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How to get over child's father while pregnant

(6 Posts)
Sophiemck95 Thu 13-Apr-17 22:35:28

I'm having my first baby with my then boyfriend, who I've been with for just under a year, I suffered a miscarriage back in August with him and found out I was pregnant again at the start of November and due I'm now due July. boyfriend didn't want the baby and told me to get rid of him but I said no as I couldn't put myself through another loss, he stayed with me and broke up with me just over a week ago at 6 months pregnant, as he doesn't want to be with me anymore because we didn't have much of a relationship through his lack of effort.

I'm finding it really tough as he was my first boyfriend resulting in my being my first love.

There's absolutely no chance of us getting back together but I'm finding it extremely difficult to keep cool, and get over him. I'm hurt in so many different ways, and as of right now it feels like I will never get over it. How do I deal with this being six months pregnant? I don't want baby to feel sad because I'm feeling sad, I'm trying to keep strong for him but it's really difficult. My emotions are already all over the place as it is, but I can't help but cry.

How do I deal with this?

Imjustsaying Thu 13-Apr-17 23:02:09

Hi Sophie, very similar but also very differnt situation to you. I am 36 weeks pregnant with my first child. Me and my then partner were living together when i conceived and altho a suprise we were both over the moon with the news. Unfortunately our relationship really suffered through pregnancy what with hormones, me stopping smoking and coming off antidepressants which made me moody alot. I decided to move back home with mum and give it ago that way (im 21) but our relationship never really recovered and we were constantly on a rollercoster of emotions, constant break ups and get bac together. Anywho about 6 weeks ago i decided i couldnt put myself through the stress anymore as he didnt seem to make much effort either and was often letting me down so i called it quits with the intention of us both being in babys life civilly. We started meeting up to discuss plans to do with the baby about 3 weeks ago but at same time we would also have a catch up and be friendly, we are still spending the odd unnessisary day a week getting something to eat and having a laugh. I think this has made the situation alot harder in some ways as it makes me realise how much i miss him but i have to realise it is only the good times. It can be bloody dang awful hun but youll get through it and youll have the most precious gift from. You dont want someone who doesnt want their own flesh and blood. Youd constantly be figting a loosing battle. Maybe try writing down all the bad things about him/your relationship and if your having a particularly sad day then look at those reasons and remind yourself what its all for. Youll do a fab job x

Imjustsaying Thu 13-Apr-17 23:03:08

P.s ive had alot of stress and my little lady is measuring perfect with no apparent issues, she doesnt seem to have been affected x

Sophiemck95 Thu 13-Apr-17 23:09:01

I'm 21 too, it's really difficult for me right now.

Imjustsaying Thu 13-Apr-17 23:13:14

Has he shown mich interest in the pregnancy during scans etc? Is there any possibility he will change his mind when baby arrives? For alot of men seeing is believing

alloveragainchoo Thu 13-Apr-17 23:29:56

I really feel for you, I'm pregnant ATM and with all you have going on with your hormones on top it must be so hard flowers
My advice would be to keep yourself busy, write lists for what you need for baby, see your friends, just do whatever you can to get out and get your mind of things.
Once your baby is here you will fall head over heels in love and you will feel stronger than you do now x

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