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Why won't the midwives LISTEN to me??

(31 Posts)
furtheronthantheythink Thu 13-Apr-17 19:30:26

The midwife keeps referring to me as 36 weeks but I KNOW that I'm further on than that. I know when my last period was, when I got pregnant and when I took the Clearblue test it said 3+; my point is, I know when I got pregnant, not the midwife. I've said that I think I'm further on than she says, and have explained why, but she's adamant that I'm only 36 weeks. Any advice as to why she thinks that or how I can get her to listen to me?sad

BitchPeas Thu 13-Apr-17 19:32:39

Have you had a dating scan? They will go by that no matter what they say in experience. Are you asking for a sweep/induction?

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:34:12

Why do they think you are 36 weeks? I wouldn't rely on a clear blue test tbh.

mineofuselessinformation Thu 13-Apr-17 19:34:21

How much difference is there in the dates?
If more than two, it may be a concern, less than that, not really a problem surely?

Jooni Thu 13-Apr-17 19:35:17

It doesn't matter when you actually technically conceived, the due date is calculated based on foetal measurements at your scans. If at the 12 week scan your baby had been measuring larger than expected for dates (as all foetuses measure roughly the same at this gestation), your due date would have been moved forward. That's just how they do it.

JustMumNowNotMe Thu 13-Apr-17 19:36:25

Dating scans done on time are pretty accurate OP. Did you have yours in before 13 weeks? Babies grow pretty uniformly up to this point but can vary after so if you're was late it might have been out.

Sidge Thu 13-Apr-17 19:36:38

I'd be more inclined to believe your due date based on your dating scan than a Clearblue test to be honest...

What's the difference between your scan-based EDD and your estimation?

WellErrr Thu 13-Apr-17 19:38:16

They do it based on the dating scan. There has to be a uniform system or you'd get people lying for an earlier/more convenient due date.

furtheronthantheythink Thu 13-Apr-17 19:38:22

The thing is, I am 100% as to when it happened, as it was the only time I had sex in that month, so it's the only possible time I could have conceived. I'm 38+ 2 today based on that, although mw thinks I'm only 36+1...

Levatrice Thu 13-Apr-17 19:38:30

A dating scan is really accurate and all pregnancies will be dated from that. A lot of women report discrepancies between menstrual and scan dates including IVF pregnancies where conception date is known as such, but EDD as measured from dating scan is a few days/ a week out. Are your dates massively different as in 2.5 weeks or more? Are your measuring 36 weeks?

Levatrice Thu 13-Apr-17 19:40:02

Cross post, are you currently classed as high risk pregnancy for anything else?

OlennasWimple Thu 13-Apr-17 19:41:33

I had this but only with five days difference - I knew exactly when I conceived, but they go on their own methods. It's very frustrating, isn't it.

UnicornButtplug Thu 13-Apr-17 19:42:17

I think sperm can live inside you for upto a week so it's possible you ovulated later than you think. That wouldn't explain two weeks though.

AnneWithAnEShirley Thu 13-Apr-17 19:46:38

At the moment this isn't an issue, but if you get to 41 weeks by your own dates I would call them and explain you are concerned you are going overdue and why.

You can ask for a consultant appointment to explain your concerns about not being offered induction of labour at 40+10 as I believe is often the policy.

Hopefully you will have gone into labour by then.

I had the opposite problem - I have very very long cycles and knew when I conceived to the day. I had to see a consultant to explain why I wasn't actually 42 weeks pg and he listened where mw hasn't and I went into labour naturally that same day.

AnneWithAnEShirley Thu 13-Apr-17 19:48:15

You could at 41 weeks ask to be offered scan looking at the health of the cord, placenta and amniotic fluid volume plus check of foetal hb at the appropriate time by your dates.

CharleyDavidson Thu 13-Apr-17 19:51:00

I tested for ov and knew that I'd caught later than my official missed period date would have me. Not that far off though.

What I objected to was when I was given a late scan (due to lack of am fluid) and the scan dept told me to tell my consultant I was further along than my original date suggested. The consultant said "They say that all the time and we stick to our original dates".

Makes no odds though: the baby will come when it's ready!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 14-Apr-17 10:57:08

We know when we had sex but it's more difficult to be certain about when you've ovulated. The hospital dates don't quite line up with what we think, but it doesn't really matter.

Barefootcontessa84 Fri 14-Apr-17 12:10:11

The length of time before implantation can also vary, again putting your dates off by days. So if you ovulated later than you thought, then took a while for the fertilised egg to implant, it's hard for you to know when you really conceived. I'd go with the dating scan.

Italwaysworksitselfout Fri 14-Apr-17 12:15:12

I was the same and convinced I was a week to two ahead but when I went for my first reassurance scan they couldn't even see a heart beat. I was sure I was 8 weeks. I was brought back 2 weeks later and there it was. My dating scan was also 2 weeks behind what I thought but I've just gone with it.
As long as baby's doing well and everything is healthy I would try and not get so stressed but if you feel you nothing is happening around 40/41 weeks I would air concerns again

Mermaidinthesea123 Fri 14-Apr-17 12:18:28

What I would do is approach your midwife and say you have a genuine concern that you feel is being ignored. Then ask them to explain their side.
I find that is usually the way round a problem like this.

Pimmmms Fri 14-Apr-17 12:18:43

Ugh, the same happened to me. DS1 was officially 10 days late, but according to my dates was 3 weeks late. The poor thing had such horrid, sore skin when he was born as a result. It seems they haven't changed in the last 10 years, shame....

NapQueen Fri 14-Apr-17 12:19:24

You could have ovulated 3 days after sex, implantation is usually a good week or more after that....

plimsolls Fri 14-Apr-17 12:22:06

Yes, do what mermaid says.

As PP said, the day you had sex doesn't actually mean it's the day you got pregnant (if that's what you're implying by saying you know when you had sex) - factors such as ovulation/ implantation etc come into it, which is why they give you a due date based on foetal size at the dating scan.

However, I totally get why you'd be concerned if you've taken all the above into account and still think you're further along than you say.

Alfieisnoisy Fri 14-Apr-17 12:30:04

You know when you had sex but you dare not know when the fertilised ovum implanted in the womb. That could well have been days later and they take this into account during scans. Dates can be plus or minus two weeks depending on various factors which is why you have a dating scan.,,these are not infallible but they are very accurate.

You are likely to be 36-37 weeks pregnant and not 38 weeks however much you want to be.

Your baby can arrive any time between 37-42 weeks.

As a midwife twenty years ago I cared for a woman in labour who had absolutely insisted on delivery as she said the scans were wrong . She was aggressive and totally unreasonable about scans and in the end the consultant agreed to induce labour. Her baby was tiny and covered in vernix....and more importantly struggled to breathe because he was the 36 weeks the scan said he was and not the 40 she insisted. It was two weeks of special care before he was able to leave. I still feel anger about the additional care her poor baby went through all because she insisted she knew best. She didn't.

haveacupoftea Fri 14-Apr-17 23:10:38

Ovulation and pregnancy testing is not an exact science, but dating scans are. Listen to your midwife.

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