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Scared of trying again

(3 Posts)
Bug2012 Tue 16-May-17 20:07:32


I have a 5 year old daughter and DH and I decided late last year to try for another baby. I got pregnant very quickly but suffered two missed miscarriages, one in December and another one in April, both were picked up at the 12 week scan which showed our babies died at approx. 10 weeks. We resigned ourselves to the fact that we wouldn't try again and felt lucky to have the amazing little girl we have however today DH asked me if we could try again. I'm so conflicted tbh, I think i'd just got my head around just having the one and had started thinking about my career plans etc...I also don't think that we could go through the trauma of another miscarriage but I cant bear to think of DD being an only child. I don't think time is on my side either as I'm 38 next month. Another thing that worries me a little is a potential 6 year age gap between children
Anyone have experience of this?

Thank you :-)

jinglebellmel Wed 17-May-17 09:15:16

Hi bug, I had 2 miscarriages and am currently 34 weeks. It was very difficult to try again but we knew we definitely wanted a siblings for my I son, stopping wasn't I really a consideration for us. If you've just got yourself back on track though I can understand why you aren't keen to risk going home through it all again.

I don't think anyone can really give you an answer here. You could ask your GP if they'd be willingness to run the first stage of blood tests which check for common causes of miscarriages- mine did after 2 miscarriages and we found a possible cause which was easily I treatable. Nothing wrong with an only child if that's what you decide though x

StrawbRhi Wed 17-May-17 16:50:23

Hi Bug, I had 4 miscarriages in an 18 month period all before 7 weeks. We had sort of decided enough was enough when I found out I was pregnant again in September of last year. I was terrified. I took aspirin on the advice (but not recommendation) of the epu and now I'm currently 37 weeks and getting ready for a c-section at 39 weeks. I also have a DD who will be almost exactly 6.5 when her sister arrives. I worry about the age gap but so far she's been excited and helpful and looks to be a great help once little one is here. Thank God she hasn't asked how the seed gets inside Mummy's tummy yet though, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for that!!

Only you can decide if you want to try again. It's gruelling going through a miscarriage let alone multiple and for me I was concerned about the physical toll on my body. The emotional side of things was hard too, I think I panicked every other day until 18 weeks! I still knicker check now blush Although, it did help to tell myself that I have a healthy daughter already, and there's no reason my body can't carry a child to term. 2 losses one after the other is devestating, but doesn't mean it will happen again. But no-one will judge you for waiting a few more months to decide! You've been though a lot this year already.

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