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AIBU to ask to be signed off?

(19 Posts)
User21016784 Sun 07-May-17 17:54:17

Sorry. It's a bit of a long one.

I'm pregnant, 11 weeks, suffering with really bad morning sickness but dragging myself into work. I feel awful. DH has suddenly got loads of psychological issues that have come up to do with being a parent due to his own crap upbringing, my job is horrendous, my home is falling to bits, I'm behind with coursework, and I'm really far away from friends and family. We moved here a short while ago, but I haven't really made friends here yet. I don't have a support system.

Honestly I'm depressed to fuck. I'm not coping, and I'm useless at work when I'm there. I either have my head in the loo, or I'm shaking at my computer screen trying not to be sick or cry from the shit show that is my life. I have near constant headaches, struggle to stop crying, and ... I just don't know what else. I'm so tired I can't concentrate, today I turned the oven on, not even realising. Melted the plastic handle off a saucepan. I forget things. Big things.

I guess what I'm saying is would I be totally unreasonable to ask to be signed off work for a couple of weeks? I'm not coping and feel completely pathetic and overwhelmed. I'm struggling to do such basic things. I just need to find a way to sleep sad every time I lie on my side or move my head, the nausea flares up again and I'm eventually sick.

Name changed. Because I'm embarrassed. This is my only chance to have a baby biologically and I'm just handeling it so badly.

User21016784 Sun 07-May-17 17:55:16

I'm sorry. That's so long.

I doubt I'd even get signed off work. Just have more pills thrown at me.

I'm currently on Stemetil. But it only works for around an hour after I take it then I'm back to square one.

SelfObsessionHoney Sun 07-May-17 17:56:39

You're not handling anything badly.
The whole situation sounds stressful and hard, it sounds shit to be blunt. And that's on top of being in early pregnancy which can be fucking awful.
Get yourself to the GP and get signed off.
There are no points for bravery and you need to be gentle and kind with yourself x

neighbourhoodwitch Sun 07-May-17 17:56:49

Definitely take time off. Poor you; you need it. I'm so sorry it's like this at the moment. Wishing you better. Xxx

Thingymaboob Sun 07-May-17 17:59:57

I think it sounds totally reasonable to be signed off. Sounds like you're having a terrible time. It's really important to look after yourself. My work (public service) do not count pregnancy related illness as contributing toward sickness triggers. Find out your policy.
Maybe take a couple of weeks off and reassess then. A couple of weeks might be just enough for you to sort stuff and as you're at the end of your first trimester, your morning sickness might have eased. Ensure GP puts a pregnancy related illness on the sick note. Good luck xx

User21016784 Sun 07-May-17 18:00:01

Thank you both.

It's honestly ruining it for me. I know it's not DH's fault and he's in need of my support right now, and he's being fab with me. But it's even putting me off telling people like family sad I just can't handle the baggage they'll bring to the table. I'm not in a good enough place to handle it.

I'll call in sick tomorrow and get a GP appointment. I just don't want AD's thrown at me! I feel like while I am quite down, I've got good reason for it.

User21016784 Sun 07-May-17 18:01:08

And I'm civil service as well, so it's not counted towards overall sickness. I don't even know why I'm questioning this.

SelfObsessionHoney Sun 07-May-17 18:04:34

Then don't tell them. Do what you need to do to get through the day.

If the stemetil isn't working tell your GP, there are their drugs to try, getting your nausea under a bit more control will likely have an almighty impact on how you're feeling.

Have you had your booking in appointment with your midwife yet? It's absolutely worth telling them that you're feeling depressed/down/not yourself, midwife will have seen and heard it all before, and if yours is anything like mine will refer you to a mental health midwife who has been an absolute bloody star in helping me get through my pregnancy.

CoxsOrangePippin Sun 07-May-17 18:06:12

You might also ask about other nausea tablets. The right one felt pretty life changing to me.

SelfObsessionHoney Sun 07-May-17 18:08:46

Also here is a link to your rights whilst pregnant regarding sickness

www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnant/sickness-during-pregnancy-and-maternity-leave/

haveacupoftea Sun 07-May-17 19:17:57

Yes of course you should get signed off. Im sure the GP will do it without hesitation. Has DH been to see the GP also for his own mental health?

User21016784 Mon 08-May-17 06:59:27

Can I just say thank you all so much. I really don't feel like I deserve the sympathy at the moment.

I'm just exhausted. Mentally and physically. I'm sitting on the sofa sobbing because I just can't face the thought of getting in the shower and dragging myself into work.

Unfortunately I can't get a booking in appointment until after 12 weeks, so it'll just be whatever doctor is on duty that I speak to. DH has booked some more counselling sessions, starting on Wednesday. I just want to be in a decent state where I am support him. But I don't see how I can do that if I've been awake since before midnight. sad

User21016784 Mon 08-May-17 07:43:55

Well I've been sick three times in an hour. I guess that's the decider really.

Still dreading calling in sick though sad

TestingTestingWonTooFree Mon 08-May-17 08:32:35

You're going to be no use to work going in on this state, but if you stay home and see the gp you might be a lot more use next week/Week after. Work out how you're going to explain it. I'd focus on the vomiting and lack of sleep.

Skisunsnow Mon 08-May-17 08:52:31

That sounds awful. I'm also pregnant 15 weeks now, and felt horrendously nauseous from 5-13 weeks. I dragged myself to work as I didn't want to tell anyone at work, but honestly there's no award for being brave and at the end of the day you have to look after yourself and baby. Get signed off and get yourself sorted.
So have you not had a booking in appointment with a midwife yet? Most areas like to get you in around 8-10 weeks so that you can get bloods/scans arranged. Have you got dating scan booked yet?

Christmasbaby16 Mon 08-May-17 18:00:16

I think given your circumstances you are not being at all unreasonable and the best thing you could do is take some time off and take some time for yourself.
It's a challenging time when you find out your pregnant, especially when it's something you so desperately want.
Best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy flowers

Wombletor Mon 08-May-17 19:15:16

Sorry you are feeling so badflowers See your gp, tell him/her what you've told us and I'm certain you'll be signed off with some new anti-sickness tabs. Get some rest, and things will look less bleak. Take care x

SelfObsessionHoney Mon 08-May-17 19:20:27

How you doing OP?

TheLegendOfBeans Mon 08-May-17 19:23:33

Ye gods, that's a terrible amount of stress.

Go to GP.
Spill the beans
They may suggest you go off sick
Take the sick line for as long as they'll give it
Notify work immediately
Take copy of sick line
Send original in
Stay off sick
Revisit GP in 2/3 weeks

I don't care if I sound Victorian but you are pregnant. You're supposed to be taking it a bit easier xxx

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