I'm not coping

[JonSnowsWhore]

I going to sound like a complete drama queen. I've got 1.5 weeks til I'm induced at 38 weeks due to OC so I know I'm so close to it all being over.
But i just can't stop sitting here sobbing & feeling like I'm not coping. I am SO tired from the minute I wake up til the minute I go to bed, no matter how many times I fall asleep during the day. Even the easiest thing in the world like doing the school run fills me with dread.
I've got so much to do indoors before the baby comes & just zero energy to get up & do it. I've got to go to hospital tomorrow & twice next week to be monitored & get blood tests so have to find childcare for the youngest. I'm on tablets & vitamin k for the OC, antibiotics for water infection, tablets for my existing neurology condition, heartburn tablets and have co-codamol for spd but I'm trying not to take them & just deal with the pain so they don't make me even more tired.
& now I've constantly got those awful sulphur burps that you get when you've got food poisoning, but not allowed to take pepto bismol which is the only thing that settles it don't know if it's to do with the OC or what.
Messaged a couple of friends when I was in hospital finding out about the OC & said I was waiting to find out the induction date but since then no one Has messaged me to find out how it went or anything so don't want to start bothering them again!

Argh sorry for the rant I just really feel like I'm not coping & need some kind of cleaning/organising fairy to come & sort my flat out because I sure as hell cant get my head around doing it all!

[jinglebellmel]

That sounds tough, and really shit that your friends didn't respond to your message. I think you need to just concentrate on getting through the next 1.5 weeks and make that your aim rather than things around the house. Do you have any family (or more sympathetic friends) who could help? Could your partner take a couple of days off and do school run and wait on you? Could you afford to get a cleaner in for a deep clean? Sounds like you need some support to take some of the strain. Not long to go now, but do let people know you're struggling, I'm sure there is someone in your life who'd want to know so they could help you out.

[JonSnowsWhore]

Thanks for replying

My mums on holiday this week, poor moo didn't expect to have to worry about me this week while she was away (only found out about the OC on Monday)

Partner has been great I'm not taking any of that away from him, he's done all the regular tidying so we haven't been living in squalor lol but you know when you just know the place needs more doing to it, & the baby stuff needs sorting out. Unfortunately he can't take any time off work though if he's about to take paternity leave when the baby comes!
My cousin has gone on maternity leave, I was hoping she'd come round here a couple of days this week, (just to keep me company, not expecting her to clean!) as she lives quite far away but her son still goes to school near me, but apparently she still has a social life so has been busy lol.

I'd love to have a cleaner for a few hours though but actually think I'd be embarrassed at the deep clean that needs doing 🙈 do they tend to judge things like that lol

[jinglebellmel]

Poor you, I'm at the nesting stage too and feeling the need to clean and paint everything, so I get how frustrating it must feel to not be up to any of that. I doubt a cleaner would judge, I'm sure they see a lot worse (especially deep cleans and end of tenancies etc!) if you can afford to have someone over it might help you feel a bit more 'ready' and able to relax. I'd just disappear off out for coffee while they were there and remember you'll probably never see them again if they do judge anyway!

If not then I think you need to try and lower your standards and concentrate on resting so you have some energy for when the baby arrives.

[JonSnowsWhore]

Before I get anyone in for a deep clean I'll have to tackle the washing & clutter to get that out the way bleurgh.
I'm such a loser I've impressed myself tonight because I've folded some washing & put a new load on, that shows how lazy I've actually been if that's an achievement!

Just asked cousin to come to hospital with me tomorrow & she's busy bloody hate sitting there on my own

[JonSnowsWhore]

Now I've gone & been a complete arsehole to my partner for no reason tonight, the one person I do actually have that seems to care right now. What is wrong with me

[jinglebellmel]

Ah bless you, it's normal to take it out on the one person you're closest too. Just apologise, he'll understand and I wouldn't worry about doing those bits, give a company a call and explain the situation, they'll give you a quote to do as much or as little as you want them to.

Get yourself some nice treats and chill out with a film with your partner this evening, you need to take it easy on yourself, and you never know the oxytocin might get things going naturally for you!

[JonSnowsWhore]

No time now, hospital want me in this Monday to be induced as my bile & alt levels in my blood are rising 🙈 I've had a bit of a panic even more so but at least feeling like this will all be over & I can start to feel human again (providing I'm not kept in hospital too long!)

I'll suddenly wake up tomorrow evening the night before I've got to go in hospital & have this burst of energy & be scrubbing the floors you watch!!

[jinglebellmel]

GoooiL
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Good luck for tomorrow!

[jinglebellmel]

Sorry toddler helping there!

[JonSnowsWhore]

Thank you! Feeling better today, maybe I'm running on adrenaline or something! But we managed to get the place sorted & my nan came round & whipped the older 2 into shape to get them to do their bedroom

Now just one more night of heartburn & spd to get through 🙈