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OH smoking

(17 Posts)
dippypanda Mon 24-Apr-17 21:59:49

Looking for bit of advice but also a rant. I'm 19 weeks pregnant and OH promised to stop smoking (smokes around 10 a day) after I got pregnant, that lasted about 6 weeks then decided to have 1/2 occasionally "as a treat" and of course that went back to about 10 a day again. I've asked him repeatedly to smoke outside and for the most part he does. However occasionally I've noticed he's smoked inside the house and I've told him I'm not happy, have explained the risks etc etc. Tonight I've found a glass in the bedroom which has been used as an ashtray, he was off work today and I've just pulled him up on it. He's looking very sheepish right now. The baby is going to be in our room for at least a year and I'm furious that it doesn't seem to him that serious an issue. Am I being OTT and hormonal or do I have a valid concern?

Sparklyuggs Mon 24-Apr-17 22:05:40

You aren't overreacting, I would be absolutely livid. The dangers of secondhand smoke during pregnancy are proven, and smoking is linked to SIDS.

That said, it's an addiction and very hard to quit. Could you go with him to the GP and ask to be referred to the local stop smoking services? Or self refer to them?

MrsJayy Mon 24-Apr-17 22:07:43

Stopping smoking is hard it really is im 11 weeks in stopping and could still murder somebody for a fag, yanbu to want him to stop he did 6 weeks this might be a blip emotionally ranting wont make him stop he will still smoke but be sneaky about it, suggest a smoking cessation clinic or go to the chemist think you get NCT free for 12 weeks but try and not rant he isn't a kid he knows he shouldn't smoke.

MrsJayy Mon 24-Apr-17 22:09:01

He really should be smoking outside though

dippypanda Mon 24-Apr-17 22:13:39

Thanks, I appreciate others views as I've been a right grump for the past few weeks anyway.
I do understand how hard it can be, I used to smoke 25 a day about 10 years ago before my first dd and have never smoked since, I'm trying not to have a go intentionally but the smoking the bedroom annoyed me especially. We've discussed the help on offer from the go, think I'll have to pick this up again.

dippypanda Mon 24-Apr-17 22:15:20

*in the bedroom

Sorry typos

5OBalesofHay Mon 24-Apr-17 22:20:51

Im an outside smoker. Wouldnt dream of lighting up downstairs never mind the bedroom.

You can't make him stop smoking and he won't if he doesn't want to, but he absolutely shouldn't smoke indoors. Could you or him make a nice outdoor smoking place?

BusterGonad Mon 24-Apr-17 22:32:09

I'm an ex smoker, I loved smoking but obviously it's just no good for me or my family, but I'd never dream of smoking in the house. I think it's a vile thing to do, I tell a lie, I smoked out of a window once and even though my head was sticking out the house stunk! I didn't smoke whilst pregnant or for about 5 years so my son was never at harm. Its very selfish to smoke when you have kids, that's why I gave up again.

MrsJayy Mon 24-Apr-17 23:10:59

Btw i can see how pissed off you are about smoking in the bedroom that is really disrespectful

PhyllisNights Mon 24-Apr-17 23:18:28

There is absolutely no excuse for him to be smoking inside. It is completely selfish.

I made my husband quit smoking before he married me. You need to hold him to a promise that he will quit, somehow. Perhaps speak to his mother, father or siblings about it? Someone else needs to back you up.

haveacupoftea Tue 25-Apr-17 01:13:33

Maybe get him an e cig to help him quit?

VimFuego101 Tue 25-Apr-17 01:46:22

YANBU. Could you talk to your midwife and then bring him to an appt so they can explain the dangers to him?

brownear Tue 25-Apr-17 04:10:49


He is very very selfish. I'd be regretting getting pregnant by him tbh.

confusedat23 Tue 25-Apr-17 06:07:56

OP I would be massively pissed!

I know what its like to give up i did it just before my wedding as it was effecting my health and DH asked me to (as he could see the effect on me) and i did that very day!

He now vapes instead of smokes as i have requested and he has even suggested vaping outside once the baby is here! He does slip every now and again but never in our flat and he always tries to hide it showing how embarassed he is.

I think your DH needs to see a doctor so they can help him and truely explain the risks to your baby if he was to do that again.

Hollyhop17 Tue 25-Apr-17 06:31:37

Smoking the bedroom is completely unforgivable. I'd be seriously thinking about moving out or asking him to go. Perhaps then he might understsand the gravity of what he's done. Good luck.

Spam88 Tue 25-Apr-17 14:31:27

Urgh, smoking in the bedroom is grim.

Can your midwife refer him to a smoking cessation service? If not get him to the GP for a referral. This is your little baby's life, he needs to start taking it seriously.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 27-Apr-17 11:55:50

I think I would kill him. Smoking around you, in the home or around the baby when it's born is completely unacceptable.

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