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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

6 months pregnant and my husband has left me

32 replies

blondebabeuk78 · 13/05/2017 00:13

Went to my midwifes appointment this afternoon and when I got back the joint car had gone and my husbands things and even some of the furniture. I've been really ill with this pregnancy and don't work because he didn't want me to and now he has left me. I don't know how I'm going to cope. I can't face eating anything and I can't stay still long enough to relax let alone sleep. We moved to a new area for his job so I have no friends or family near by and I feel so scared and alone.

OP posts:

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Ratatatouille · 13/05/2017 00:18

I'm so sorry OP That is incredibly stressful and an awful situation for you to be in.

Your husband is a coward and a rat. Slipping away without a word and leaving you pregnant and vulnerable in a place you don't know. Has he got form for this kind of behaviour?

Can you call or Skype a family member or friend and make plans for a visit with them this weekend?

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 13/05/2017 00:19

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Perhaps you would be better asking for this to be moved to the Relationships board? There are loads of posters there with great advice.

How far away are your friends and family?

blondebabeuk78 · 13/05/2017 00:26

He used to be very caring but about a year after we got married he became very dismissive and distance...his way or nothing. Family lives about 4 hours drive away and I'm still being sick a lot and find it hard to travel. Thanks Ratatouille, I'll try and Skype my parents tomorrow just hope I can get some sleep tonight as I'm exhausted but can't stop crying and shaking.

OP posts:

Ratatatouille · 13/05/2017 00:38

Deep breaths, try to just focus on simple tasks (making a cup of tea for example). You will be in shock my love. Try not to think about the big picture right now (easier said than done I know) and just focus on getting through the present.

anon1987 · 13/05/2017 00:58

I'm so sorry op! What a bastard!!

CatTheMouse · 13/05/2017 08:13

OP, did you sleep at all?

balence49 · 13/05/2017 08:16

What a pig. Have you any family or friends that you can call? I would be in the car in a shot to come to you if one of my friends was in this situation.

Thingymaboob · 13/05/2017 08:19

Hi OP, I know you're in shock now but I think the best thing you can do is call your friends / family. If this happened to me, they'd be there in a jiffy! Pack some things and go back to an area where your friends / family are so you have a support network. I know it's not ideal but you shouldn't be on your own. What a coward he is!

GlitterRollerSkate · 13/05/2017 08:20

Oh darling ring your parents you need support and looking after. Can they come to you?

NoOneLikesACrispyTowel · 13/05/2017 08:30

Jesus wept that is the lowest of the low.

Whatever you do from this point onwards, do not take him back. What an absolute bell end. Didn't even have enough respect to talk you. Just left his pregnant wife alone, jobless, in a place that she knows no-one whilst ill. That's actually sick.

I'm so sorry OP, I wish I had advice for you.
I'd actually suggest posting on the Chat forum to get a wider view and advice, it's much quieter here on the pregnancy board.

There will be people there who have experienced similar or can advice you on the best steps to take now.

Keep posting, whatever you do.

Hollyhop17 · 13/05/2017 09:00

Oh my god, so sorry this has happened to you. I agree with others, call family or friends, they will come like a shot. If you moved there for him, can you move back to where you were or with fanily? I'd probably want my parents in your situation, is that doable? Hugs.

MissBax · 13/05/2017 09:11

OP, that's awful! Offering a hand hold here. Could you try and get to your family? Or if the sickness is too bad could someone come and stay with you??

Hazandduck · 13/05/2017 09:53

I'm so sorry this has happened OP! My sister's husband left her when she was pregnant for another woman (what a guy) and without her family around her she would have crumbled, I think you definitely need to call your parents, you poor thing I really want to just give you a hug! What an absolute pig. One thing I will say, which you probably won't see now, my sister went on to have the most amazing little girl, and has a happy, stress-free life living with her children while her ex is now miserable. The strength of women thrown in to these situations is astonishing. You will overcome this, you will be happy again, I promise xx

CabbagePatchKid91 · 13/05/2017 10:55

I'm so sorry this has happened OP. I don't have any words of wisdom but will be hoping for the best for you and baby x

blondebabeuk78 · 13/05/2017 12:03

I managed to get some sleep but still can't face eating. I'm worried about calling my parents as they never liked h as he's 12 years older than me, don't think I can face the "you should have listened to us" or "I told you so's" I'm going to see my gp on Monday, but the weekend is stretching out ahead of me like it's going to be weeks till Monday not days if that makes any sense

OP posts:

Thingymaboob · 13/05/2017 12:16

OP the sooner you tell your parents the easier it will be. I don't know them but I think you need to give them some credit as they were clearly right about him. I'm sure they won't say "I told you so" as they'll be devastated for you. There's no point in dragging it out

haveacupoftea · 13/05/2017 12:40

Yes I agree you must tell your parents right away. Deep breath and phone them, it's very important. They'll surprise you with how much they care and the lengths they'll go to for you. I promise you'll feel better once that's done

witchofzog · 13/05/2017 12:44

I am so sorry he has done this to you. Fucking shitty bastard telling you not to work and leaving you in an area where you know no-one.

Has he been in touch at all? If you feel you cant talk to your parents , is there a friend you could talk to instead? I hate to think of you dealing with this alone

Jessiecat27 · 13/05/2017 13:00

I didn't want to read and run. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, just try to relax (easier said than done) try and get some snacks and put some of your favourite happy films on for now. Just drink water if you can't stomach anything. Let your friends or family know, even if it's just a text if you can't face them right now so they're there if you need them, I'm sure they would come straight to you if you needed them!

VimFuego101 · 13/05/2017 13:20

What an arsehole. Is the house owned or rented, do you have any money of your own or access to a joint account?

If you really feel you can't tell your parents in person I would at least send them an email. Maybe if they have some time to think before speaking to you they will realize that saying 'I told you so' isn't helpful.

Mistletoekids · 13/05/2017 13:24

I'm so sorry OP

He sounds like a weasel

You must be terrified ATM but if this is the kind of man he is you are lucky he is out of your life

Call your family and take one step at a time

You can do it!

icy121 · 13/05/2017 13:39

Very sorry this has happened. What an absolute cunt.

I know you're in deep shock, but you're going to have to be strong and get proactive - the very first thing to do is find a family lawyer you can call on Monday morning. He or she will run through your whole situation with you, and advise you on what to do next to best protect you and your baby.

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blondebabeuk78 · 13/05/2017 15:30

Thank you for all your messages and support it been such a comfort. I called my mum and she's driving over tomorrow to stay with me for a while. She's going to help me see if I can claim any benefits and find a family solicitor. I feel so lost but at least my mum will be here tomorrow.

OP posts:

Mombie2016 · 13/05/2017 15:34

Quick response as have 15MO who is teething and very unhappy at the minute.

OP. My "D"H fucked off when I was pregnant too. I believe the term is Ghosted. Completely fell off the face of the Earth. That was 2 years ago. I've been where you are. I know how you feel. Please believe me when I tell you that you will get through this and that you and baby are far better off without him.

I also felt incredibly ashamed and stupid. Please try not to. None of this is on you. None of it.

Hollyhop17 · 13/05/2017 15:37

So pleased you rang your mum and she's coming over. Hard as I'm sure it will be, concentrate on your baby and good luck for the rest of the pregnnacy. Think of all the things you dont have to compromise on anymore, name, parenting style, etc to try and cheer yourself up!

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