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When to tell people?

(14 Posts)
newmumtobe86 Wed 12-Apr-17 12:21:19

I miscarried at 8 weeks
I'm now pregnant again, I'm 5 weeks and wondering who to tell?
I want to tell my parents but don't want to jinx anything x

mummabubs Wed 12-Apr-17 12:29:27

It's completely your call 😊 I told my family when I was 5.5 weeks as my sister was about to fly out to Australia for a year and couldn't bear the thought of telling her over Skype. My other thought that influenced telling them early is that if anything happened (i.e miscarriage) I would want my family to know so that I could be open with them and get support. I appreciate though that not everyone would want their family to know so I'd personally be led by your own instincts on it, ignore the 12 week "rule" if you'd rather share earlier is my advice. Congratulations on your pregnancy and really hope all goes ok x

newmumtobe86 Wed 12-Apr-17 12:31:25

My family and a close friend was there for me when I miscarried so I think you're right
If they know now (6 weeks) I have support if heaven forbid anything goes wrong
Thank you x

DinosaurFanGirl Wed 12-Apr-17 12:42:30

I told my parents and close friends at 4wks (as soon as I found out) as I knew I would need their support. Told work colleagues at 10wks because I was suffering with sickness so bad I was struggling to hide it and they were all really worried. Some people I told were like "you shouldn't have told me so soon, you haven't had your 12 wk scan" but its our choice when to share the news and how we think we would cope best if something was to happen. Congratulations and good luck xx

SuperManStoleMyPants Wed 12-Apr-17 12:47:22

I miscarried with my first so I told my mother at 6 weeks with this one as I felt I would need her support. I told the rest of my family about 10 weeks as I was their way visiting. Work were also told at 10 weeks as I was constantly sick.

As for friends and the rest of the world I'm 31 weeks and haven't gotten around to telling most people. I'm not one for big life/Facebook announcements.

Sarah2406 Wed 12-Apr-17 13:05:16

With our first, we had an early scan at 8 weeks so that we knew everything was okay and we could tell everyone at our wedding (I was 9 weeks at that point). I told close friends and family when I found out.
Now I am pregnant with number 2, no one except me, hubby and a couple of very close friends know. Not even family. We are waiting until the 12 week scan and are quite enjoying having our little secret, I thought for sure my mum would guess but she doesn't suspect a thing just yetsmile

Lemondrop09 Wed 12-Apr-17 13:08:32

I don't believe you can jinx. Anything sad that might happen, will happen no matter who you tell. I was forced to tell some people early as I was very sick, cruelly their support was a blessing. I basically decided to tell those closest to me early (my rule was anyone I'd turn to for support if I had a miscarriage). And my boss had to know, but not other colleagues. After the 12 weeks scan, I told friends etc who were starting to notice my ongoing absence through sickness. I'm probably not going to spread it more widely until after the 20 week scan.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Lemondrop09 Wed 12-Apr-17 13:10:53

Cruelly??! I didn't mean that (thanks autocorrect). I mean thankfully their support was a blessing smile

MamaHanji Wed 12-Apr-17 13:41:31

I've always told as soon a I found out. My reasons were that if god forbid anything was to happen, I would need the support from my loved ones.

Congratulations on your pregnancy xx

PinkHeart59156816 Wed 12-Apr-17 13:43:53

Anytime you like, pregnancy has no completely safe point so it really is just a personally thing when you want to tell people.

Congratulations btw 😃

Aria2015 Wed 12-Apr-17 13:57:42

It's you call. I had two miscarriages before having my lo and I've done both, told people early and then not told people until later - it didn't 'protect' me against miscarriage either way. Personally I find that I tell my nearest and dearest of my losses regardless of whether I told them I was pregnant so I've concluded I might as well tell them early so that I have their love and support as it's an anxious time when you've suffered a loss. Best of luck with whatever you decide and congratulations!

Snowflakes1122 Wed 12-Apr-17 14:04:36

Sorry for your loss flowers

We felt better about things when we passed the point I had the miscarriage (13 weeks) so we told inlaws at 14 weeks.

Still haven't told many people and I'm 30 weeks!

There is no right or wrong answer, so tell who you want when you feel it's best. Some people feel telling those close to them offers them support after a miscarriage, others prefer to wait.

60percentbanana Wed 12-Apr-17 15:31:05

I didn't tell anyone last time and miscarried at 6ish weeks, and ended up telling my mum after the fact. This time round I'm only 4 weeks but I've told my mum now, just in case. I'll tell friends after the first scan (or maybe around the 10ish week mark and hen things are more hopeful) and work as late as possible. I'm self employed so will doubtless lose customers and would prefer that happens later rather than sooner.

user1471496670 Wed 12-Apr-17 16:30:54

I'm only 4+4 and we've told family, some close friends, and my manager and a couple of close colleagues.
I'm not superstitious, I've had a previous miscarriage and a previous suspected cp. Telling people won't affect the outcome and we want to be happy and excited as much as possible.

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