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Need advice on getting pregnant!

(16 Posts)
Amynicole93 Wed 12-Apr-17 19:47:58

So basically I'm getting married in august and me and my partner are at the right time to have babies and we are both very broody at the minute.
I got my current job in November but it's very stressful and making me very depressed. I'd love to get a new job but what if i become pregnant?
Also when the babies here how long will it be before i can go back to work?As i can't afford to live off just my partner's wage and i don't think that's fair.

Sorry for so many questions i just really don't know what to do!

Ps,i am on the pill at the moment, was going to come off next month

OohNoDooEy Wed 12-Apr-17 19:53:07

You need be in your job before you get pregnant to get maternity pay, otherwise you get maternity allowance

You can go back to work after a couple of weeks but realistically it takes time to get over pregnancy and labour. Most mums try to breastfeed which can delay it but you can formula feed too to get over that dilemma.

Discuss finances before you ttc. Imo it should all be family money once kids are in the picture so either of you going part time to avoid ft childcare doesn't end up worse off for one person

Amynicole93 Wed 12-Apr-17 19:58:54

So you'd stay in the job i have? It's working in a nursing home which is very heavy and stressful work sad i just don't feel like cares the right thing for me right now and i wouldn't really like to be there while pregnant :/

Ok that's great, what about childcare costs, how much are we talking?

Yes definitely i agree, I'd definitely go back to work but so the pressure wasn't left on my partner

Sidge Wed 12-Apr-17 20:02:29

If you come off the pill next month and don't use other contraception you could potentially be pregnant when you get married. Just bear that in mind. There's a misconception that you need to "get the pill out of your system" but it's a fallacy. The pill is metabolised within 48 hours so doesn't linger in your system, and potentially your fertility will return within a few weeks.

Most women take between 6 and 12 months off after having a baby but legally you only have to take 2 weeks off. Depending on where you work, and what their maternity package is you will be on statutory maternity pay - more here www.gov.uk/maternity-pay-leave/pay

Amynicole93 Wed 12-Apr-17 20:05:56

Well the original plan was to come off on the wedding night so i think we'll stick to that then lol

Thank you for your hep, i just don't know how some people cope lol especially when they don't have jobs!

mainlywingingit Wed 12-Apr-17 20:23:13

You'll be heavily protected by the law in your new job with lifting etc as you will need to ask HR for a full risk assessment when you are pregnant.

You can still work hard but take your foot off the break as you are in a sense 'untouchable' while you are pregnant. You are not treated like you have a disability but you are creating another life and some care will be needed.

Nurseries are also very expensive so consider that and statutory maternity pay for 6 weeks is not very much at all.

Basically put your needs first !

Amynicole93 Wed 12-Apr-17 20:33:34

That's true, I'll keep plodding along and see how i get on. I don't want the stress to get to much it kinda makes me need to leave cause that's the way it's looking 😖

OohNoDooEy Wed 12-Apr-17 21:18:11

Ft childcare varies by area but is roughly the same as renting a 2bed flat or house per month. Childcare vouchers help a lot if your employer offer them

OohNoDooEy Wed 12-Apr-17 21:18:57

I got pregnant on the first month of trying too so be prepared for that to happen

Oysterbabe Wed 12-Apr-17 23:11:23

To give you an idea, DD is in nursery 3 full days a week and it's £780 a month. I'm in Bristol. A child minder is probably cheaper and you may live somewhere where it's a lot cheaper.

Emma2803 Wed 12-Apr-17 23:27:44

Where I live full time nursery is approximately £35-£40 per day but that seems a lot cheaper than oyster so really depends on where you live, if you have family to help etc. You might find childcare is the lions share of your wage and it might work out that your not any better off when you take into account the price of childcare vs maternity pay.
Can you check out a few nurseries beforehand for rough prices?
Childminders are generally cheaper but maybe not as flexible if you have to do shift work.
Also have you checked does your company offer any enhanced maternity packages? If they did I would be staying put!! Where I work you have to be there 6 months before falling pregnant to qualify for enhanced package so if you are going to move to somewhere offering these packages do it sooner rather than later!!!!!

mainlywingingit Wed 12-Apr-17 23:43:57

My nursery is £65 a day in the South East -
😬 shocker!

Amynicole93 Thu 13-Apr-17 07:07:20

Yeahhh I'll do that, least then I can add up how much it will be, my mom would childmind whenever lol

Nooo my company doesn't offer anything like that, no packages, no childcare vouchers. I mean this is another reason why it might be better to get out of this job. I get nothing :/

Emma2803 Thu 13-Apr-17 07:47:15

Also look into what you are entitled to such as child benefit, tax credits etc also I think depending on where you are some places get so many hours free child care. Be great of your mom even did half your childcare

PotteringAlong Thu 13-Apr-17 07:50:13

my mom would childmind whenever lol

Do you think that or do you know that? If you're relying on family to provide free childcare you need to make sure they want to do it first.

Amynicole93 Thu 13-Apr-17 07:58:46

Yeahh i briefly had a look into it but I don't think I'll get much as I live with my partner and he works full time.

And yeah my moms already said she would as she doesn't work 😊

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