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Childcare arrangement advice- HELP!!

(9 Posts)
user1480264544 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:23:54

So I work 4 days a week for 4 hours per dayn(7am-11am) now my sister kindly watches my daughter for approx 2 of these hours a day totalling about 8hours per week.. no need to feed my daughter or anything mainly just letting her play with her daughter in the play room .. there both 2 years old. Now I'm currently 6 months pregnant with baby number 2 and all of a sudden my sister is asking me to watch her daughter more and more.. it started off as fridays .. now it's Thursdays for 5 hours and Fridays for 5 hours with the odd 9-6 day thrown in on my days off! Now don't get me wrong I'm happy to help but when will it be acceptable for me to say I can't do it anymore! I'm going out of my mind and I can't look after them I'm exhausted! My neice is not the easiest of children she spends most of her day here crying for mummy or destroying my daughters toys (pregnancy hormones is making this bother me! Lol) or climbing on top of every bit off furniture she can get near! So I literally have to run after her the whole time she is here! Then cook her dinner feed her again.. a huge task as she is possibly the messiest eater I've ever seen! Please don't take this as I'm neice bashing obviously I love her to pieces and wouldn't change it but I just want to give an insight to the chaos!! So yes opinions on if I'm out of order for feeling like this and when can I say no more!!! I'm loosing the will to live!! Thanks x

Annabelle1993 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:29:58

It sounds like your sister might be taking advantage of your kindness! Yes, she does the favour too but for nowhere near aslong.. Plus she's not having to cook dinner for your little one!
Being 6 months pregnant is tiring in itself and I would really play on that aswel!
Just be honest and tell her it's too tiring with your work and also looking after your own child! And say you don't mind helping for a couple of hours.. If you feel like she will take that in the wrong way then just say your really poorly with this pregnancy and can't do it! She can't say much about that! X

AndNowItIsSeven Fri 21-Apr-17 16:32:23

It's up to you, but you then can't expect her to mind your dd.

esiotrot2015 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:35:04

Just tell her when you finish work that she'll need to make her own arrangements childcare wise as she presumably won't have your child when you go back to work ?

esiotrot2015 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:36:00

In other words stop all childcare arrangements with her & sort out your own at the same time

Are you having a year off? You don't want to end up with three kids to look after

NennyNooNoo Fri 21-Apr-17 16:47:15

How long has she been minding your DD for 8 hours a week? If it's been a while, then maybe she feels you owe her some childcare which until now she hasn't been claiming by the sound of it. Are the Thursdays and Fridays that you babysit one-offs or regular childcare?

user1480264544 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:50:40

This is what I'm worried about I'm going to be leaving work at the beginning of June so I know I'll have to say then I can't do it.. again if the odd day comes up when she's stuck of course I would help! She knows I've had a rough time with this pregnancy but I'm getting the impression she doesn't care anymore .. I've suffered with hg.. insomnia etc and today I had a call from my gp to go in and discuss my urine sample results after morning surgery.. that being 1pm but she drops her daughter off before then so I had to cancel as her reply to that was "I don't know what to suggest really what do you want me to do" I am so greatful for her help but I feel like there's appreciation for how hard looking after 2 toddlers whilst pregnant.. especially being one isn't mine !! Hats off to those who have 3 close in age!! I know she will take it the wrong way she always does x

user1480264544 Fri 21-Apr-17 16:52:46

And it's been since September she's been having mine and I've had hers most Fridays since .. but only until last month the extra days have been piling in.. it is because her usual minder (her MIL) is extremely unreliable so she gives me like 1 day notice and expects me to do it and as I've used her for so long I feel I can't say no no matter how exhausted I am sadx

confuugled1 Fri 21-Apr-17 21:18:46

Hmm. I think you should tell your dsis that you have some extra midwife/hospital etc appointments coming up on your day off which means that you won't be able to have her dd as it's bad enough having one toddler in the appointment with you when you're trying to concentrate on what the mw/dr is saying. Tell her in advance so she can't lay the guilt on you - and have your phone turned off so she can't ring at the last minute. And then make sure that the midwife tells you you need to rest with your feet up and not chasing around after two demanding toddlers... 'The mw said I can't/ must do [whatever you want to make you better]' can be very useful when used judiciously- it's very rare for people to challenge it and if they do, you have the comeback of 'so you think I should put my health and my baby's health at risk just so that you can do xyz, sorry, but that's not something I'm prepared to do'.

I wasn't sure from your post if you had turned your sister down or didn't go to your appointment but you need to put your health first.

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