it's like life is normal again. I do movie nights with my friends (DD is seven months) and she either sits up with us or is in bed. It's exactly the same we all just have one moe friend. My partner and I went out for drinks last night and yeah I only had one because I was looking after DD but we had such a nice time sitting in a pub garden and DD was asleep in her pram. My life is honestly so much easier than I thought it would be, yes it's hard but you still get to do things !!
Our DD was particularly easy so always fell asleep in her pram and we could still go to dinner etc from birth but even my friend who has a baby who cries often could go out as often as she pleases from about three months. It's easier and harder than people say !! Good luck flowers

Foggymist Sun 28-May-17 12:19:46

I'm very worried and anxious, I'm 15 weeks with dc2, had pre eclampsia and emcs and horrible days after birth with dc1. There's basically a 50/50 chance I'll get it again, terrified of getting it earlier and having a premature baby, dreading all appointments (and I have more of them because of history). I thought I was anxious last time but I nearly lol at myself and my stupid minor worries, this time it's terrifying sad

allthecheese Sun 28-May-17 16:02:40

Sparklyuggs thank you. I am also a very anxious person, and your message helped.

Ohhshiney with your experience with young children you'll be amazing. I'm doing this with no family help as well, so feeling your panic with that one. I'm guessing everyone is all, 'twins, so exciting, how wonderful!', and you're thinking 'eek, two babies!!'??

And @Neverknowing thank god you just wrote that. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

mrsbumblebees Sun 28-May-17 16:44:07

Another very nervous and anxious first pregnancy here, at the moment my anxiety is all focused on doing something 'wrong' during the pregnancy which will harm the baby, I feel oddly calm about once the baby arrives!! However people seem keen to keep pointing out how hard it will be once the baby is here - why do people feel the need to do this?! I'm not an idiot and I know it will be tiring and hard work but it's almost like they enjoy trying to scare you!! I'm trying not to let the self doubt creep in, this baby couldn't be more wanted or loved and all we can do is our best I suppose. Your post is very reassuring Neverknowing, thank you for sharing your experience smile

I too live quite far from my family and in recent years a lots of friends have moved away from the area so I am nervous about feeling lonely and isolated. I've signed up to NCT and might sign up for pregnancy yoga too to try and meet people, although it feels quite daunting at the moment.

Ohhshiney Sun 28-May-17 21:10:30

All the cheese- the thing is when people notice and say ohhh pregnant I say yep twins too and their faces drop and they go ohh good luck or something similar which makes me go hmm yes I'm aware it's going to be hard work thanks. I seem to get totally different responses than someone with a singleton does! That's the thing as well I have so much experience yet still shutting my self and hubby goes "that'll be alright" but I can't help but worry and panic it won't be.
I know we both will probably be fine after a month or two and got into the swing of things but it's bloody scary!

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