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4 months pregnant boyfriend said last night he wishes I was never pregnant. What do I do ?!

(10 Posts)
25heartbroken Thu 27-Apr-17 19:19:13

Bit of a quick rundown
Been with boyfriend 9 months

Got pregnant very quickly but he was over the moon about it and said there is no way he would want me to have an abortion. I got over the shock and here I am 4 months pregnant with a beautiful bump.
Boyfriend has turned very negative recently and is always making himself "busy" even went on what I thought was going to be a "date" but he invited his younger brother along without even asking me... was bit gutted we haven't done anything nice since I've been pregnant.

Last night he screamed at me and said I wish you had never gotten pregnant. I asked him if he would sleep on the sofa as I was feeling very sad and wanted to get a good nights sleep ( he thrashes around a lot in his sleep) and his response was why don't you f*uck off and go sleep on the sofa this is my house if anyone is leaving it's you ......
This is becoming a more regular occurrence and I'm terrified of being a single mum. I know I can do it but I don't have a lot of money or support and if I'm going it alone I'm not sure what I do next or now. Will the temporary accommodation be full of smack heads etc as im pregnant it's all very scary help please

wowbutter Thu 27-Apr-17 19:26:34

Abuse tends to get worse. So, you need to make plans to leave and quickly. You can call woman's aid? They may be able to help.
Do you have relatives or parents or friends you can stay with instead of a hostel?

25heartbroken Thu 27-Apr-17 19:46:01

@wowbutter thank you for replying xx

I don't have any where that's pregnancy proof most of my friends smoke inside and wouldn't give that up etc. I was thinking I could try to get a private landlord but where I live it's hard to get them to accept you if your on benefits. I really don't want to be on benefits either but it's looking more likely that this is going to be my life. I had it out with him just after I posted this thread and he has said he feels very depressed and under pressure as we are both 25 and don't have very well paying jobs and I get that! And up until now he's been amazing and is really loving towards my bump but it has really upset me and wrecked my emotions Him saying he doesn't want the baby..... I just can't tell if it's my hormones or if there is somthing really wrong here. Very confusing xx

GardenGeek Thu 27-Apr-17 19:52:21

Not very knowledgable with housing help but didnt want to read and run.

flowers for you. Sorry you are having to deal with this.

haveacupoftea Thu 27-Apr-17 20:07:07

I think this would be better posted in relationships OP. I think you should get yourself on the housing list ASAP and your boyfriend needs to see his GP if his mental health isn't good. Talk to your midwife for support.

Yellowcups Thu 27-Apr-17 20:12:27

He obviously wants out. Do you have any family for support?

Lunalovepud Thu 27-Apr-17 22:11:43

OP I am so sorry you are going through this when you are pregnant and feeling vulnerable.

There is no excuse for your bf to treat you like this - if his mental health is suffering then he needs to get it sorted out. It sounds like where you are living at the moment isn't a very stable environment for you and as PPs have said, it's probably better for you to get out of there as soon as you can to somewhere where you can be safe and settled.

If you are not sure what to do, think of him speaking to you and behaving towards you the way he does now, but just in front of your child. He may even speak like that TO your child.

Good luck with everything. flowers

Fcukthetww Fri 28-Apr-17 10:06:37

Op better to be a single mother than bring a baby into an atmosphere like you're describing. Cut the cord. You have 5 months now to get your act together and find you and baby somewhere to live. You'll only regret ignoring this type of behaviour- honestly, I wish I'd had someone to tell me what the warning signs are.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 28-Apr-17 10:09:11

There's nothing wrong with you, there's a lot wrong with him. You and your baby deserve better than this, even if that's stability funded by benefits and child support.

UppityHumpty Fri 28-Apr-17 10:14:06

Having a child is a really stresssful time for men too. He shouldn't be shouting at you, but if this started after pregnancy it's possible he's really stressed about being able to support you both but unable to verbalize it.

The two of you should calmly discuss what's going on. Be open and ask him to he open too. If you still get no joy then leave - you could probably get into a shelter.

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