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Feeling irrationally jealous/upset I can't feel baby yet

(27 Posts)
minniemummy0 Sun 14-May-17 10:32:24


I'm 18 weeks, a friends husband has just said that he's felt the baby move. They're at the same stage as me, but I haven't even felt baby move never mind my fiancé feeling him/her! I know it's stupid but I feel so down and it's making my mind go to horrible places (what if I can't feel baby because there is something wrong?). I expected others to be able to feel their baby move before me but never expected some people to be able to feel from the outside already! Just feel so down about it sad

TheLionQueen1 Sun 14-May-17 10:36:00

Hey, I'm 19 weeks and I only felt baby properly yesterday and my DH certainly can't feel him! My MW said it can take up to 22 weeks for movements to be felt so I really wouldn't worry, by which point you would have had 20 week scan. Everybody is different!

arbrighton Sun 14-May-17 10:36:55

It might be that your placenta is anterior so that you feel less.

18 weeks is not particularly late for a first baby. Don't wish the time away- soon enough they'll be leaping on your bladder, doing impressions of the Alien films and keeping you awake.....

loveulotslikejellytots Sun 14-May-17 10:38:56

I was 22/23 weeks before I felt dd. Nearly 26 before DH did, due to placenta being at the front and being a bit chubby to start with!

Thewinedidit Sun 14-May-17 10:40:36

I was around 23 weeks before I felt any movements. I had an anterior placenta. I don't know if DH ever felt movements. Baby was very good at knowing daddy was near and going very still. He's still as cheeky at 3.

arbrighton Sun 14-May-17 10:41:38

Oh yes, even now at 33 weeks, bean knows when daddy is there and stops!

mintich Sun 14-May-17 10:45:45

I was 23 weeks before I felt any movements so don't panic!

user1483387154 Sun 14-May-17 10:47:05

21 weeks here before I felt definite movement. My poor husband rarely feels any movement as I have an anterior placenta and baby just doesnt seem to want to kick around when he has his hand on my belly.

Gooseygoosey12345 Sun 14-May-17 11:39:00

I felt my baby move fairly early but this is my second. My SILs baby was laying round her back so she didn't feel movements for quite a lot longer. I don't think it's abnormal, especially if it's your first. You can always speak to your midwife if you have any concerns

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sun 14-May-17 11:41:35

You have 22 weeks left!! You need to start kerbing those hormones op!!

willothewisp17 Sun 14-May-17 11:44:30

don't worry too much about it, I'm almost 29 weeks and this is where the kicks have started to get really strong and noticeable! don't think I really felt anything till after 20 weeks smile xx

Lemondrop09 Sun 14-May-17 14:06:25

I'm 20 weeks and haven't felt mine yet. I've felt a few twinges which I had thought might be movement, but on reflection I think not and I was just hoping it was movement! I'm dying to feel my baby move

ellesbellesxxx Sun 14-May-17 14:08:44

I didn't feel our twins move until 23 weeks! I have actually had to stop responding to one friend who seemed to be competing with movements/how we were both feeling etc... she felt great, felt movements early.. I didn't, all perfectly normal, but it would panic me when I got a text saying her baby had been kicking all day at 18 weeks whereas I felt nothing! I just don't engage smile

fruityb Sun 14-May-17 14:11:09

I had anterior placenta and didn't feel Ds kick till around 23 weeks. I thought I might have but it took till then to definitely know. OH didn't feel it for a while later but by 30 weeks and onwards he beat the living crap out of me lol.

Still a wriggle bum now.

MollyHuaCha Sun 14-May-17 14:24:28

Aww... I remember being at your stage... <getting wistful>. For me, the first movements came at around 19 weeks, just tiny flutters and if I'd have blinked I would have missed them. They got stronger as the weeks went by.

I would recommend having a cold drink of orange juice to wake baby up, then lying in a quiet room (so you can concentrate). See if you can feel any tiny fluttering movements. If not, then maybe your baby is not ready yet and you can try in a week. Look after yourself and enjoy this lovely time. bear

Shopkinsdoll Sun 14-May-17 14:37:29

I was about 22 weeks with first. With my daughter for some reason I felt her a lot earlier. Mind you she moved and kicked day and night all through the pregnancy. I miss that feeling.

Shopkinsdoll Sun 14-May-17 14:38:48

I remember going to the cinema at 22 weeks and he kicked all through it.

mummabubs Sun 14-May-17 19:16:20

I'm 19 weeks and whilst I've had the odd sensation that I'm not even sure is a flutter I've definitely not had any kicks yet! We'll get there, I'm trying to practice patience. (Trying being the word!)

Frillyhorseyknickers Mon 15-May-17 08:34:35

Im21 weeks and have an anterior placenta. I'm really upset that I can't feel too much at the moment other than very low thuds, but baby is healthy and ultimately that's all I'm bothered about. Fingers crossed you feel more in the coming weeks.

KnockedOutByMyNungaNungas Mon 15-May-17 08:38:08

It took me til 20 weeks! But ever since she hasn't stopped, constantly kicking and wriggling... part of me misses the peace! Don't worry, it'll happen soon x

Wait4nothing Mon 15-May-17 08:39:23

I didn't feel until 24 weeks and dh until third trimester. Plenty of time for that yet (my dd repeatedly kicked me in the ribs and I was in agony at the end)

katiegg Mon 15-May-17 08:39:34

i didn't feel either of mine move until after 22 weeks... but i understand what you mean about your mind going to dark places, mine did too, especially when people told me they felt baby #2 move as early as 14 weeks.

it will be wonderful when you do feel movement, and you'll probably feel it in the next few weeks. and then before you know it, you'll be 39 weeks and begging baby to lie still so you can get some sleep or begging them to refrain from head-butting you in the cervix during an important work presentation!

huge congrats on your pregnancy flowers

libm127 Mon 15-May-17 14:05:03

I felt exactly the same. I think the 12 to 20-ish weeks phase is really hard, actually, because you get no feedback at all about how your baby is doing (other than a growing bump).

It's so, so common to not feel anything yet.

Also, your DH may never feel the baby! As soon as mine puts his hands on my tummy, the baby stops moving (and I'm 36+3, so he REALLY moves now!). I've chosen to see it as evidence that DH's touch is really calming for me and baby and that makes DH feel better about it smile

BentleyBelly Mon 15-May-17 18:53:44

I think they may be telling porkies! I felt movement with my first around 20 weeks and my second 15 weeks. My husband felt movement on the outside about a month after I did. All the early days movement was low down and the thought of DH sitting there with his hand down my trousers all evening hoping to feel something makes me feel a bit blergh. I have a competitive friend who I now avoid as I was so sick of constantly hearing how bigger, better, quicker etc all baby related stuff was, especially after the birth.

Gothbaby Mon 15-May-17 19:38:07

I had this too, i didnt feel baby really until 23rdishhhh week and some girl on my FB was going on about feeling since week 17. But i loved it so much when i finally did! Plus Only just found out the placenta is at the front which commonly means it takes longer for me to feel the baby! xxx

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