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(90 Posts)
kelslakeishax Sat 08-Apr-17 11:33:18

So i had my 16 week midwife appointment today and i brought up the subject of having an elective c section and when i was able to book an appointment to see a consultant she said this wouldn't be further discussed until 36weeks. I think this is wrong however.

So here are some questions i have for mums who have had this done before or an opting for one now!

-What week did you have an appointment to discuss a c section?

-How easy was it to get one?

-Did it all go to plan?

-Can you get one on non medical grounds?

bumblebee61 Sat 08-Apr-17 11:36:35

Why would you want one if not on medical grounds? It is major abdominal surgery and takes quite a while to recover fully. It is painful and takes longer to be able to drive, lift your baby etc. I had two but only because my pelvis is too small to deliver safely I cannot understand why anyone would want one voluntarily.

kelslakeishax Sat 08-Apr-17 11:44:06

I can really see your point I do, but I'm a small girl myself and that's the whole reason I want one because I am very very small around my pelvic area. I don't want one because I just fancy having major surgery I want one because I think it would be the safest way for me and my baby. I just need some advice about when my appointments would be etc. If you could give me advice and answers as you've had two yourself that would be very helpful.

megletthesecond Sat 08-Apr-17 11:46:23

Hi kel you might be better off reposting in the childbirth topic. There's a few similar threads in there if you go back to a little.

Teabagtits Sat 08-Apr-17 11:46:51

Generally they won't discuss a section until 36 weeks. They don't tend to offer them without a proper medical need due to the risks and recovery. You'll be surprised at what your pelvis can do when it has to!

megletthesecond Sat 08-Apr-17 11:46:56

go back a little.

SkiBike007 Sat 08-Apr-17 11:48:58

I asked and had a meeting with registrar at my 20wk scan and was booked in there and then for a c sec at 39wks. I'd had previous c sec unplanned with my first. As this is your first pregnancy I would research all options but keep expressing your wishes. It is major surgery.

harleysmammy Sat 08-Apr-17 11:52:31

Why would you want one unless it's medically needed?? If it's just because you don't wanna go through the pain of labour, a c section will hurt a lot more afterwards. Like the pp it's major abdominal surgery. I'm surprised your midwife didn't shoot you down and tell you no straight away.
I am at risk of shoulder dystoxia so I have to have a c section because my baby is already estimated 8 lb and I'm 36 weeks so I have no choice but to have a c section, my consultant said if I turned it down I would be risking my baby's health and I would never do that but I would do anything to have a natural labour. I'm 37 weeks in 2 days and I haven't discussed the c section at all, only that I will have one.
Before I got pregnant I was in size 6 clothes and am all baby, no extra weight so can still fit into my size 6 leggings and am only size 12 with a bump. Before they said I needed a c section, at about 16 weeks I asked my midwife how the hell I was gunna give birth because I was so small and she said it doesn't matter how big or small you are, your pelvis will birth your baby no matter what. I really think you need to think about it a bit more, I will be gobsmaked if they let you have one just because you think you are too small.

kelslakeishax Sat 08-Apr-17 11:53:57

I just have a genuine fear of giving birth as well as my size. I know most mums wont agree and I will get a lot of not nice comments but I think this would be the best option for me. I know most people think its wrong but at the end of the day its my decision and my choice. x

Toobloodytired Sat 08-Apr-17 11:57:53

Labour & giving birth isn't as bad as you think it will be.

The only reason I don't intend on having anymore children is because I had major complications after the birth. However the labour & birth was a piece of piss, it was chilled, me & my mum were having a laugh. I was posting updates on here.

Too many people go for a c section solely because they are scared of childbirth but don't realise it's not as bad as they genuinely think.

kelslakeishax Sat 08-Apr-17 11:59:08

As pregnant women shouldn't we all be supporting and helping eachother? not criticising eachother over our decisions. I am gobsmacked. I come on here for some advice and all I get is criticism for my decision.

laurzj82 Sat 08-Apr-17 12:04:14

I dont think it is critism you are getting. Its honest advice. I had a c section and it was horrific. I wont scare you with the story in case you do end up getting one. Trust me, think through the risks before blindly going into it because you think you wont be able to deliver naturally. I mean this in the nicest possible way flowers

Toobloodytired Sat 08-Apr-17 12:22:40

No one is criticising you, we are supporting you by asking you to not take the decision lightly to have a c section.

Ultimately it's your decision.

Speak to your midwife, ask to see obstetrician & ask for the c section.

Prepare to be told a firm no.

LottieL Sat 08-Apr-17 12:40:10

I hope you don't take offence to this but you need to understand that you may be told that they are not prepared to book you in for a C section for the reasons you've cited. It isn't criticism but I think people are trying to warn you of that very real possibility as from your posts you seem to be assuming that it's a done deal and you will just book in as you please.

MoreProseccoNow Sat 08-Apr-17 12:41:56

OP, I think there's a NICE guideline about maternal request c-sections. Birth choices are usually finalised around 36 weeks, but you can request one. It's a perfectly reasonable request & you are entitled to ask.

It's a very damaging & unhealthy narrative for women that natural birth is "best".

NerrSnerr Sat 08-Apr-17 12:42:33

My section was discussed at about 22 weeks but I know many won't discuss pure elective until very late. Mine was due to medical issues and I had it 3 days ago (it's my second). I'm not sure many surgeons would be happy to put you through the increased risks of blood clots, infections etc (and the spinal bloody hurts). If you're desperate then you need a really good argument for it, and I don't think just being small will cut it.

scaredofthecity Sat 08-Apr-17 12:48:43

The fact of the matter is that c-sections are relatively more expensive and are associated with quite serious complications.
Most trusts are skint and haven't got the budget to offer cs just for maternal preference. You have to have a good reason, and these will differ trust by trust.
I know of mums who have had to go private to get a cs as they were unable to get one on the NHS. This is £££ so possibly won't be an option for you.
I'd just be prepared that it might not be an option.

NonsensicalNonsense Sat 08-Apr-17 12:48:49

I think its also because its your first baby OP and its very early on to be thinking of this which is why you're getting these sorts of reactions. Since the beginning of my pregnancy (now 39 weeks) I've been adamant i do not want pethadine or an epidural but now I'm 39 weeks i realise i want wants best for my baby so I'm not going to rule anything out. You may feel small around the pelvis etc but medically if you're not then would you not even consider giving nature a go?! Also midwives generally won't discuss anything like that until after 20 week scan at least due to the potential outcomes of the 20 week scan.

mimiholls Sat 08-Apr-17 13:13:30

A genuine fear of birth will be taken seriously and a mental health reason is a valid reason for a c section according to the nhs. It is your body and it is a valid choice as long as you are aware of all the pros and cons. A section is now no longer much higher risk than a normal birth, the risks are just different, which is why the NICE guidelines were changed a few years back. However, it depends on your nhs trust as to how difficult it will be to get one. Many will offer for anxiety/mental health issues but not for straight forward maternal request. You need to talk to your midwife asap and ask to be referred to someone at the hospital- usually first step will be a consultant midwife. They may refer you for counselling to talk through your anxiety. You will then need to see a consultant who is the only person that can actually agree to it. In my experience it was a long process and I had to jump through a lot of hoops. I finally got it agreed at 35 weeks- after 28 weeks of meetings. I had no physical health indications. My advice would be to do your research very thoroughly and make sure you understand all the pros and cons. For what it's worth, it was a great decision for me and I couldn't have been happier with how everything went. Very fast recovery, much faster than many people who have a normal birth, though this can obviously differ. If you head over to the childbirth board there are several recent threads on this topic with good advice.

Sparklyuggs Sat 08-Apr-17 14:16:43

I think you've been given some good advice here, frankly it isn't easy to get one on the NHS for choice, but it is possible but will take a lot of standing firm. This thread is useful to read

You are very likely to be sent to a psychologist to be assessed for a fear of giving birth, it's a genuine fear and they take it seriously.

Good luck OP.

Cuppaqueen Sat 08-Apr-17 14:53:56

Hi OP, here is the link to the NICE guidelines mentioned above which are well worth a read:

I've also attached a screenshot of the specific notes on maternal request. Obviously these are guidelines and my understanding is that hospitals set their own policies, but a good knowledge of and reference to them should help your case for elective CS.

Also, I completely get where you're coming from and I'm sorry you've had some negative responses. There are plenty of threads on here attesting to the risks of vaginal birth and personally as a healthy, fit woman at low risk for surgery, I'd rather take those associated with elective C-section. In any case, I think it should be your decision and whatever you do decide, I wish you well. smile

Lunalovepud Sat 08-Apr-17 14:57:08

kelslakeishax I'm sorry you seem to have been getting a bit of a hard time here... I hope that people telling you to be prepared to be told no isn't making your anxiety about the whole situation worse.

Mental health reasons are a valid medical reason.

If you have a fear of childbirth which is making you want a c section, please speak to your midwife. In many trusts there is a specific midwife to support women with mental health through their pregnancies and often someone who specialises in tokophobia.

If after counselling and properly understanding the risks associated with a section you still want one, you are absolutely within your rights to both ask for one, and get one.

As PPs have said, it isn't an easy option - it is painful and recovery is slower than a vaginal birth (for the most part) but it's your body and your baby. You need to make sure you get as much information as possible about both methods of delivery and then decide what is best for you.

Good luck with everything and I hope you are soon feeling less anxious.

Lunalovepud Sat 08-Apr-17 15:00:15

And if your midwife won't help you, speak to another one. Or the supervisor of midwives. Unfortunately, some midwives seem to think that their job is to make sure that every mother gets the birth that THEY want, rather than the birth that the mother wants.

kelslakeishax Sat 08-Apr-17 15:20:51

Thanks for the advice everyone! Knew something wasn't correct! Going to ring up hospital Monday! I'm about to right some notes. Any suggestions on what to start with?

deaddeadgood Sat 08-Apr-17 15:28:20

Wow it took the first reply to make you have to justify this. Lovely.
you don't have to justify yourself to anyone if that's your choice.

The best thing to do is try to find your local trust's policy on C sections. This will then show you what procedure they have to follow. I think 36 weeks is too late. They would have to follow procedure which will take a few weeks to sort out of even refer you to another hospital to have it done.
I kept asking and asking for a C section and demanding the appointment with the consultant midwife to set things in motion. I received a lot of negative comments like that from the first responder in this thread but you just have to ignore them.

I wrote pages and pages of justification to go into the consultant midwife appointment. I did my research. You have to be really firm.eventually I got it but they weren't really happy about it.

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